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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Parentheticals Moderators: George Willson
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 12:36am Report to Moderator
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Do you need those little blurbs in every script? Because I've found while writing my series my characters don't really need them much if at all


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Ian
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 1:52pm Report to Moderator
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I just use them when the reader needs to know HOW someone says something. Sometimes someone says something (sarcastically) or (under his/her breath) etc, and if that's not established, the dialogue doesn't work. If you don't think they're needed, then they're probably not. YOU know how a scene is supposed to happen, and how the dialogue is supposed to come across.

Ian


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Chris_MacGuffin
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 1:52pm Report to Moderator
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I very rarely use them.
I guess it depends on the writer.
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 2:00pm Report to Moderator
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My characters say what they feel and feel what they say, uncut uncensored. No under the breath talk going on.


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Ian
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 2:36pm Report to Moderator
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LOL I'm not at all surprised! That's fine them. Just use them if you think they're needed.

Ian


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Chris_MacGuffin
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 2:37pm Report to Moderator
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Right
- the way a line is read is up to the director, so I try not to use them.
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 2:46pm Report to Moderator
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I think if you tell someone what to think by say using (Sarcastically) How do you sarcastically talk to be honest I have no clue. When I jokingly talk ilaugh at the end so someone knows I'm screwing with them, my characters reflect me.

Accept I noticed while writing my full length script that people smiled at each other way to often, you think that's okay since as humans we smile a lot throughout our lives

PS Thank you Ian and Ziggy for the help, it's appreciated


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Old Time Wesley  -  February 5th, 2005, 2:47pm
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Chris_MacGuffin
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 2:48pm Report to Moderator
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You're welcome.
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NW3
Posted: February 5th, 2005, 9:06pm Report to Moderator
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Those are fair points so far and I wouldn't disagree. If you write clearly you shouldn't need them, or sometimes a line of Action Description might be a better solution if a line really is ambiguous e.g. "It's my pleasure," through gritted teeth.

This is something writers worry about and the fact is it makes no difference.
When your script is sold (Yeah, right) you won't have any power over what happens to it. If you have lots of parentheticals they will most likely be crossed out or ignored in rehearsals when pages are most likely to be typed up or rewritten. I have certainly never seen a writer on a film set but it's perfectly normal to see the actor and director deciding what way to deliver a line and frequently trying several different ways.

I'd only say that over-using parentheticals marks your script as amateurish at that vital selling stage. It's up to you.

Hope that helps.
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: February 6th, 2005, 12:50am Report to Moderator
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Was that "Yeah, right" directed at me or just in general?

Either way I'm not driven by selling a script, people who are need to set there priorities straight because they don't care about making quality work, just the money.


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NW3
Posted: February 6th, 2005, 7:51am Report to Moderator
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Wes,

No! Not directed at you. 'Your' in that case was a general comment for any writer, myself as much as anyone. "If one sells one's script" sounds a bit silly.

Who here has sold their writing? Is it just you (Wes) that doesn't want to? I'm not sure that quality work and money don't go together but it seems to me that claiming not to want to sell anything is a sure way to protect oneself from the eventual realization that it won't. It's like saying your - one's - writing is supposed to be bad like a B-movie or a tribute to trash. One has to write well before one can write bad good. (Er, let me read that again...)

Veered off topic here but it's an interesting point for discussion.

No flames, I'm genuinely curious because I've noticed you (Wes) give a lot of advice. I'm new here and haven't read your work yet and it's not a personal attack or anything that wastes time like that..
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: February 6th, 2005, 1:58pm Report to Moderator
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You don't have to be a spectacular writer to give good advice, just a fan of films and the art that is screenwriting, you know?

I know I'm an average or below average writer and I accept my role, some people have dilusions of being rich. I just am not at that stage of comfort to care much about selling anything, some of the people have on here havesold something.

I know it sounds odd but all I really care about is the average person enjoying my work.

Anyways it doesn't matter if you go off topic, you guys have already answered my question.


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Acroname
Posted: February 10th, 2005, 9:08am Report to Moderator
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I can identify with Wesley here. Myself, I never seem to think about making money when I write something, which means all MY needs are out the window and all I care about then are the characters and the story, which can't be a bad thing.

And yeah, I also get a kick out of seeing someone enjoying my work. I think that is compensation enough at times! But don't get me wrong, a nice fat paycheck at the end of all my hard work wouldn't go amiss either! But, I'm happy enough at the moment...
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JonnyBoy
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:22am Report to Moderator
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Forgive me for digging up a 4 year old thread, but since the forums are pretty busy at the mo I thought I'd ask a question that's been bugging me about my feature.

I'm using parentheticals in a way that makes sense to me, but I don't think is strictly right: to show movements, or changes in who's being spoken to, without breaking the flow of things with annoying, one line action paragraphs.

Let me give you a few examples (this is also a sneak preview of some of the characters/dialogue from my feature, you lucky people!):

SAM
I’ve got to go pick up my cousin,
remember? And his train gets in
in...
(looks at watch, groans)
...twenty minutes. Shit.

...and...

SCRUBS
Fair enough.
(leans over to Charlie)
Sorry, mate.
(back to everyone else)
So, everyone set for the party
tonight? It’s gonna be off da hook!

...and...

CHELLE (CONTD.)
And Charlie!!!
(launches herself at him)
You came! Great!
(seriously, to Maria)
Charlie is Sam’s cousin, you know.

Three examples, but don't worry, they're pretty isolated cases. I'm not using this constantly, just occasionally. When (if) I get this finished and posted, I don't want people picking up on this to distract them from other issues - story/dialogue/characters/etc.

Is my use of them just plain, unforgivably wrong? Or can I just call it a stylistic choice? I quite like this, and prefer it to the short-action-lines alternative. Please say it's okay!


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mcornetto
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:27am Report to Moderator
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It's all a matter of who you listen to about it.  I have read write-ups that say you can use parentheticals for small pieces of action.  I have read write-ups that say not to.  

I usually only use parentheticals when I want to change the way a piece of dialogue reads like

SHEILA
(with love)
I hate you.

However,  sometimes, if I want the reader to concentrate on the dialogue, I will use parentheticals that contain the action so as not to split that piece of dialogue with an action line.  
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Tommyp
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:33am Report to Moderator
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Jon, I'm not very experienced, but I will say what I have learnt...

The first one I would put as action. The second one, not sure. The third one isn't needed at all. We know he is talking to everyone because he says "So, everyone..." I would put a beat there instead of what you have.

The fourth one I would put in the action. The fifth one, you don't need to say "serioulsy" there. Just "to Maria" is fine to keep in there.

Hope I have helped. And I hope I am not the bringer (is that the right word?) of too bad news. I don't think it matters too much, as long as you don't have too many in there overall.


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George Willson
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:35am Report to Moderator
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Well, it's like this. Action paragraphs are so called because they describe just that: action. A parenthetical (or more commonly referred to as a wryly) is generally not used to convey action unless it can be described in a few words, like this: reading a line or producing a stiletto.

What you have above is to much action for a wryly in most cases, and in others, you have to remember that the actions are being done to interrupt the dialogue and a progressive verb is typically used.

"Looks at watch, groans" is too much and better separated to an action line. The two in the Scrubs dialogue also seem to be better placed as action paragraphs, though the first could be done "leaning to Charlie." Coming out of that back to the room seems to much for the wryly, though.

The "launches herself" in the Chelle dialogue is too much. But "to Maria" totally works if the scene itself doesn't make the movement obvious.

Wrylies should be used sparingly as a general rule, since the scene should convey what's going on during the dialogue, and a good actor can usually figure it out. If you want that much control, write the novel first.


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Dreamscale
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 12:53am Report to Moderator
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Right on, George.  I agree completely.  Use sparingly...very sparingly.
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mcornetto
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 2:50am Report to Moderator
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Here's a pretty good write-up about parentheticals that I found on another screenwriting site.  That should about cover it for you Johnny.
**********************************************************************
Parentheticals are sometimes referred to as "wrylies" because there are times a writer would like to have his dialogue delivered "wryly," meaning to evoke an emotion, a tone, a certain pitch behind the dialogue: wryly, sarcastically, sadly, slyly, etc.

These wrylies are usually in the form of an adverb, but there's no problem if you wish to use a simple verb.

The best use of a parenthesis is when the line means the exact opposite. Example:

BOB
(sarcastically)
You look lovely.

Don't use a parenthesis in a redundant way:

MARY
(shouting)
He's behind you!

An example of a necessary way:

MARY
(whispers)
He's behind you!

Another way to convey emotion, tone is an example from the "Pirates of the Caribbean":

WILL
You cheated.

JACK
(what do you expect?)
Pirate.

Usually a parenthesis will consist of words or phrases and not complete sentences, but as you can see with the pirate Jack example, there are exceptions.

If you have more than one direction in a parenthesis, you'll use a semicolon to separate them.

I don't include a parenthesis to tell an actor how to read a line (angrily, sadly, calmly, happily, etc.) unless there's a good reason for it.

An actor goes through a process to discover their character and how they would act in situations. They much rather have the context of the scene and dialogue express to them how a character would read a certain line. &nbsp

Besides a parenthetical being used for a character's dialogue, it also can be used for his actions -- within reason.

If a new writer asked me about putting action in parenthesis, I'd inform him that the proper format for action/description is to put it flush with the left margin, but this isn't an absolute rule. There are exceptions.

I'll point out some exceptions where a writer might want to use actions in parentheses.

For example, to use a short action as a pause for a one-sided phone call to indicate that a character is listening to someone:

Bob answers the phone.

BOB
Hello.
(grabs pen and paper)
Four o'clock. I'll be there.

A writer might use an action in parenthesis to break up a block of dialogue: (rubs rabbit's foot).

A writer might not want to break the flow, rhythm or tension in a scene and/or between characters by placing a small piece of action on its own line and coming back to dialogue, so he'll use a parenthesis in the character's dialogue: (cocks the gun).

A writer knows that sometimes busy executives skim action/descriptions, so if they have an important piece of action they may put it in the character's dialogue instead of the action/description format to be sure it won't be missed.

A writer might go back to put a previous action in parenthesis because he wants to fit the last line of a character's dialogue on the end of the page.

Otherwise, he would have to use the annoying "MORE," or move all the dialogue over to the top of the next page.

If an action in parenthesis needs to go on for more than one line, then I'd suggest, if possible, to place it in the action/description format: flushed to the left margin.

There are exceptions for putting actions in parentheses, but keep in mind, the actions that you choose would work best if it actually revealed character and/or moved the story forward and not just filler to achieve a particular pause, break, etc.

Regardless of the exceptions I've mentioned, I suggest that the majority of your action be where action/description belongs: flushed with the left margin.

Otherwise, pages full of parentheses would be very distracting and annoying for the reader.

Other occasions where a writer might use a parenthesis:

There might be a group of characters, so a parenthesis will be needed to make it clear whom the speaker is speaking to:

BOB
(to Sue)
Enjoying yourself?

To indicate when a character is speaking on the phone:

BOB
(on phone)
Buy Sirius -- now!

To indicate when a character is speaking in a foreign language:

BOB
(in French)
I love you.

To indicate two characters speaking at the same time:

BOB
It wasn't my fault.

MARY
(simultaneously)
I want you to leave.
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JonnyBoy
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 2:55am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Michael! EXCELLENT piece. So if I understand it correctly, my use of wrylies (like that term, gonna use it from now on) is acceptable?

Yay!


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mcornetto
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 2:56am Report to Moderator
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It is acceptable but you should avoid using them if possible and only use them if you have a good reason.
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JonnyBoy
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 2:57am Report to Moderator
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Noted. I shall endeavour to exercise restraint wherever possible.

Thanks a lot for the responses, guys!


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Murphy
Posted: April 13th, 2009, 3:01am Report to Moderator
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Good thread guys, interesting. Nice post Michael.
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jerdol
Posted: April 24th, 2009, 12:24am Report to Moderator
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(sarcastically)
Yeah, right!
(argumentatively)
You're all wrong; you need parentheticals in every line of dialogue.
(shouting)
No one her knows how to write!
(more calmly)
But maybe I'm over-reacting.
(confused)
I - I mean - that is - what were we talking about?
(acquiescent)
Whatever; use them however much you want.


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mcornetto
Posted: April 24th, 2009, 3:46am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from jerdol
(sarcastically)
Yeah, right!
(argumentatively)
You're all wrong; you need parentheticals in every line of dialogue.
(shouting)
No one her knows how to write!
(more calmly)
But maybe I'm over-reacting.
(confused)
I - I mean - that is - what were we talking about?
(acquiescent)
Whatever; use them however much you want.


Feel better now that you've got that out of your system?
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