Hey Cody.

I didn't read all of the comments but it seems like you've got some mixed reviews.  I for one liked this story and can picture a miniseries spawning from this.

I actually see Francis as more of a ghost following Marianne around as she rips out the hearts of all these guys rather than just narrating the entire thing.  I think it would be beneficial to put Francis right there with Marianne to add a bit of flare to what feels like just a simple, shallow breakup.

Marianne's apathy may be a turn off in terms of depth but I think coupling her with a dramatic Francis could work in your favor and who knows, I sorta think that Francis could even be a figment of Marianne's imagination.  Perhaps her single piece of morality screaming at her to grow a f***in' heart.  In a way a divided character which could clash in later episodes.  Well anyways, great job with this.  It was an interesting read.

Johnny

Cody

Love the title.

I was endeared to this. It’s essentially just a talking heads piece, not much going on in terms of action but I like the dialogue between both characters. Like your “Third Ave” script there is an emotional honesty and personal feel to the piece that gives it tangibility often lacking in others which meditate on the subject of love.

You are coasting very close to accusations of pretentiousness and naval gazing but I think you stay just within the borderline. For me, it’s that dreamy, poetic delivery of the dialogue that I like about it so much. It’s not really how people would talk, its highly stylized, feels like written dialogue and that’s cool, its goes in tandem with the airy tone of the piece. The intertwining V.O. works well too, I particularly like the passages which bookend the piece.

Interesting work with a unique voice.

Col.