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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Same Name
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  Author    Same Name  (currently 687 views)
Don
Posted: August 14th, 2018, 11:28pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Same Name by Steven Burton - Short, Drama, LGBT - After both survive turmoil, their same name brings a straight black actor and a gay white actor-writer together. They team up on a film project that creates more greatness for both. 13 pages - pdf format

For production consideration - No comments required


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Revision History (6 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  July 11th, 2024, 11:12am
revised draft
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EscapeVelocity13
Posted: August 16th, 2018, 12:41am Report to Moderator
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Hey Steven,

First thing I noticed, the format is off. There are free programs out there to clear this up for you.

This story didn't really work for me, and honestly, it was quite confusing in spots. Your two main characters having the same name made this a very clumsy read in certain areas. I found myself having to reread the same sections of your script over and over again, I had to power through it. Also, you tend to 'tell' your story as opposed to 'showing' it as screenwriting demands.

I think you have something to say with this script, but it needs a little bit of work before it's made clear.

Good luck.
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