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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Rick and Morty - Wanted Rickward Moderators: bert
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  Author    Rick and Morty - Wanted Rickward  (currently 535 views)
Don
Posted: April 15th, 2018, 3:43pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Rick and Morty - Wanted Rickward by Javier Torregrosa - Series, Comedy, Sci Fi - Rick becomes a wanted man getting chased whilst he's trying to close a deal, Summer zombifies her school.  When Rick returns he reluctantly saves the day. 23 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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AustinT
Posted: April 19th, 2018, 7:47pm Report to Moderator
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Hey there, Javier!

I friggin' LOVE Rick and Morty and I took a look at a few pages of your script.

I think you captured the voices of the characters very well. So far I'm enjoying the story.

There is a technical error that's a simple fix. Its on page one.

You have the slugline:

INT. ALIEN BAR - NIGHT

And then you go straight to a character line and dialogue.

Basic rule, always have an action break between sluglines and dialogue. Again, this is an easy fix, just put a character description of the BARMAN first.

Simple.

Anyways, I'm going to keep reading it later on but so far, good job!
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