I'm in the middle of a rewrite which I'll finish before I start sending out queries. I think my logline is lacking something and the wording is a little awkward. I'm not sure about the synopsis either so any advice would be appreciated.

Open Your Mind is a Sci-Fi Thriller set in a dystopian near-future where thrill seekers go to extreme lengths to achieve the ultimate high.

Logline:

In a world where cranial surgery is the new heroin of a deteriorating nation, a hardened ex-con fights for his sanity and his life against the cartel boss who opened his mind in a bid to control him.

Synopsis.

Hours after his release from prison, ex-drug dealer Rick Brannon finds himself at the mercy of his former employer, Rufus,  who gives him a brutal introduction to an experimental new drug; a cranial implant known as the Regulator.

As he struggles to come to terms with the implant and his newfound freedom, Brannon finds himself thrust back into the sordid world of drugs he longed to leave behind.

When he meets Nikki, a troubled young girl whose boyfriend died from the Regulator, Brannon gains a new perspective and strives to free himself from Rufus' influence and prevent Nikki from falling under his spell. However, he soon discovers that the Regulator is good for more than just a quick fix, and that Rufus can control him in ways he never thought possible.

Bio:
I work as a creative writer for a major video games developer whose forthcoming game will be published by Electronic Arts. I have a bachelor's degree in Film and Literature and I've worked as a production manager on two independent short films. Two of my short screenplays have been produced and two more are currently in pre-production.

Quoted from Martin In a world where cranial surgery is the new heroin of a deteriorating nation, a hardened ex-con fights for his sanity and his life against the cartel boss who opened his mind in a bid to control him.

I wouldn't include the phrase 'opened his mind' in the logline. We know what it means because we know the story, but for someone who doesn't this would look quite confusing.

I suggest to use 'cranial implant' or something along that lines instead, like you did in the synopsis.

I agree with Mr. Z here about the "opened his mind" inclusion.  I remember when I first opened up the short, I didn't think the title was meant to be taken literally.  I would, however, include something about an ancient head surgical technique, but not necessarily "opened his mind."

agree with everyone. the open mind part has to go.