SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is August 18th, 2017, 8:37pm
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  ›  Arrival of Light
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Arrival of Light  (currently 211 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: August 9th, 2017, 9:24pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
11247
Posts Per Day
1.86
Arrival of Light by Steve Miles - Short, Sci Fi, Drama - In a future where every choice is measured by its risk, a disillusioned man looks to his past for a way to escape his present. 7 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
Warren
Posted: August 9th, 2017, 10:10pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
798
Posts Per Day
1.80
Hi Steve,


Quoted Text
AUDITOR
I donít know thatís medically
proven.


Is it missing an if?

Totally engrossing. Well done.

I think the writing is almost flawless.

A really enjoyable read. I have nothing to add.

All the best.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb
Logged
Private Message Reply: 1 - 10
Dustin
Posted: August 10th, 2017, 3:10am Report to Moderator
Blue



Posts
4110
Posts Per Day
2.77
Loved it. I connect with Levine, he's my type of guy. I think this would also make a great short story. If there aren't any filmmakers out there to appreciate this, then you should consider writing it up as a short story.

Nice work, mate.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 2 - 10
khamanna
Posted: August 10th, 2017, 5:47am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Posts
2084
Posts Per Day
0.72
I liked everything about it but I wish it had a stronger ending. The way you have it now is loses me. Did he decide to kill himself? Or he continues to do whatever he wants?
Also, why now? That question was on my mind from the very beginning as well.

Although it's still beautifully written and extremely atmospheric and clever.
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 10
eldave1
Posted: August 10th, 2017, 9:59am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Southern California
Posts
2489
Posts Per Day
2.24
Well done here, squire. Done so well I forgot to take notes - absorbed in it.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
Logged Offline
Site Private Message Reply: 4 - 10
stevemiles
Posted: August 10th, 2017, 5:36pm Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
584
Posts Per Day
0.26
Warren, Dustin, Khamanna, Dave - thanks all for reading.

Dustin - the prose approach is certainly plan B.  I dip into it every now and then but Iím just too impatient to see it through - almost too much choice.  I pretty sure at some point Iíll at least write up a short or two.

Khamanna - both fair points.  Iím not sure Iíve got a answer to the first.  I went back and forth on what to Ďshowí in that last scene - whether itís more from Levineís POV, happily swimming through the water or from the boyís simply watching him swim away.  I saw it as more the act itself that was the end point rather than where it led.  I didnít see Levine as swimming off to die though - a little too ambiguous perhaps.

Cheers again for taking the time.  If anyone has anything they want a read on in return just let me know.

Steve


My short scripts can be found here:


http://www.sjmilesscripts.webs.com
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 5 - 10
Warren
Posted: August 10th, 2017, 5:42pm Report to Moderator
Green



Location
Sydney, Australia
Posts
798
Posts Per Day
1.80
I personally liked the ambiguity, so much so that I think it would take away from the story to make it more clear.

I'd love for you take a look at my new one, A Happy Family.


To View All My Scripts Please Use The Link Below

My Website

My IMDb

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Warren  -  August 10th, 2017, 10:45pm
Logged
Private Message Reply: 6 - 10
Dustin
Posted: August 11th, 2017, 3:52am Report to Moderator
Blue



Posts
4110
Posts Per Day
2.77
Levine swims in the sea because he's told that he shouldn't. I also like that, rather than there being a legal ramification to breaking Big Brother's rules there is a material penalty or fine in the cost of health insurance. Levine clearly loves life so much that he is prepared to take the consequences of living it more fully.

The subtlety of this work is its strength. Even if lost on most, I would hate to see the writer simplify.

In regard short stories, I've just fully finished my first one. 6.5k words. Last time I wrote a short story was around 15 years ago. I have to be honest, it's a very freeing experience as a writer. Not only that, but you can self-publish. If 10 people read and enjoy your short that's better than it sitting around gathering dust waiting for a filmmaker. Worse, waiting for a filmmaker that will only eff it up.

All the best.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 7 - 10
stevemiles
Posted: August 12th, 2017, 7:05am Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
584
Posts Per Day
0.26

The ability to self-publish is a game-changer.  That's the issue with scripts, as a creative work they're limited and you are at the mercy of someone else's interpretation.  I recently saw the initial results of a project I'd been waiting on for two years.  The director took a different approach to the one on paper to the extent it's likely to be abandoned - pity as some of it looked pretty good.


My short scripts can be found here:


http://www.sjmilesscripts.webs.com
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 8 - 10
StevenClark
Posted: August 12th, 2017, 11:08am Report to Moderator
Yellow



Location
Upstate NY
Posts
1337
Posts Per Day
0.80
Steve,

Read this a few days ago, then just now so it'd be fresh in my mind. Not much I can say on story, as I can find nothing that I'd change. So, I'll mention that what you did so well here is you find a way to evoke pure emotion, a longing that belongs to a character that most of us can relate to. And if you're able to do that, in my opinion, your story is golden. Like Andy Dufresne in Shawahank - hope. Levine - longing for the way things used to be, a connection to his youth and to simpler times. It's universal, and it's something readers like myself, and all the other commenters apparently, can latch onto. Extremely well done, Steve. Probably my favorite that I've read from you.

Steve


Logged
Private Message Reply: 9 - 10
stevemiles
Posted: August 13th, 2017, 4:46am Report to Moderator
Green



Posts
584
Posts Per Day
0.26
Thanks Steve, glad you liked it.  I appreciate your time.

Steve


My short scripts can be found here:


http://www.sjmilesscripts.webs.com
Logged
Site Private Message Reply: 10 - 10
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Sci Fi and Fantasy Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006