I read straight through, skimmed over a couple grammatical errors, aside from that though written very, very well. I like colourful, rich characters and you have the knack for building that, so dialogue was spot on and matched each character. Gerry may have upstaged August during his scene, but that's good. It adds flavour. His scene is relatively short anyway. Plus he's an extension of consciousness, I think his scene calls for a certain flamboyancy.

I liked this quite a lot. A brief glimpse into this particular killer's mind. The psychosis handled very well. The battle with his inner demons... the good side of him wanting to come out... but evil winning in the end.

I think you've done enough with it. Leaving the viewer thinking is a good thing.

All in all, nice work. I can see this being shot.

Thanks Dustin for reading, bro! You still tellin it like it is? Lol, amen. i'll admit, your take on this was more than I, which is a good thing because it makes the rewrite much easier. I want to develop August more and have balance toward the end.

Realizing from the feedback already that this script is pretty subjective. It's not everyone's flavor, yet a lot to work with. I'm really stoked by your insights, hopefully you've got something so I can do the same. If not, I'll see you at the OWC buddy!

Johnny