** If anyone can think of a better description/title feel free to suggest/change.

I am writing a 5 page script which consists of a character who begins talking to camera and then continues telling a story as a narrator over the top of a series of flashbacks.

There is a segment in the script where there are a series of shots of different cities in the world that the central character narrates over. Presently It looks something like this.. (not the real script by the way, this is just an example.)

Quoted Text EXT. LAS VEGAS SERIES OF SHOTS of Las Vegas, soldiers fighting in the streets.                      JON (V.O.)          They were fighting in Vegas. EXT. MOSCOW SERIES OF SHOTS of Moscow streets, the army fighting.                      JON (V.O.)           In Russia the battles raged on. EXT. DUBLIN Dublin streets full of war. etc.. etc...

Is there another way I can do this that is acceptable? The problem I have with this is that I am restricted to 5 pages for my script and If I want to show 4-5 cities in this fashion it is taking up far too much space.

Can I just say..

Quoted Text In LAS VEGAS a SERIES OF SHOTS show soldiers fighting in the streets.                      JON (V.O.)          They were fighting in Vegas. In the streets of MOSCOW, the army fighting.                      JON (V.O.)           In Russia the battles raged on. DUBLIN streets are full of war etc.. etc...

Cheers.

I'd think the second option would work. Can you preface it with:

MONTAGE AS JON TALKS:


                     JON (V.O.)
         They were fighting in Vegas.

Scenes of LAS VEGAS, rioting in the streets -

                     JON (V.O.)
          In Russia the battles raged on.

MOSCOW, chaos reigns there -

DUBLIN streets are full of war

END MONTAGE -

Or something like that....

Mr P, thanks very much. It makes sense to me so have gone with your suggestion and I think it looks alright.

Cheers.

Michael is correct.  Perhaps do a montage or a series of shots.

Series of shots:  Los Vegas, Moscow and Dublin...   Fighting, fighting, fighting...

V.O.

It doesn't matter where you go-- bloodshed is bloodshed.  Who cares what language pulls the pistol?  The dead are the dead and those that squeak past the pearly gates by a hair's breath are the same as you and I.  Maybe they just have a little more culture.  Maybe they know how to bow and curtsy during a time when hockey is the thing-- spearing and checking into the boards... So now I take this opportunity to travel into my past.

I remember the Philadelphia pyramids and white towels from Vancouver... and if anyone grew up in Vancouver during the 70s and listened to the radio plays:  Can you remember Jim Robson issuing his greetings to "the shut-ins"?  Those that couldn't get out to the hockey games?  Wow!  I think I was nine years old at the time and I still remember how I was hunkered down in my grandmother's bedroom and holding fast to his every word.

We were only the Vancouver Canucks with a simple horizontal stick and, as an afterthought, an accompanying puck to add meaning and measure.  We had these blessed friends who also entered the NHL at that time:  The Buffalo Sabres!  Oh the Buffalo Sabres!  Wow!  They joined with us before the real theater had entered the league.  In those times, the players were still allowed the ruthless jabs and mindless uppercuts that sliiiiid past the referees.

Coming back to your script... What do you want to show besides the "fighting" which is the very same thing in each place and circumstance?

If one scene is especially different, than the rest, and then, if you want to play that up in this "series of shots," you might want to force this in your description-- you might also want to make the difference plain by changing the shot somehow.  Maybe you change the coloring, or the sound or some static item within the scene... whatever it is, you draw attention to it.

Hope this helps,

Sandra    

BEGIN MONTAGE: FIGHTING IN THE STREETS

- In front of Luxor Casino, in Las Vegas

- At the Kremlin, in Moscow

- In front of St Peter's Basilica, in Rome

- On the steps of the Forbidden City, in Beijing

END MONTAGE

Austin has it right.  Straight and to the point.  It doesn't throw off the pacing of the script.


Phil