One thing I forgot but definitely wanted to add.

You start off "OVER BLACK", but you never fade in from there.  SO, essentially, the entire script is filmed over black, the way it's written.

An easy fix, obviously, but an important one, as well.

p3
"...but she realizes he is the hero."
^doesn't really tell the author much. show, don't tell.

p4
"Angela shoos him out of the kitchen before he can ask for
more."
^same thing as before. this tells the audience nothing. you can't show this on screen.

those were actually my only two gripes about the format. overall i found this one to be VERY intriguing. I loved the atmosphere and the clean writing.

as several people have already stated, there are A LOT of questions to be answered here. but you said a rewrite is in the works. so hopefully you'll offer some explanations.

loved the repeating set up. that was my favorite part IMO. found it very interesting how we don't actually see what happened. we just see the results of any conflict prior.

glad to hear it got produced. make sure to post the link to the finished product.

Hey guys, here's a link to Night 6's facebook page.

Go ahead and give it a "like"

http://www.facebook.com/Night6ShortFilm

Hi JP,

Sorry - I know I'm a bit late to the party on this one. I just wanted to say how much I enjoyed 'Night 6' - my favourite script on this website so far. Very atmospheric, very film noir - I could follow the story from start to finish and was surprised by the twist, which I thought worked well.

I like the fact that it's almost entirely dialogue-free - it forces you to find clever ways of telling the story and I think you've done a great job of doing so. Bravo.