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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Rick and Morty presents The Rick and Jay Show Moderators: bert
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  Author    Rick and Morty presents The Rick and Jay Show  (currently 146 views)
Don
Posted: July 8th, 2018, 2:27pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Rick and Morty presents The Rick and Jay Show by JourneyJay - Series, Comedy - JourneyJay from The JourneyJay Show meets Rick and Morty! 20 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky

Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  August 31st, 2018, 2:44pm
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khamanna
Posted: July 8th, 2018, 3:06pm Report to Moderator
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Hi, JourneyJay

Your script is not reader-friendly formatted this way.

Treat it as if it's a feature or a short, I'd say.

Here's another Rick and Morty episode for you:'
http://www.zen134237.zen.co.uk/Rick_and_Morty/Rick_and_Morty_1x02_-_Lawnmower_Dog.pdf

something to look at when your reformat yours if you decide to do so)
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jayrex
Posted: July 9th, 2018, 12:15pm Report to Moderator
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Cut to three weeks earlier

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I've read the first act.

First things first, get scriptwriting software.  So that everything is aligned correctly.

No need for time stamps.  Your one minute mark and 1min 30secs mark are very close together.

Get rid of pages 2 & 3.

If 'Show Rick' is our C-137 Rick, then just write Rick.

Introduce all characters in capitals.

If you're going to have characters in different scenes/places, then write the slug.

Also slugs are structured Internal/external - Place - time of day

So Elegant shouldn't be there.

I got the gist of the story from the first act.  It could do with more detail.

I may have got this wrong. But it seems at the end of act one you try to change the traditional intro. I wouldn't do this.

All the best.


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JourneyJay
Posted: July 16th, 2018, 8:24pm Report to Moderator
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It WAS on my to do list.

Doing casting, direction, production, and writing for a number of projects right now. This was exported from docs instead of SR software.

Sorry, so sorry.

I'll be honest, it was so far away from my mind I forgot about the poor quality of the design. I just needed to get it timestamped so I uploaded it.
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