All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Describing my character's first appearance has always been one of my weak spots. I was wondering if people would be interested in adding a character or two, describing him/her and thus create a laundry list of assorted characters.
Example:
EXT. FARM - DAY
JOHN BOONE, 40's, a rugged-built man's man, chops wood with a two-edged axe.
If done properly, you can absolutely conjure the character into life before they've even started, and then their actions will hopefully reinforce that initial impression. Or maybe you want to give the wrong first impression, so that your audience will be surprised when he / her turns out to be different? Either way, I think a strong introduction of a (primary) character is vital. You're introducing them to the reader, after all.
As I've quoted before, one of my favourite initial character descriptions comes from Children of Men.
A man enters the coffee shop, making his way through the people: THEO FARON (55). Detached, unkempt, scruffy beard, glasses. Theo is a veteran of hopelessness. He gave up before the world did.
And a couple from my own scripts:
- Standing directly in front of the doorway is DOUGLAS HAINES. 60, greying hair, heavily built, wearing a crumpled suit. The Prime Minister -- for now.
- Charlie spins round. Walking slowly up the path is MARIA, 19, wearing fashionable clothes and a smile, as pretty and friendly as ever.
I know some people think all of that is unnecessary, distracting information, but I think the opportunity to properly introduce a character is one you should seize. Don't give a life history, and (pet peeve here) don't describe every single item of clothing unless you feel it reveals something about them - eg. in my examples the crumpled suit, or the fashionable clothes on Maria both hopefully hint at something about their wider characters, whereas if I'd said "DOUGLAS HAINES, 60, greying hair, heavily built, wearing a grey suit, white shirt, black shoes, and tie", or "MARIA, 19, wearing a green dress with a belt around the middle, leggings and pumps", that doesn't give you anything. It's all aboout the carefully-chosen, evocative adjective, really.
Anyway, digression over...
Just try to capture them in a brush-stroke, and then reinforce (or deliberately conflict) this first impression through their actions.
JOHN BOONE, 40's, a rugged-built man's man, chops wood with a two-edged axe.
You have got two types of characters to consider, S.R. -- that is, your leads and your supporting.
I am of the opinion that every character needs at least a little something to distinguish them, even if it is only a single word, such as short, or Asian, or a cop, or whatever. Often, this is enough. What you have above it fine.
For a lead, you need a little more. Your script will have a tone, and your lead characters need to fit seamlessly into the world you have created.
As much as a full paragraph is justified to introduce a lead, but probably not much more, and what you have above is not adequate for a leading role.
You need to give the actors a little something to work with, and in the rare instance of introducing leads, I do not even mind a little "unfilmable" action, if it is done right -- acknowledging that yes, of course, it can also be done quite wrong.
Riding shotgun is DANI MORROWS (early 30s). Gentle, thoughtful, the kind of pretty which doesn't require make up.
SGT. "IRON MIKE" HONIGS (45) browses a pulp novel. So low key you'd wonder if he had a pulse, but piss him off, you'd best be in another zip code.
His name is JOE LANGE (3, honest, hard working -- a good man.
Dani's FATHER stands in her doorway. A once handsome, healthy man gone to alcoholic seed -- a life with potential sidetracked an unwelcome pregnancy and an unwanted marriage.
Ideally, you're supposed to give us more the character's essence than what he/she looks like in detail (unless it's a detail which comes into play in the course of your story). Give us an idea of who they are, not if they brush their teeth up and down or in circles. You get the point.
A lot of these are really good. I read a lot of those in scripts. Trouble is, what the character does later in the script more often than not do not fit their initial descriptions...
Yeah, I'm guessing a few of us have this type of prob - I know I just sort of put: age, hair colour, build and height - maybe that explains why some readers fiind some of my characters similair.
But my new scripts I've changed my writing style and using more flair, more oomph! Well, trying... A character in my POW horror is the Nazi commandant. He's introduced like this:
'Colonel OTTO KAULBARTSCH... he's about forty, a paid up Nazi - haughty, ruthless.'
I love some of the examples put forward by the SS crew - some nice visual stuff there
Describing my character's first appearance has always been one of my weak spots. I was wondering if people would be interested in adding a character or two, describing him/her and thus create a laundry list of assorted characters.
Example:
EXT. FARM - DAY
JOHN BOONE, 40's, a rugged-built man's man, chops wood with a two-edged axe.
Crap, he's back. Now my PM box is gonna start blowing up again.
I've never described characters unless its absolutely essential to know their physical traits because it pertains to story. I often just say "SANDY, 26, sits alone at a table."
Nobody's ever complained about that in my scripts. After all, if writing for the screen, how do we know who will be casted? It's not like the producers run around and try to find an actor similar to how you described them, unless it pertains to story.
Dani's FATHER stands in her doorway. A once handsome, healthy man gone to alcoholic seed -- a life with potential sidetracked an unwelcome pregnancy and an unwanted marriage.
Sorry Lon, I would absolutely put your script down if I read that. You just told us his whole life story, whereas the audience only sees a scruffy man in a doorway.
Crap, he's back. Now my PM box is gonna start blowing up again.
I've never described characters unless its absolutely essential to know their physical traits because it pertains to story. I often just say "SANDY, 26, sits alone at a table."
Nobody's ever complained about that in my scripts. After all, if writing for the screen, how do we know who will be casted? It's not like the producers run around and try to find an actor similar to how you described them, unless it pertains to story.
Just my humble opinion.
Sorry Lon, I would absolutely put your script down if I read that. You just told us his whole life story, whereas the audience only sees a scruffy man in a doorway.
Let the battle of unfilmables... Begin!
James
I'm not so experienced, but I have to agree. The point here in your argument is:
Its relevance.
Because in the January OWC thread, I was mentioning a parody of Voldemort, I've got Harry Potter on my mind and Harry's scar for instance, is important. It has everything to do with the story; so, in short, if it's relevant, then it's good. You just need to understand whether or not it matters. It might even be a good starting point for a writer. Asking, "Why did I imagine it this way? Does it matter? How so?" Good writing stuff.
After all, if writing for the screen, how do we know who will be casted? It's not like the producers run around and try to find an actor similar to how you described them, unless it pertains to story.
Yes, I'll have to agree here as well... especially when it comes to my Pro and Antag in my features I try to keep the descriptions general but interesting.
If you're not writing for the screen, then do it your way. but...
I've never seen the need to put the color of their eyes, hair, HT, WT, ect... because in the end, they'll decide who gets the role... not the writer unless you're famous. And even that isn't a gimmie.
Welcome back Screenrider... I thought you died and went to heaven.
Just learned recently with my production partners for Finders Keepers that the character descriptions is quite important. They are not screenwriters and somehow they seem to be looking at things a little differently than I'm used to. To them the character intros were very important along with the characters actually acting the way they were introduced.
And to those who think it's up to the production team to decide what the characters should be like....well, like I said they are part of the production team and to them it was VERY important how they were introduced. You never know in this business is all I can say.
Just learned recently with my production partners for Finders Keepers that the character descriptions is quite important. They are not screenwriters and somehow they seem to be looking at things a little differently than I'm used to. To them the character intros were very important along with the characters actually acting the way they were introduced.
And to those who think it's up to the production team to decide what the characters should be like....well, like I said they are part of the production team and to them it was VERY important how they were introduced. You never know in this business is all I can say.
Yul Brynner...
It's true. Black + White = Gray/Grey
Like mentioned before:
They're important to the extent of their relevance.
I imagine that Joe Pizza Delivery Guy who rings six times and kicks the bottom of the door once is important if he's been shown to do this as a kid in the opening scene ringing the door of his best friend.
So, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, kick and whatever his descriptors are give us that subtle hammer on the head that this guy is important. And, a little weird.
The more weight we give to descriptors, we should be implying, that this guy or gal is somewhat important. Likewise, if we want to "slowly" introduce a character, and create that, well, "slow reveal", then it's good storytelling to introduce sparingly and not hit anyone over the head. This is like in those old movies where you see just a guy's feet. Of course, as the writer, you're only going to introduce "the feet" with a hint. An aside, or something, but you're not going to give it all away.
Pages: 1, 
Author
Character Descriptions
Logged
, honest, hard working -- a good man.
Locked Board