This was a fun script to read. It was entertaining and gruesome; and if this gets made into a movie and people see it; they'll be scared.

Great script.

J.P.S.

Hey James,

I was looking over my comments and I hope they don’t sound too negative. Because, as a fun read, it did succeed. Everyone else seems to have found it a little more solid than I did but I did enjoy it nonetheless.

Thanks for the reads, guys.

Breanne...

I don't think your comments sound negative and even if they were, it wouldn't bother me because you back up everything you say. Besides, I'd rather have someone be honest in reviewing my script than tell me it's great when it's not.

In regards to what you've said about Henry's character, under other circumstances I would likely agree with you but here, I don't. Henry's character isn't supposed to be likeable at all. I gave him a philosophy for what he does but other than that, I didn't intend for people to identify, let alone simpathize, with him. He's not supposed to be a character the audience cares for but rather one the audience wants to see, not so much tortured, but learn his lesson. Of course, I wouldn't want anyone to be tortured for this in real life but this is a script. I can do whatever I want to characters without any real life consequence. That's kind of the fun of the genre, you know?

Thanks again for the read.

Holy fuck. Lets all agree never to piss of James . I liked this. It was funny it that freaky Newgrounds.com kinda way. Did you ever meet a guy who did this? Good read. Congrats!

P.S. It reminded me of Saw but it didnt feel like you ripped it off. You hit it right on the mark!

Gave this a quick read, so I hope I'm being accurate in the areas I'm discussing.

SPOILERS:

First, very interesting.  I like the tone and the feel of the story.  I thought Movie Dude was very intriguing.
I didn't care much for Henry, though.  I thought he played out flat, a jerk.  Maybe if he changed by the story's end, I might have felt more for him.  He should either be deftly afraid of going back to a theater, especially ALONE.  But if when he does return to the theater, he's there to warn other hecklers, or maybe he's determined to catch the Movie Dude and exact his own revenge.

Somebody mentioned Henry should do more heckling early on.  Maybe he should really go over the top.  And I think the old man should come up to him and cuss him out, rather than praise him.  This would inject more tension, too.   You have an opportunity for an interesting exchange of movie etiquette.

As I read the story, a chilling thought went through my pea brain.  I could see Henry (maybe he should sit up in the balcony, front row where he can hug the railing) heckling and having a good time.  When you mentioned the  ominous figure sitting way back, unter the projectionist, I thought it was the killer the scream film that is showing.  I thought that the creepy film killer had stepped out of the movie and was watching Henry belittle his movie.

Maybe the film breaks and there is a short delay.  When the movie returns the killer isn't in the last scene anymore.  that's because he's behind Henry.

What if all of the torture administered by Movie Dude reflected what Henry was heckling?  Like if Henry said, "Chop off her thumb, and cut off her ear for the hell of it."  then Henry gets the same treatment later.  This could be really weird if we hear Henry yell, "And poke out his eyes."  Because we would then know whta's coming.

I didn't like the last heckler, who was kicked out and then beat up outside of the theater.  Nor the parents who were getting tortued over their brat kid.

To me it would have been a more chilling ending if Movie Dude called Herny later, and we can hear the other heckler begging for his life.  this lays a foundation for Henry being the impetus for the Movie Dude's actions.  Maybe it's up to Henry to take action.  If he doesn't, he'll goinsane from every phone call he gets from Movie Dude.

The one thing you've really succeeded on for me is hitting a nerve.  Now I'm thinking all kinds of weird, creepy thoughts.  You know, "what was that noise in the other room?" kind of creepiness.  Movie Dude gets my vote.
I'm not going to say a bad word this weekend at the movies.
I'm eating Junior Mints and staying clear of the popcorn.

Hey Jimmy.

I found this one entertaining. It was fairly straight forward but it kept me interested through out and I didn't think it lagged at any stage.

I liked the way Henry deconstructed the movie whilst watching it, his ability to do that gave him a little more cred than some jackass who just talks but says nothing. Also, having a story about a guy who doesn't shut up in the movies is a great set up for drama and it's the type of everyday drama  people can relate to.

Whilst I actually thought Henry was a likeable character, I'm glad he got sorted out because I'd hate him in real life.

In, fact I once started throwing jaffas (hard candy) at the heads of some people who wouldn't stop heckling during a movie.

But I digress.

I also liked the fact that the cinema employees liked Henry and took his side in the conflicts with the other patrons, as they would've viewed him as someone who livened up an otherwise mundane job.

I see some people have already mentioned typos, so I won't repeat the ones that have  been mentioned. However, there was one on page 12, when Movie Dude said 'If hope it doesn't come to that"

Anyway this was an enjoyable read.

Are you planning to rewrite this or make a short film out of it?      

Good story and pace, the story and characters keep their tone throughout.  Well done for a short.  Just a few thoughts and suggestions.

What if the Usher was a friend of Henry's?  Would explain why he doesn't also shoot Henry out, as it appears Henry is a regular.  Or maybe Henry slips the Usher five bucks?  Because really Henry should have been kicked out to for being loud.

I'd show the Old Man laughing while Henry is heckling in the moment when the Old Man talks to Henry after the show is better set-up.

I don't know that I buy Henry just going with Movie Dude.  Does Movie Dude have to sell Henry a ticket?  Can Movie Dude just say he's a filmmaker and wants Henry's opinion on his film, seeing as Henry is a connoisseur and all?

Random thought:  What if Movie Dude is the director of Hack and Slash Three?

Random thought:  What if Movie Dude buys a ticket directly before for after Henry, so we see him right from the first scene?  This would introduce the antag to us even if we didn't know it at the time.

Random thought:  What if Henry was kicked out of film school so now he hecklers movies (he started out life wanting to make them)?

Henry is a little to coherent when Movie Dude slices off his finger, I'd like to see his dialog be a bit more choppy and rough.

What if Henry vomits when Movie Dude force feeds him the popcorn with the finger bits?

Interesting ending.

Hey James, I never even heard of this one, must have been one of your first scripts you posted here.  I thought it was a pretty cool story, I think we all know what it's like to be in a theater and have to listen to some douche yakin' at the screen, so it was a lot of fun to see him get his up-comings.  The part with the apple in the mouth reminded me of a fish called wanda for some reason....LOL.  I thought the story flowed pretty well, I think the only part that didn't work for me was the one year later with Henry back at the cinema, I guess you put that in there cuz you wanted to show that Henry had changed, but I don't think that you really needed it, but the part with the parents was gold.  I freakin hate it when people bring their little bundles of noise with them to the cinema, I'm glad they get whats coming as well.  All in all this was a pretty decent short, I actually think this would be a fun script for a film student to do.  Good work.