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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Triple Word Score
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Don
Posted: April 17th, 2017, 1:13pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Triple Word Score by Mark Brooks - Short, Drama - A young couple share some amazing news over a late night game of Scrabble. 5 pages - pdf, format

New writer interested in feedback on this work


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eldave1
Posted: April 19th, 2017, 11:01am Report to Moderator
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I got lost in the ending - I think.

I was thinking that the news was she's pregnant - of so, the beer doesn't make sense or the sad tears. I like the premise of the story - just confused by conclusion.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

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RichardR
Posted: April 20th, 2017, 10:02am Report to Moderator
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Some notes.

This one has some possibilities.  Two people in love and preggo.  Fine.  Use the scrabble to lead up to the reveal.  She's rigged the game so she can put in words such as preggo and boy and girl and infant, etc.  Eventually, even the slow witted get it.

Best
Richard
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Lightfoot
Posted: April 29th, 2017, 7:05pm Report to Moderator
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I'm certain this was a surprise pregnancy announcement for Sean and that she has rearranged the pieces on the board while he was in the kitchen , but I'm a little confused about her drinking alcohol ... after knowing she is pregnant.

I agree with what Richard has said, make her toy with him a bit before the big reveal, perhaps he is a bit slow to clue in and that's when she spells it our for him ... literally.
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