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Couplets (currently 2176 views) |
Don |
Posted: March 24th, 2004, 10:32pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16449 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: March 25th, 2004, 1:26pm |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
What he pens oft fairly clear But doth he see or doth he hear
I once thought I had control but what I lacked he made whole
He and I are two sides of desire This longing for him my indissoluble mire
I once asked most every day doth this relationship go just one way?
"Let's be friends..." (is what I mean when I ask your opinion on a scene)
"I think of you" (is what I say before I fuck the day away)
Now that I write I think I'll regret that he and I once ever met
I want to be greedy, steal all his attention but of his name, I give no mention.
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| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 1 - 21 |
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R.E._Freak |
Posted: March 25th, 2004, 1:33pm |
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Guest User
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Logged |
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Reply: 2 - 21 |
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TheParadoxicalShaman |
Posted: March 25th, 2004, 10:08pm |
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New He wanted to talk, I wanted to shoot...
LocationCanada....in a valley Posts205 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
clap, clap, clap! yaaaay! well done, very poetic... moving...very moving....and i mean that in a good way |
| He wanted to talk. I wanted to shoot. |
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Reply: 3 - 21 |
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Don |
Posted: March 25th, 2004, 11:53pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16449 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Lesley wrote of me. Lesley wrote of thee.
Lesley wrote of the girl I dearly sought The girl who pained me as an after thought.
Lesly wrote of girl who loved me and I knew, And I carried her friend up to my room.
Lesly wrote of me, now older and fat, She wrote of my love who is also that.
Lesly wrote of much that needs to be said, but I'm tired and now tottle off to bed.
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| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 4 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: March 26th, 2004, 12:35pm |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
That's awesome, Don. That is super awesome.
I don't know, I was feeling stressed out yesterday and threw that one I wrote together in about an hour. I would have taken longer and been more lengthy about it, but I was already running late for school.
I really, really liked it. That's superb. |
| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 5 - 21 |
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TheParadoxicalShaman |
Posted: March 26th, 2004, 7:37pm |
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New He wanted to talk, I wanted to shoot...
LocationCanada....in a valley Posts205 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
Delightful anxiety waiting in darkness Gobbling desires in a manner of...shark....ness...(cough, cough)
No room to grow, no room left in waiting Watching Animal Planet with it's bestial mating
Sitting on the couch, tired as hell Can't think of things to do, locked in my cell
When i realize these couplets are sh*tty as anything Talent now lost temporarily....ing
Ahem...
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| He wanted to talk. I wanted to shoot. |
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Reply: 6 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: March 26th, 2004, 8:44pm |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
You're having an odd day, shaman. I can already tell. |
| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 7 - 21 |
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TheParadoxicalShaman |
Posted: March 26th, 2004, 10:24pm |
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New He wanted to talk, I wanted to shoot...
LocationCanada....in a valley Posts205 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
yeah, i don't think i'll bother putting up any more poems anymore....
i need to let my thoughts collect and school work dissipate....
terrible....just terrible. |
| He wanted to talk. I wanted to shoot. |
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Reply: 8 - 21 |
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Don |
Posted: March 26th, 2004, 11:35pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16449 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Shaman:
"Delightful anxiety..." was a work of art.
"Yeah, I don't think..." was crap. Probably the worst couplet I've ever read. Neither "anymore" nor "dissipate" nor "terrible" rhyme. Also, couplet = two. You had three lines in there.
Wait! Nothing of what I said above was a couplet! Poetry police! Aaaahhh... |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 9 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: March 27th, 2004, 2:43pm |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
Don, as an after thought, I was really feeling that "Lesly wrote of girl who loved me and I knew, and I carried her friend up to my room" line.
I mean, turned around and it were a guy instead of a girl, I likely would have done the same.
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| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 10 - 21 |
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Don |
Posted: March 28th, 2004, 1:55am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16449 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
Lesly:
When you wrote: "...and threw that one I wrote together in about an hour." My response was, "I hate you." You tossed out that brilliance as an afterthought? You've got a talent.
On my first read of "What he pens oft fairly clear" , it was a poem from my own heart (change the 'he' to 'she'). On another read, it was a peom from the heart of at least one woman I dated (waaaay back when I was young and beautiful). I felt pain on two levels. The pain I received and the pain I gave.
BTW, with regard to "the girl who loved me and I knew and carried her friend up to my room", I am to this day friends with "The Girl". We coorespond often. When in town she and her husband and my wife and I get together for barbeques. Oddly enough, when we dated, we argued and fought and I was mean (and I thought she was, too). When we broke up (everytime) we were the best of friends. We still are. As for the 'Friend I carried up to my room' (well, she wasn't a friend of her's (artistic license)), I don't know what happened to her. Quite frankly, I don't care.
Don |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 11 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: March 28th, 2004, 11:51pm |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
Seriously, Don, all I did was start to brainstorm in the "quick reply", which is what I always use when I post. It did take some time, but I was only conscious of the time because I did have to leave for school. I stayed in this section about an hour (for real) and wrote what I was feeling. Then I arranged it and deleted out what I didn't think worked. That's why that whole big space on the bottom of my poem is there. I don't know that it was brilliance, so I feel highly flattered by that. Thank you so very, very much. It's basically a two level poem. It's two people speaking. What's in parentheses is him speaking. The rest from me and my thoughts. That's awesome you can forgive and forget. I think I'm just gonna take a little time with the forgetting part for now because what I feel is mainly a great deal of frustration. |
| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 12 - 21 |
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Don |
Posted: March 29th, 2004, 12:18am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16449 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
That's awesome you can forgive and forget. |
Well, twenty years has a way of washing out the sand and dirt and leave what it was that held us together as friends. Don |
| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 13 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: April 19th, 2004, 3:18am |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
A Willing Victim
She moves like the wind on a bitter cold night She makes you then shiver and hold yourself tight
When she is there you feel like you're high It's not like you need to but somehow you sigh
This can't be healthy, you're thinking right now I want to forget her, I just don't know how. She'll trample your heart, your mind in a mix You know that she's bad, but you need your fix
She cares not for love nor human emotion She thinks it's all funny, her crap little notion
To get your mind reeling over who she really is But not give a damn because that's showbiz
But know if you leave, she will not be vexed She's thinking about who she'll play with next...
- For the boy I loved so dearly. Perhaps he will now see clearly. - |
| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 14 - 21 |
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Rob S. |
Posted: April 27th, 2004, 9:13pm |
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I'll give this a try. Here's a satirical poem about some famous people we all know.
Russell Crowe may not always drink and fight But it's true that he's not very kind or bright
We oughta send Michael Jackson back to his planet And hope the crazy gene has passed by Janet
Rush got caught with some prescription pills He must've have some interesting thrills
Lebron is now a shining star Try to avoid the hotel bars
We should wait until after the Kobe case Before judging or calling him a headcase
Television has become a pit of trash I burned my TV and reduced it to ash
How did Jessica Simpson get a show? All of America should tell her to go
I did not want to offend or make people mad It's just that all this insanity makes me sad. |
| Your best feature is your heart and soul. |
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Reply: 15 - 21 |
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lesleyjl21 |
Posted: April 29th, 2004, 3:52am |
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LocationSouthern California Posts206 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
LOL, it is so the truth, Rob. I enjoyed this. GL with the studying! |
| true love waits... i guess. |
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Reply: 16 - 21 |
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Rob S. |
Posted: April 29th, 2004, 10:38pm |
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It was something I just threw together. I had a couple lines about John Ashcroft, but I excluded them for fear of men in suits with government badges beating me up when I step out of my apartment. |
| Your best feature is your heart and soul. |
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Reply: 17 - 21 |
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Rob S. |
Posted: July 7th, 2004, 9:02pm |
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This is my second celebrity humorous poem for the enjoyment of all.
Kobe Bryant's soon going on trial He better have Johnie Cochran on speed dial.
Will Smith with a whole bunch of robots Get ready for many long dull spots.
Clinton's out and pushing his book All the while giving girls "the look".
Madonna has changed her legal name But that won't save her sinking fame.
A rock super-group with my man Slash Now, where did he hide his private stash?
The Jeopardy dude who cannot loose And me watching him, drunk on booze.
J-Lo, I swear to leave you alone Once your husband tally reach a million and one.
The New York Post made a huge mistake But does that count since they're all fakes?
Michael Jackson wears pink diapers. Much paler than the ghost named Casper.
I did not want to offend or make people mad. It's just that all this insanity makes me sad. |
| Your best feature is your heart and soul. |
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Reply: 18 - 21 |
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AndreaJones |
Posted: July 9th, 2004, 9:02am |
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Posts28 Posts Per Day 0.00 |
That was very funny, Rob. But did you have to go with the Bill Clinton joke? You're better than that. Oh well. It's still good. |
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Reply: 19 - 21 |
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Rob S. |
Posted: July 13th, 2004, 10:26pm |
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I'm still getting into the poetry flow, and ran short on material. It was a nice, funny joke and I couldn't leave it out. |
| Your best feature is your heart and soul. |
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Reply: 20 - 21 |
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Rob S. |
Posted: June 30th, 2005, 6:29pm |
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Posts217 Posts Per Day 0.03 |
Ben and Jen walking down the aisle, Divorce will come in a very short while.
Bush made a speech the other night And misprounced the word "fight".
Tom Cruise has gone completely insane While on his scientology campaign.
Michael Jackson won't be sent to jail. Now, he should stay away from the young males.
Everyone's obsessed with the game of poker But all the fans are simply mediocre.
No one's watching Tucker Carlson's show Wait till winter, he'll choke on a ball of snow.
O'Reilly's a big huge pervert Who likes to wear womens' skirts.
George Lucas made a ton of cash, But he still buys his friends bags of cheap hash.
I did not want to offend or make people mad It's just that all this insanity makes me sad. |
| Your best feature is your heart and soul. |
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Reply: 21 - 21 |
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