How would I write a scene which opens on a characters wandering eyes, then slowly zooms out to reveal the surrounding and that the character is hanging upside down? Is it alright to use camera angles every now and then? This is what I have. Is it right?


INT. VILLAGE- LATER

A pair of eyes frantically search the surrounding area.

PULL BACK AND REVEAL the eyes to be Larry's. He hangs naked upside down
from a wooden post.

The immediate surrounding is a tribal village of sorts. Various straw huts
sitting on dirt and mud, the outer rims of the village surrounded by the
dense Jungle.


~Zack~

Does anyone know if my example is correct?

~Zack~

Correct is ambiguous.  The camera thing is a matter of great debate.  It reads fine to me, but is it the introduction on Larry?  Does he need more description?  His name all caps?

It's not that bad. I'd say it's okay.

Way I would do it:

BLACKNESS (after the previous scene ends of course)

[BLUE, GREEN. BROWN] EYES POP OPEN. Darting around madly, surroundings slowly coming into focus...

EXT. VILLAGE

Larry hangs upside down from a wooden pole.

The focus thing hints at a P.O.V without actallu saying it and no other camera angles are used,. It's clear enough to understand, but still leaves space for the reader to fill the blanks.

At least, that's how I would do it.

--Julio

When I did it I did it the same way as you, but instead of the PULL BACK, I used a "These belong to LARRY (30s). He hangs upside...". I'm not sure if it's the correct way, but people I showed the script to never had any problems with it.

Plus it helped that I was directing it myself...

Thanks for the suggestions guys.

~Zack~

I personally think what you have there is fine.

After you describe Larry's eyes, describe his face.  Frantic.  Scared.  Whatever.  Then go with his full body.  This way you pull back with using any camera shot.


Phil

You CAN do it, but I would personaly try to avoid giving camera directions. The idea is to guide the director, but not actually telling. For example (not your case), I would write this:

"JENNA opens the door. She sits on the couch, exhausted. Closes her eyes for a moment and when she opens them again, she realizes

A STRANGE ENVELOPE in on the table."

That way, you usually tell the director to cut to the envelope, but you are not actually telling him how to do his work (LOL). You can "open on eyes" in a variety of ways without giving camera directions, one being ReaperCreeper's example, but there are many ways that depends on your writing style, and they could be all correct. Yours actually is perfectly fine.

On the other hand, LOST started like this (but remember J.J. Abrams directed the pilot AND co-wrote it, so basically he was giving directions for himself):

"A MAN'S EYE

EXTREME CLOSEUP. Open wide. The man's skin wet, speckled with soil and flecks of blood. His breathing CLOSELY MIKED -- erratic. This man's in shock. The SOUNDS of INSECTS and ANIMALS other-worldly. A blink.

Then, the REVERSE ANGLE: staring up hundreds of BAMBOO STALKS. Sunlight almost impenetrable through the dense forest."

Hope that helps!