Good job on this one!

I've read Abbatoir the short, I think I may read another one of yours now. Well, not now, I'm saving the horror stuff for September on, but I am gathering a list of bedtime reads.

Hey James, good job. I think you’re a very talented young writer. It’s so good to see such talented writers for their ages at this site Good job.

Hey James.  I think this is the last one of these for me.  Been pretty busy, and slow getting to them.

I liked this one, and found it amusing, but I have a strange problem with this one.

I imagine that most of us, while reading scripts, try to "direct" them in our mind's eye, visualizing the action -- this one had plenty of scenes that were amusing as written on the page, but I simply could not picture how some of these actions would be filmed.

I realize this gun shop does not inhabit the "real" world, but things like the chef "pulling a rocket launcher from his crotch", or the kids snorting wasabi, or how a rocket can "ping" off a wall, then return following a 180-degree course change.

Do you get where I'm coming from?  Even if this were animated, I can't imagine how some of this stuff would look.  You are simply defying too many laws of physics here -- even "Roadrunner" physics wouldn't work for some of this stuff.  

I liked the set-up, situation, characters, and resolution with this one -- all of the right pieces were in place -- and there are plenty of things here that are good -- but if somebody told me to direct this one I would have no clue how to approach it.

Thanks for the read, Bert. Oh boy... a couple people have already said the stuff happening in this script defies the very laws of physics, which is cool. I was really aiming for Looney Toons humor in a few obvious scenes but if these scenes don't work even on Roadrunner terms, I think I'm in trouble. I'll have to come back to this one at some point. I gather from the mixed reviews that it's not my best work but I have no regrets. The One Week Challenge is supposed to be exactly that... a challenge and I think I got something out of it. Nevertheless, I think I can still fix this one up and make it better. Thanks again.