Roses are red, (so is your blood)
Violets are blue, (and black)
Mess with Chuck Norris,
And he'll roundhouse kick you.

Sweet...very random....but still...sweet.

Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee
Underneath the willow tree
Late at night I sleep and dream
About the time he fought Kareem
He kicked and punched without a hitch
Til Chuck Norris stepped in and said
"Yo, back up bitch"


Bruce Lee is gone and Chuck's in control
And now this poem will get on a roll
The Hitman, Sidekicks, Silent Rage
In Missing in Action, he was stuck in a cage
Oh, how I worship you, Chuck Norris
................................
Nothing rhymes with Chuck Norris


The preceding message has been approved by Chuck Norris

Quoted from Shelton Nothing rhymes with Chuck Norris

Chorus
Delores
Forrest (kinda)
For us
Tore us (as in new ass)

Quoted from Breanne Mattson Chorus Delores Forrest (kinda) For us Tore us (as in new ass)

Way to pee on my campfire Breanne.  

An amended version, just for you.


Bruce Lee
Bruce Lee
Underneath the willow tree
Late at night I sleep and dream
About the time he fought Kareem
He kicked and punched without a hitch
Til Chuck Norris stepped in and said
"Yo, back up bitch"


Bruce Lee is gone and Chuck's in control
And now this poem will get on a roll
The Hitman, Sidekicks, Silent Rage
In Missing in Action, he was stuck in a cage
Oh, how I worship you, Chuck Norris
And your minty fresh breath
Kept clean with Lavoris


The preceding message is still approved by Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris

Don't think that's a poem? Take it up with Chuck.

Quoted from Shelton Way to pee on my campfire Breanne.

Ouch! Peeing on a campfire is really hard when you’re a woman. My butts getting burned!

Hahaha. I’m sorry. I was just trying to help. I think I’m somewhat of an expert on Chuck Norris since we look exactly alike.

Chuck and Breanne
have the same face
And they're never seen
in the same place

Chuck walks around
Like Walker, Texas Ranger
Breanne raises a fist
Your life is in danger

They'll reach inside your body
And pull out your spleen
Somewhat reminiscent
Of David Carradine

And just when you thought
that Ol' Chuck was dead
Along comes Breanne
Breaking bricks with her head.

There once was a guy named Mike Shelton
Dean Martin songs he loved to go beltin’
Pretended to host a celebrity roast
Where drunken and cool he delivered a toast
To Sinatra and Lawford and ole Sammy D.
Wore a tuxedo and dreamed it was he
Who could mean just as much as Dino did to us
But alas he’s no Dino--perhaps Jerry Lewis

College tuition: $2,000 a semester
Text books: $350
DVCAM Tape, MiniDV Tape, VHS Tape, Minidisc: $250
Getting bored during a photoshop lab taught by a guy with a sense of humor: priceless

For some things there's Mastercard. For everything else, there's Chuck Norris.

They call him Chuck
With a career full of luck
Breanne loves his mug
Shelton acts like a slug
This poem is dumb, of course
But his best movie is The Delta Force!

Ok, so I haven't written poetry in like a year, so sue me.

Chuck Norris doesn't sue. He roundhouse kicks.

Hey, Chuck may have the roundhouse kick but he doesn’t look as good in a skirt as me. Well, okay, I’ve never seen him in a skirt so maybe he does, I don’t know.

I've seen chuck in a skirt and let me tell you, it's not pretty. And speaking of roundhouse kicks, you don't ever want to see Chuck roundhouse kick while wearing the aforementioned clothing. He should stick to ass kicking in pants.

You guys certainly are obsessed with Chuck Norris. Not that there's anything wrong with that. His tears do cure cancer after all. It's too bad he's never cried.