In my feature 'FURY', the Dark Christ uses Latin phrases, should I use dual dialogue to show the translation or leave it as a mystery for the reader/viewer not to know what it means and accept it?

I don't want to have subtitles, I'd like the reader/viewer have to figure out what he's saying and what he's doing.

Here's a bit of my opening scene, I'm revising the whole script.



FADE IN:

EXT. GRAVEYARD - NIGHT

Puddles of mud ripple as rain splashes down on, LEAH, 27, attractive petite girl with black hair - now drenched in filth.

She shivers as her naked body curls up in the wet sludge.

Muffled CRIES and MOANS come from her gagged mouth, as she lays next to an exhumed grave, tied up and blindfolded.

HEAVY BREATHING and DIGGING escapes from the exhumation and she begins to shift her body from side to side in a frenzy, her face now covered in thick sludge in a result.
She cries out again, this time stronger but to no avail, Leah gives up and lays there, listening.

The digging ceases but the heavy breathing continues to rise, getting heavier and closer.

The rain becomes heavier, smacking against her face, washing away the sludge.
An arm rapidly ascends out of the open grave and grips her filthy hair with a tight fist.
Another hand rapidly surges forward, grasps her arm and begins to drag her towards the exhumed grave.

Leah’s cries come back roaring.

EXT. EXHUMED GRAVE - GRAVEYARD - CONTINUOUS

She crashes to the ground with a THUMP, her body twists and turns as she lays on her side.

The gag is violently ripped away.

LEAH
(Screams)
HELP ME!

The filth and rain runs down her face and into her mouth, she spits out, but then wretches out dark black phlegm.

LEAH (CONT’D)
(crying out)
Please - Please - Please - Let me Go. PLEASE!

The blindfold loosens slowly, her breathing settles down, as she sees the rain pouring down.

LEAH (CONT’D)
I wont tell anyone, I wont...

The blindfold is then stripped away to reveal an eyeless, decomposed corpse staring back at her, side by side.

Leah SCREAMS. She turns and looks up, lightning flashes and lights up the DARK CHRIST, 6 foot 5”, wearing a drenched, long back coat and a decayed mask, made of human flesh.

The Dark Christ kneels down towards Leah, thrusts his left hand above her into the soggy wall of mud and slowly moves closer to her face, Inch by inch, showing his mask in  detail.

Leah howls as she turns her face side to side, looking away. The Dark Christ pulls her hair with his right hand, tightens and forces her head towards the corpse.

Dark Christ
(Deep Voice)
IRAAAA!

Dark Christ
(Translated)
Wrath (Murder)

The decomposed skin smears onto Leah’s face as they touch, She screams pleading.

The Dark Christ pushes her face further. Leah screams as the tip of her nose breaks through the decayed flesh.



Highly Appreicate any help, I'm trying to do mission impossible and get this finished this week and ready for viewing again.

A good suggestion for this is The Lord of The Rings. It has constant use of elvish dialogue, which is sometimes subtitled and sometimes not.

There are two main ways to do it depending on a) how much you want or need to detail in the script and b) whether you actually know the language you need written.

Version 1, dialogue included (from Fellowship of the Ring (page 153, if you are interested):

Elvish; subtitled)
Am meleth dîn. I ant e-guil Arwen
Undómiel ... pelitha.

For her love, I fear the grace of
Arwen Evenstar ... will diminish.

ARAGORN
(in Elvish; subtitled)
Aníron i e broniatha ar periatham
amar hen. Aníron e ciratha a
Valannor.

I would have her leave these shores,
and be with her people. I would have
her take the ship to Valinor.

The other scripts are at:
http://www.fempiror.com/otherscripts/LordoftheRings2-TTT.pdf
and
http://www.fempiror.com/otherscripts/LordoftheRings3-ROTK.pdf

Here's another way to do it just to hit the subtitled translation more specifically. Arguably, it's kind of obvious, but I figured I'd include it. Yes, this is a more conceited example since it's from The Fempiror Chronicles.

ILDRITCH
(low, in Felletterusk;
subtitled)
Ti sil atef esprültärsh runvajav,
kaki anlandi. Erim silnil hav ti
sik.
(translation)
It is a hopeless venture, my
friend. Erim is not what it was.

ZECHARIAH
(in Felletterusk;
subtitled)
Ka stüra tidä tod. Lew stüra
Tepishel pesti anjo yeh crira
vertes.
(translation)
I have to do it. The Tepish must be
exposed before they are allowed to
take over.

Variation 2, actual dialogue not included:
I honestly can't think of an example for this off hand, but I know they're numerous because it takes less work. Goes like this:

BOB
(in Russian, subtitled)
I don't know a word of Russian, yet I can somehow speak it fluently. Why is this, Korokov?

KOROKOV
(in Russian, subtitled)
I believe the writer knew a guy to translate your dialogue for you.

That's all there is to it. Say a language and write it in English. Not too complicated. I used LOTR for the first example because, being a fictional language, it HAD to be written out.

Hope that covers it.

Thanks for that, I might do what you suggested and just use a new parenthetical with the words translation, just for the reader.

Though is it neccasary to let the reader/viewer know what he says in translation, even if its only one or two words? I mean, it isn't a full conversation like in LOTR.

Well, it's important for the actor to know what he's saying. If you don't want it subtitled, don't indicated that it's subtitled. But if you don't want the translation there, you don't have to put it there. If it's a world language, they can figure out what you're saying when they make it. I've done a few instances of Russian profanity where no translation was indicated, but let's face it, you didn't need the translation to get the meaning.

And looking at my post, the board apparently doesn't appreciate non-English characters.