Jahon,

Returning the read.  Ironic, I have a feature with the same title, but unfortunately I think I'll have to change it.  Your visuals were pretty good, a bit long for sure. The Crow was a nice touch.  This is a short, so I didn't have a problem not being able to identify with your characters, but for your features, I think it's important that the audience be able to with atleast one of them.  JMHO.

But for me, this piece was just too predictable, but I'm pretty sure that's what you were going for... but a little twist never hurts.

Despite some mistakes I thought your overall story was good.

Good Luck

Ghostie

Hi Ghostie.
Thanks for the read and notes. The original story was 6-pages, but somebody asked me to make it longer, then said he can't make it because of the crow. Difficult to find tamed ones and animated is too expensive.
Anyway thanks again and I will check out your work The Time Guardian as well and write what I think.


Thanks Reagrds
Jahon.