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Ink Red by M. Fisher - Thriller - After learning his son is dead, a broken spirited police detective sets out to find a copy cat serial killer also responsible for sending him menacing letters that say his son is still alive. 88 pages - pdf, format
Is anyone reading this? I may remove it if no one is interested in reading this. I have a producer possibly interested and was hoping to get notes. Not the end of the world, but curious if it's necessary to leave it up.
Hey there Mr Fisher, just some quick thoughts. I didn't actually read the whole thing yet, just so you know...BUT, from what I see it's very promising! I like your control of the storylines and your handling of the characters and your formatting and such. Very professional. Very much like a real CSI/law & order procedural. However, I think there are some things not as good you should look into fixing? I think your dialogue is serviceable but really in need of much pumping up for a movie script. A lot of it is too on the nose and not really the way people talk in everyday life, you know? Make it more memorable? Also, the little physical things here and there your characters do (at least in the first half) aren't too interesting...you should add or write more of the (dramatic) things they did? Maybe work on parallels and such within strucutre of your story like a puzzle, more congruent though not obvious. And yeah, even though your title was what drew me into this piece in the first place, I personally could think of something catchier ("Inky Cloak?) so yeah, look forward to finishing it though I might not write about it then...
You could go to the exchange board and offer it up for return reads.
[bert's edit: bert wonders if Mr. Fisher is ever going to honor the old review exchanges that he promised for "Momentum"....]
That was like 3 years ago. Maybe 2. Good memory though. I totally welshed on them. I could give some self-serving reason for not doing so, but the truth is if I didn't give a review I promised it was because I couldn't finish the scripts. I was like 20 at the time. It was a dick move on my part admittedly.