SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is October 21st, 2018, 12:46pm
Please login or register.
Was PortalRecent PostsHome Help Calendar Search Register Login

If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
The Scripts of the October OWC

The Night Gallery 7 Week Challenge

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Charlotte and The Camel's Toe Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print
  Author    Charlotte and The Camel's Toe  (currently 2095 views)
Don
Posted: May 1st, 2006, 10:21pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
12528
Posts Per Day
1.93
Charlotte and The Camel's Toe by Helio J Cordeiro - Short - Agadir, in Morocco will be small to hold together a sensual secret agent, a Nazi officer, an unscrupulous mercenary and Bedouins all fighting in order to catch a powerful amulet. 16 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
tomson
Posted: May 1st, 2006, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Helio,

I�ve told you before that you are my favorite quirky writer here, well I might just bump you up to funny as well.

I�ll be honest with you and tell you that I had my reservations after reading the title, but someone told me I should read this and I�m glad I did.

Yeah, there were a couple of moments where the language got stronger than I�m used to from you and I would probably like to see that  toned down. Everyone else here, would prolly think it�s just fine, but I�m the conservative sort so��.

Really, really good job Helio!!

Revision History (1 edits)
tomson  -  May 13th, 2006, 12:44pm
Logged
e-mail Reply: 1 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 2nd, 2006, 9:05am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
First of all Id like to thanks Kevan R Craft for help me to make this script more understandable and an easy English reading.

Tomson, kid, I love when you talk about work sincere and direct. Im sorry about some type of words they are part of our daily vocabulary around there. My work was made to everybody in every age and quirkiness is my nature. I didnt mean to be disrespectable with anyone. Anyway thanks once more, kid!

PS There were two comments from Tomson what happen with the other?!!! Strange!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 16
tomson
Posted: May 2nd, 2006, 12:12pm Report to Moderator
Guest User




Quoted from Helio
Im sorry about some type of words they are part of our daily vocabulary around there. My work was made to everybody in every age and quirkiness is my nature. I didnt mean to be disrespectable with anyone.


Helio,
I wasn't refering to dialogue. I know some people curse a lot when speaking, but you used a** and c*** in your descriptions. I'd say that's a no, no.

Logged
e-mail Reply: 3 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 2nd, 2006, 12:20pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
The world is made of zillons of a**** and C**** and short distance between them!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 4 - 16
James McClung
Posted: May 2nd, 2006, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Washington, D.C.
Posts
3374
Posts Per Day
0.70
Haha! This was very bizzare but amusing. I got a kick out of the fact that the phrase "camel's toe" more often than not actually referred to, well, a camel's toe and not "the other thing" as is to be expected. I enjoyed the twist as well. I think there was a little too much a** and c*** in the action lines (the phrase "his ass sticks up in the air" sounds a lot like "we see her ass in the moonlight," which isn't a similarity you want in your script if you know what I mean). You do have a knack for this kind of thing but it still doesn't sound very good. Also, the Arabic exclaimations were a little weird. I can see they mean something but it would help to have some expressions or actions from their speakers that would give some idea of what they mean. Other than that, good job. Keep up the quirky stuff (or not, it's your choice ).


Logged
Private Message Reply: 5 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 2nd, 2006, 10:07pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
James, thanks you for commets! It is a just pure exercise and interment. I'm sorry!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 16
Shelton
Posted: May 3rd, 2006, 9:37pm Report to Moderator
Moderator



Location
Chicago
Posts
3643
Posts Per Day
0.76
Ok, seriously, what genre is this supposed to be?

I'm totally lost here.


Shelton's Website

Shelton's IMDb Profile

"I think I did pretty well, considering I started out with nothing but a bunch of blank paper." - Steve Martin
Logged Offline
Site Private Message AIM Reply: 7 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 4th, 2006, 6:09am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
Could be a Short AdventureSpicyComedy, Mike?
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 11th, 2006, 8:05pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
The life of Camel's Toe seems to be very short. It is going to the botton the board line and as soon as it will go to the limbo. A pit! Bye Charlotte...Hey, hey rest yet a hope!!! The light at the tunnel's end!!! Hey guys how about a sequel:

"Charlotte and the false wizard's sleeve"
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 16
Zombie Sean
Posted: May 29th, 2006, 3:15pm Report to Moderator
Yellow


A boozer, a user, and a two-time loser

Location
Anywhere there's a zombie...
Posts
1464
Posts Per Day
0.31
Haha Helio, wow I've never seen this side of you before (or I probably have I just don't remember). So a lot of people got horny in your script, eh?

Interesting story with a good twist at the end. I liked it and I laughed at a lot of parts.

Sean


MY WEBSITE

CLICK A POSTER
Logged
Private Message Reply: 10 - 16
Helio
Posted: May 30th, 2006, 9:56am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
Haha, neither have I Sean! It is because you did not read "Meanwhile in a kingdom far, far, away" yet that was introductory in this type of story.

Let's say one thing: when you laugh writing your own story it is good signal that you are happy with your work and on the right way.

thanks a lot, dude!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 11 - 16
SkyBlueHue
Posted: June 10th, 2007, 5:50pm Report to Moderator
Red



Posts
17
Posts Per Day
0.00
After reading your other script("Kowabunga"), I have to say this one was much more enjoyable. It had its funny parts and the randomness(lol) kept the story interesting. Yeah, bizarre and quirky is a good way to describe this. Although I prefer drama-ish scripts, this one was fun enough to keep me interested. =P


Visitor G - (Short/Drama, 27 pgs, pdf) - A man is kidnapped by someone who knows too much about him.

Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 12 - 16
Helio
Posted: June 11th, 2007, 7:33am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Better to die with vodka than with tedium!

Posts
1344
Posts Per Day
0.28
Hey SkyBlueHue, thanks a lot for your reading, dude!

Yeah for some here it is my type of script, but to many others it is a type of crap I do best! Ha-ha!

Of course I'll read in exange your 15 pages posted in My Work In Progress, just g'me a time okay!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 13 - 16
EBurke73
Posted: June 11th, 2007, 10:25pm Report to Moderator
Purple



Posts
130
Posts Per Day
0.03
Weird, weird story that seemed to slolom between being in the time and using more modern speech.  Still, it's a fun piece of work and the ending does tie everything together very well.  I agree that using a** in the decriptions kind of...cheapens the festivities.  But I can be a bit of a prude at times.


It's the trial of the minute

Houseboy - The Time We Were on Trial

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1188312962/

Now available:Houseboy: The Series
The girls of Sigma Kappa Pi have a secret...
http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-series/m-1197232302/
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 14 - 16
 Pages: 1, 2 » : All
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006