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Hi guys. Just wanted to get some feedback on the proper usage of "is" and "are" in my action lines. Should I strive to eliminate them? Personally I think don't it's a big deal but some people have posted on their supposed evil presence.
Thanks
H.S.P Sci Fi, Fantasy - When a splinter group instigates a desperate plot to prevent the extinction of their species at the expense of human life, a jaded Doctor and an FBI double agent is caught in a struggle between their own people and their humanity. 119
DESTROY ALL IS AND ARE!!! DESTROY ALL IS AND ARE!!! IS AND ARE ARE ENEMIES OF THE STATE!!! DESTROY!!! DESTROY!!!
And no, I don't think you need to eliminate them. But most of the time you can cut down on their usage by using more active verbs or more active phrasings.
Hi guys. Just wanted to get some feedback on the proper usage of "is" and "are" in my action lines. Should I strive to eliminate them? Personally I think don't it's a big deal but some people have posted on their supposed evil presence.
Thanks
Learn basic grammar and study screenwriting as a whole without being freaked about what you hear is right and wrong because there's black, there's white and a whole lot of grey/gray.
You need to feel comfortable about what you're writing. For instance, in my work, I might purposefully write it "wrong" by screenwriting standards because I choose to impart a feeling for the director to work with such as in Thief: I had this:
Page 43 - First Draft:
The three of them wind up staring where Darnell is staring, is staring, is staring. That upper right-hand corner of the room has never been so fascinating.
The context is that these guys are getting stoned together and Roddy has fallen off his wagon of sobriety. They've all got mothers that love them no matter what apparently and so a guilty complex is growing underneath all the swearing and drugs.
Here's a little more of the surrounding scene and dialogue to give you a feel:
RODDY Fu-fu-fu-fuck Johnny! Fuck my life! Fu-fu-fuck it all!
DARNELL You taken over by Tourette's?
RODDY No that fucking Johnny if it weren't for his fucking around, I'd still be clean!
Darnell quite calmly says:
DARNELL Not with that filthy mouth Rod, darling. Must you be so foul? What would your mother say?
Jimmy laughs.
JIMMY Actually, his mother was always one to say, "I will love you Roddy Burnside no matter what."
DARNELL It was your mother who said that!
RODDY Actually, my mother did say that.
Darnell looks up to the right portion of the ceiling, staring far off, as if to the moon.
DARNELL Actually, my mother said the same thing!
RODDY See how fucked we are?! And I made this promise to myself and told my mother how I was going to stay clean from now on and now I can't go back to her and lie! Fuck!
Darnell's still staring far off. Silence. **(is still staring) Very bad indeed.
The three of them wind up staring where Darnell is staring, is staring, is staring. That upper right-hand corner of the room has never been so fascinating.
My choice was to ignore "the rules" for a reason in these instances. It dramatized and accentuated the feeling and the focus. It even lengthened the time of the shot, the way I imagined it.
The thing is, a person shouldn't go around breaking rules for the hell of it, but also, don't be paranoid. Be particular instead.
P.S. Often a participle will the "be verbs" denote a continuity of action that is called for, but you need to know when it's called for or not.
For instance:
Wendy is sewing. She sews the same section over and over, mindlessly creating a huge knot.
Now it could be written:
Wendy sews the same section over and over...
But by writing it the first way, you might first imagine a long shot of a woman in a chair and then you notice through a close-up that she isn't getting anywhere.
Now although I didn't write the shots, I am subtly implying it. Especially if someone is watching her from afar and then comes closer. They might even be "thinking it". Thinking that there is poor Wendy: She is sewing again. As if it's something she does compulsively to burn of stress or anger or whatever.
I just really feel that sometimes using the participle form with the "be" form works to create more nuances than what one might think right off the bat.
Again, just be thoughtful and if you're entering a contest, you might want to completely disregard anything I've just said for the time being and just stick to the rules until you feel comfortable otherwise.
The three of them wind up staring where Darnell is staring, is staring, is staring. That upper right-hand corner of the room has never been so fascinating.
I though I got rid of all those repetitious things you did from the draft we put up, but I guess I missed this one
I was told to avoid the word "and' as well... I think that works better too.
You can most certainly use and, just don't use it when you mean then. People can do things simultaneously and that is when you use and. Then when people are doing things sequentially you can use then.
He balances the packages on a single arm and opens the door.
Not to be a literal Larry here, but this kind of a pet peeve of mine. I've read more than a couple of books that refer to this sentiment as well, and it's just kind of not true. Not every sentence, action sequence, or bit of dialouge is created equal. Some are more important than others, and as such, some need to be better written than others. Just my opinion.
well...all I can say is that I get more comments on my scripts being clean, crisp and a fast read since I started to avoid them.
You probably get those comments because your becoming more aware of the language you use - in general - not because you've dropped a word from your vocabulary.
You probably get those comments because your becoming more aware of the language you use - in general - not because you've dropped a word from your vocabulary.
I think Pia gets the comments because of the story and feeling of the story as a whole.
It's the impression I get from the words and not the grammar in your scripts that's the quality for sure, Pia. Although it's important, I think for instance, the feel and tone of St. Mary's was clear from the get-go and that's what gave it that "empty" chilling feel that jumped off the page. Sounds strange that "empty" can jump, but it did.
Not to be a literal Larry here, but this kind of a pet peeve of mine. I've read more than a couple of books that refer to this sentiment as well, and it's just kind of not true. Not every sentence, action sequence, or bit of dialouge is created equal. Some are more important than others, and as such, some need to be better written than others. Just my opinion.
I think you misunderstood what I said. Every word can matter without each word mattering to the same degree. And, as one of the later replies in this thread showed in detail, you can break the rule of thumb on the is/are question if it works for the script.
The way I see it, crisp, clear language is better than not and passive verb use doesn't work in most scripts. Sure, there are exceptions, but the one rule you shouldn't break is "this is the best I can do". Accepting that some sequences or even some sentences can be left alone despite knowing they can be done better is accepting a half-ass product - something really only acceptable when facing a time deadline such as in some of the one-week contests on here.
You can break a lot of the official rules in writing - that's what makes writing in any medium so engrossing. However, a weak scene or weak writing needs to be rewritten or taken out. If any of us intend to go beyond this message board with our scripts, we need to think like a Reader and believe that the scripts we're writing are the best we can do, and let the work reflect that. Even if it means rewriting a less-important sentence to eliminate is/are.
It's about the usage of a word more than the word itself. You don't strive to eliminate words or suffixes from your vocabulary. You strive to eliminate usages of words. For instance, the phrase "Joe is swimming" is discouraged because it is a present progressive tense of the verb to swim. "Joe swims" is more active. "A door is opened" is discouraged because it is a passive sentence. No one opens the door? Wrong. It's a screenplay. If nothing else "Someone opens a door." Now the sentence is active.
To go back to "Joe is swimming," that brings up another popular topic that emerges when these topics come up: words ending in -ing. In this instance, we've already discussed why you would avoid this verbiage: present progressive. The present progressive tense is the prime reason both of these topics come up. Forms of "to be" come up also because of passive usage.
Hence, this thread can be summed up in two avoidances: Use active phrasing. Don't use the present progressive tense.
You cannot summarily outlaw -ing's and "to be"s because they are essential to the makeup of the English language. Many adjectives and even nouns end in -ing. There are phrasings that don't fit the anti-criteria I listed that use -ing. "Joe is married" is completely valid because the word "married" is a description of Joe's state, and can only be linked to his name by "is." It's about awareness of your writing. I would hesitate to say use fewer words because that may or may not be possible in order to succinctly get your point across. You not only want to be efficient, but you want to be understood. Don't eliminate words for the sake of elimination.
At its core, screenwriting has one rule: be clear. You have to clearly communicate your idea to someone else so they can make the movie. If that means using -ing words and "to be" verbiages is the way to do it, then do it. this isn't higher art. This isn't novel writing. This isn't Shakespeare. It's about clarity. Don't sacrifice clarity because you want to trim a word or two. It isn't worth it.
Sure, there are exceptions, but the one rule you shouldn't break is "this is the best I can do". Accepting that some sequences or even some sentences can be left alone despite knowing they can be done better is accepting a half-ass product - something really only acceptable when facing a time deadline such as in some of the one-week contests on here.
I just think that when people say that "every word in a screeplay matters", it kind of turns into a cliche.
That said, I agree wholeheartedly with what you say above.
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"IS" and "ARE" are we supposed to eliminate them?
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