Hello again Ladies and Gerbils,

Help the idiot time once more:

When you come to a part in a script where you're going to a new location, what's the proper way or accepted way of writing it?

I'm not sure how to phrase the question correctly, so I'll give an example from a script of mine:

Quoted Text Alex unlocks the front door and steps into... INT. HALL, ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS ...the hall of a pleasantly decorated home where heï¿¿s met by the maid, MARJORIE. Sheï¿¿s a middle-aged woman, looks like someone you could trust.

I have a tendency to repeat the location in the action line as you can see above, but I struggle to avoid it. The Scene Headings always feel like a necessary part of the script from a production point of view, rather than something you actually read, I suppose that's where my problem comes from.

So how should you really write it?

Just delete "The hall of a pleasantly decorated home"? As simple as that? Or are their better, more creative ways?

Cheers, Rick

Alex unlocks the front door,

INT. HOUSE - DAY

Alex enters.  He's met in the hallway by MAJORIE (50s), the maid.   She brandishes a feather duster.

(I dunno.  Less is always more, IMO)

Good luck.

As long as it's easy to read and CLEAR ...that is the key. I have seen it done so many ways. Do not play around with 'cool' versions you see if your writing can't back it up though!

Well, I'm no expert and I have absolutely no idea if there's a specific "how you should write it" for this scenario. Seems unlikely, after all this is simply down to your own style in writing action lines. But my thoughts and how I'd possibly approach this to avoid the repetition:

I certainly wouldn't cut the description of the house solely because of the repetition of the slug. It can actually be important to the characters and story, too big of a loss over this. Here's what I came up with, keeping both the description and without repeating the slug:

I think the ... is largely what makes this an issue. I'd work around using it.

Quoted Text Alex unlocks the front door and steps in. INT. HALL, ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS Pleasant decorations adorn the design. A middle-aged maid with a trustworthy face, MARJORIE, greets him.

The ... seems to be most effective with mini-slugs.

Quoted Text He walks into the... KITCHEN Heads towards the sink and grabs himself a glass of water.

If you're at a slug that necessarily requires a base location (English suburban house here) or an INT./EXT. it starts to sound clunky and it becomes difficult to get a good action line without repeating the slug.

Tried the one I came up with without repeating the house, but I don't see any harm in repeating that - Sure it's in the slug, but who cares. It's hard to set up this kind of a sentence without the house and it doesn't in any way kill the flow. It also specifies whether you just meant the room or the entire house. So these two for example would work too:

Quoted Text Alex unlocks the front door and steps in. INT. HALL, ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS The house is pleasantly decorated. A middle-aged maid with a trustworthy face, MARJORIE, greets him.

or if you mean the hall:

Quoted Text Alex unlocks the front door and steps in. INT. HALL, ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS The hall is pleasantly decorated. A middle-aged maid with a trustworthy face, MARJORIE, greets him.

If the focus needs to just be on the room, I believe in your example it's supposed to describe the design of the entire house.

Here the repetition could also be bypassed with:

Quoted Text Alex unlocks the front door and steps in. INT. HALL, ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - CONTINUOUS The room is pleasantly decorated. A middle-aged maid with a trustworthy face, MARJORIE, greets him.

I think it's also about how the repetition of the slug is done. Describing a room is more harmless than what you'd consider an actual error:

Quoted Text INT. KITCHEN - DAY They sit in the kitchen behind the table.

I think if you get rid of using the ... it should work better.

Rick, first of all, in your Slugs, you want to go from biggest to smallest, not the reverse.  So, just for starters, it would be "ENGLISH SUBURBAN HOUSE - FRONT HALL".

This is because you may have several "FRONT HALL", "BATHROOM", or KITCHEN" locations in your script, and you want to first identify exactly which structure you're in.

There is never a reason to repeast the Slug in the line that follows.  NEVER.

The very simple problem you may be up against here is the fact that you're choosing to show very mundane, assumed actions - in this case, Alex unlocking a door and stepping inside.  Is it necessary?  Is it preferred?  No, in both cases, IMO.

We rarely need or even want to see these things unless there's a reason or they will be important in some way.

For instance, when someone gets in a car, they're going to have to get in, adjust their mirrors, put their seat belt on, insert the key in the ignition, turn the key, put the car in gear, etc.  Do we need to see all this?  Do we already know this will all happen, hopefully OS? Yeah.

What usually happens?  The guy walks up to the car and the next scene, he's cruising along.

Same deal with opening and shutting doors - unless it's exciting, scary, or important, move forward.

Hope that helps.

Good advice, all.

Very good.

Been a big help.