SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
Welcome, Guest.
It is January 23rd, 2019, 5:37am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship

Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration

The Beginners Guide to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board (WIP)

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the and domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  Final Market Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Final Market  (currently 587 views)
Posted: January 3rd, 2018, 10:28am Report to Moderator

So, what are you writing?

Posts Per Day
Final Market by Silvano Anselmo - Thriller  - It's about human organ trafficing.  117 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Visit for what is new on the site.

You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Site Private Message
Posted: January 3rd, 2018, 11:02am Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day

Your sluglines are all over the place and incorrect.
Your formatting seems off.
You have large action blocks that need to be broken up.
You need to limit your parenthetical use.
Watch your spelling, grammar, typos.
Get rid of the continued at the bottom of the pages.

Read some professional screenplays and study the structure of them. Get a free version of screenwriting software (WriterDuet, Celtx) if you do not already have one and rewrite the script from what you have learned. You will learn a lot just from reading.

Remember you will get better with each screenplay you write.
However, one must crawl before they walk.
Keep working hard at it. You got this.

I have absolutely no idea what the note was at the end of your screenplay. If it is indeed a note it shouldn't come after The End.

All the best,
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 3
Posted: January 3rd, 2018, 7:14pm Report to Moderator

Posts Per Day
A paragraph ENDS. A new paragraph BEGINS. The CUT TOs are NOT necessary.

CONTINUES galore. Even (CONT'D) followed by (Cont'd) on the CHARACTER line.   Discontinue the continues.

ACTION lines need to be 4 lines or less,  Some of these ACTION paragraphs are a challenge to read.  Chop then up in to bite size for ease on the eyes.

The SCENE HEADINGS are formatted differently page to page.

Many scenes are over written. Rewrite them to make the sentences stronger.  Visualize what you seen in your mind and write that with the fewest words possible.

I suggest a rewrite then rewrite again. Many pros rewrite 20 or more times.

All of us screenwriters started like this.

You do have a story. Your challenge is to make it an easy read of an inciting event.

Good luck to you Silvano.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 3
Posted: January 3rd, 2018, 7:26pm Report to Moderator

Southern California
Posts Per Day
Dude, you got to pay attention to some of the basics. This is a bit of a mess

My Scripts can all be seen here:
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 3 - 3
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Thriller Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006