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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Implying Silence Moderators: George Willson
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Ares
Posted: August 17th, 2017, 11:44pm Report to Moderator
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So... I am writing a short.

In said short, I try to write a Flashback, witch I envision to be either silent or having only faint sounds, except for the really important parts.

For example, I have a scene where three people talk, but we do not hear what they say. It is important for Lyricism purposes, because I want the reader/viewer to imagine what they are talking about and identify with them.

So far I have approached it by writing everything in action, without capitalizing sounds that I don't want to be audible.

For example: "Jim, John and Jack talk excitedly as they drink their drinks".

Should I add that "We do not hear what they say"?
Maybe a note that the whole thing is silent?

I think that I written it the right way, but then again I do not know the spec standards for this kind of stuff.  



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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 18th, 2017, 2:37am Report to Moderator
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If it is clear and understandable then you've done it correctly. Most screenwriters seem to think producers and the like are stupid. That everything needs to be simple or they just won't get it. I prefer the opposite approach. I write how I want to.
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BenL
Posted: August 19th, 2017, 9:38am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
If it is clear and understandable then you've done it correctly. Most screenwriters seem to think producers and the like are stupid. That everything needs to be simple or they just won't get it. I prefer the opposite approach. I write how I want to.


This!

I've spent years trying to perfect my writing with all these "rules"... Result: Didn't finish one fucking script. So I said to myself: "Fuck it".

Now I just write whatever I think is good. End of story.
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Bogey
Posted: August 19th, 2017, 10:07am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Ares


Should I add that "We do not hear what they say"?
Maybe a note that the whole thing is silent?



Just describe it like you would describe anything else. Don't mention what we don't hear or see - just what we hear and see. If you describe them talking, but there's no dialogue, the reader will figure it out.

"Jim, John and Jack, excited, chatter as they enjoy their drinks."
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eldave1
Posted: August 19th, 2017, 10:19am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Bogey


Just describe it like you would describe anything else. Don't mention what we don't hear or see - just what we hear and see. If you describe them talking, but there's no dialogue, the reader will figure it out.

"Jim, John and Jack, excited, chatter as they enjoy their drinks."


That certainly would do it. Anything clear is fine.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Ares
Posted: August 29th, 2017, 11:36pm Report to Moderator
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BenLewis,
I get your point, but following the smaller rules lets you get away with breaking the bigger ones.

eldave1, Bogey,
THANK YOU!!! I did exactly that.
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MatthewW
Posted: October 18th, 2017, 8:08am Report to Moderator
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i would maybe say:

Jim, John and Jack talk over drinks, their chatter drowned out by the noisy bar.

ON JIM

JIM
--But why, it makes no sense.

JACK
It's not meant to!

etc etc

also, I'd avoid having more than two characters names with the same first letter - three one syllable names starting with J will get confusing, unless its a plot device or a joke.
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