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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Drama Scripts  ›  Same Name
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  Author    Same Name  (currently 157 views)
Posted: August 14th, 2018, 10:28pm Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

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Same Name by Steven Burton - Short, Drama, Fantasy - An African American straight actor and a Caucasian gay actor-writer with the same name meet to collaborate on a film project that produces more greatness for both. 13 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

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Revision History (1 edits)
Don  -  October 31st, 2018, 4:43pm
revised draft
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Posted: August 15th, 2018, 11:41pm Report to Moderator

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Hey Steven,

First thing I noticed, the format is off. There are free programs out there to clear this up for you.

This story didn't really work for me, and honestly, it was quite confusing in spots. Your two main characters having the same name made this a very clumsy read in certain areas. I found myself having to reread the same sections of your script over and over again, I had to power through it. Also, you tend to 'tell' your story as opposed to 'showing' it as screenwriting demands.

I think you have something to say with this script, but it needs a little bit of work before it's made clear.

Good luck.
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