I am currenty working on a script what involves a dream sequence. Can someone check me on this. I have it written as such but not sure if it is correct.  Thank for any help given.
Shawn.....><

INT. THE DAVIS HOME - master bedroom - morning

The morning alarm clock calls in the start of a new day. Kevin taps the clock, rolls over and gives Christi a peck on the temple who moves slightly and moans in approval.

Kevin steps from the bed to find himself on a street corner instantly transformed from a man of prominence to a vagrant.

EXT. BACK ALLEY - DOWNTOWN

As he looks to his tattered clothing and then to his hand, no ring is on his wedding band finger. Filthy, he stands alone.

Kevin looks down to his provisions. A pillow case sits at his feet. A vagrant stands across from him in the alley, (50) wearing a trash bag for a shirt.

VAGRANT

Take a look. After all, it is your life in there.

Kevin looks around panicked.

VAGRANT

Go on, look.

Kevin tips the pillow case over to show the contents. Ashes, nothing but ashes. He continues to pour until the contents are emptied out. Kevin drops to his knees to sift though it.

KEVIN

Is there nothing else in here? Just ashes? What are you trying to say?

VAGRANT

Simple, really.

The vagrant walks towards Kevin.

VAGRANT

It is the fool who stores up treasures for himself. For any day, your soul may be required of you. Take heed Kevin.

The vagrant comes face to face with Kevin. His eyes, That of a goat, black and deep as they pierce into Kevin's. A pair of wings show themselves from behind the vagrants back.

VAGRANT

For your hour may be closer than you think.

INT. THE DAVIS HOME - MASTER BEDROOM - MORNING

Kevin lurches into a sitting position straight up in bed. Sweat coats his body. Christi opens her eyes.

CHRISTI

Honey are you alright?

Hey Shawn,

I find it best to set it up like a montage but use the heading DREAM SEQUENCE or SEQUENCE - KEVIN'S DAYDREAM then end with DREAM ENDS or BACK TO SCENE.  A dream can start mid-scene and include mulitple scenes just like a montage. As long as it's clear when it starts and stops, you have some lee way.

Gary

The way you've written it is fine. After all, it reads like you'd see it on screen. You only need to specify that it's a dream or daydream if there's a real necessity to keep the dream and reality clear. You appear to be blurring the lines, so just showing what's going on works fine.

This is one of those areas where there aren't any real rules. There are some guidelines you can use, but the best way to write anything is to write it as if you're sitting in the audience writing down what you see on screen. I don't recall even Nightmare on Elm Street labeling the dreams for us. It just kicks off when it feels like it.

The only time I would definitively label the dream is if you're making it very obvious. If the dream looks like reality, just roll with it.

Thanks guys,

So this is one of those areas where some guidlines but no real set in stone stuff.

I think that was what was tripping me up a bit. It seemed OK on paper, but this script will be getting entered into a Competition next month, so I didn't want to lose points for it.

Shawn.....><

INT. THE DAVIS HOME - master bedroom - morning

The morning alarm clock calls in the start of a new day. Kevin taps the clock with his left hand, his wedding ring reflects the glow of digital time. He rolls over and gives Christi a peck on the temple who moves slightly and moans in approval.

Kevin steps from the bed and instantly he's...

EXT. BACK ALLEY - DOWNTOWN

...clothed in the filthy rags of a vagrant. He looks to his tattered clothing, then his left hand; no ring.

He stands alone.

Clorox,

I like your take on this. It seems more defined when you put it that way.

Thanks for the input. Would you reverse it, when he snaps back into reality?

Shawn.....><

Given what it is, I would not change the awakening of Kevin. You'd have to be Ray Charles not to follow it, but I might tie the transition more spectacularly. Maybe the winged Vagrant does a snap-flap of his wings just as you cut to an Owl smashing into Kevin's bedroom window or something. The whole wake-in-a-drenched-sweat thing has been done, so you have to trick it out.

If you trick it out, tie the wake up to what happens before Kev goes all vagrant on himself. Tie to the tap of Christi to a look at an open window, and he sighs (gotta go close it, but he doesn't say it). Maybe it's raining and rain is coming in the window. It was a dark and stormy night.

So when Kev bolts awake, and something is at the window, we've been set up for it being open. Like showing his ring before we show it being gone. Set up and pay off. The little things that count. So some winged creature of the night, could be a bat, owl, but something to jolt him for something other than to be jolted awake. Play with it, but tie it all together visually. People like being led around by the nose, but only if they don't know they're being led.

Maybe winged vagrant stuffs a lit cigar in Kev's mouth, (here, Kevin. You just ain't a complete Hobo without...SLAM! The Winger stuffs a cigar in Kev's mouth...This!) and Kev wakes with it burning his face!