Certainly appreciate all the comments. This was originally part of a longer script that I recently whittled down. In the longer version, the costuming of Deb played a more important role in her character, hence the reason for an initial detailed description of how she was dressed. It was left in the shortened version so that in the opening scene, Deb was presented as somebody who was cute and perky and certainly not the type you, as a viewer, would initially think capable of doing any harm to another lady.

This script is purposely short and simple to entice more people to consider doing it.

As for Deb's motivation, I once did a line in a script where the victim was desperately asking her captors the question, "Why are you doing this?"
Their answer, "Because we're psycho's lady. It's like--what we do." That concept is all a girl like Deb needs to act.

Hey, Deb's reason was simple. Her anger management counselor told her to "get a hobby."

And admittedly, in the end, I just like stories where a totally clueless, everyday innocent girl, gets herself into big time trouble at the hands of a demented femme fatale. I like fashions too. I think too many films don't exploit this and yes, I meant to say "exploit."  To me, there's a world of viewing difference if the femme victims and victimizers are dressed in something other than jeans, a t-shirt and flip flop sandals. Look at it this way. With slapstick comedy, it is far more of a treat to get to see a person hit in the face with a pie or shoved in the mud, if they are wearing a tux or a fancy evening gown.

So much for now.

Tori

And hey superdrew...if you really want to do this, give me a line at torijaymes@yahoo.com
  

I was talking about the original and the original only. You can incorpate the sequels into it if you want (I for one enjoyed them) but the original story will always be there: Michael was crazy. He stabbed his sister, grew up and killed some baby sitters. That's it.

If you watch the original alone, will it feel incomplete? No, it's fine the way it is. The sequels are a fun extra plus.

But we're getting off-hand here. I wouldn't be surprised if this couple of posts are deleted. We should focus on the script here.


--Julio

Wow. I liked this one. I actually hope to be a Director one day (as does everyone else) an I could actually see how this could be played out, scene for scene. To be brutally honest, I thought the dialogue was cliched and sparse. Our victim doesn't get any play! But, I guess it was told through "The Deb's" Perspective (I'm calling her "The Deb" now) so never mind. Anyhoodles, If there were more story and more original dialogue, I think it'd be the best. (Please don't hate me, because I'm no expert and I've written some pretty horrendous stuff that should be kept out of sunlight, but it's just my humble opinion!)

Actually I do have a longer version of this but I wanted to present someting that could be done as an ultra short piece to interest someone who didn't want a longer bit of work to do.

I thought your dialogue was really entertaining and humorous at times. As for the concept, it’s a slasher short with S&M overtones and very little in the way of plot development or three dimensional characters. I did enjoy Deb though; I wouldn’t want to go on a date with her!

    A little bit of news is in order. The GOOD THERAPY script is being done in late May by an individual in San Franciso so hopefully we will get to see how this transitions from paper to screen.

Wow, congragulations Tori. I can't wait to see the final product!

So, I saw this in the portal and noticed your post saying it's being produced, so I figured I'd give it a read.  Also nice to see a fellow Chicagoan hanging around.

There's seems to be a few torture scripts popping up lately, and they seem to be getting produced.  I can't really understand what the appeal is, but I can't really knock it since I've had one of my scripts that contained a torture scene produced.  

The thing I notice in these recent ones though, is that there really isn't too much of a prevalent motive here.  Deb needs to find a hobby, so to speak, and this is what she chooses to do.  Okay, so she's crazy, this much is obvious.  But why not go a little deeper into why she's that way and why she chooses to do this?  Often times, there's a lot of room for some character development in these stories, and at only 5 pages you definitely have it.

I think the dialogue got better as the story progressed.  I didn't care too much for it in the beginning when they first get to the apartment, but near the end it felt a little more natural.

Overall, it is what it is, a torture story.  I will commend you on not going overboard in that regard though.  Numerous times I see where the story completely relies on the methods of torture, as if it were the only thing that was really thought out and everything around it is just filler.

Anyway, a decent effort, and it should make a decent film.