What is sucky description? Should you have novel like description, or just state the plain facts w/o any filler cr*p like metaphor and big descriptive words? I'm working on my first script (definitely not my first piece of literature, just script) and I need some back up. I think I've covered my dialogue

It's up to you.

I like on my 1st 3 drafts to go all out and plasture the screen with detail and useless camera directions and then on my 4th and final draft take it all down to just bare bones what I need.

I can always save 20 to 24 pages on all my work on the final drafts, which is good for agents, producers and readers alike...

Though you "can" say it in 3 sentences or less, your 1st time out... don't... don't write a final draft 1st... write it 4th.

However on your final draft make sure you take it down to just what is needed.

hey, you seem to know a lot (more than I do). When it comes to comedy, is it okay to have scenes that dont really advance the story, there just funny? Or will those get taken out at one point or another?

Do not use novel description.  State what is important to keeping the story moving.  

avoid unneccessary adjectives and metephors.  

BAD EXAMPLE

Kenny picks up his noble pool cue like a knight in midevil times, awaiting his most ineviatable moment of truth.

Good Example

Kenny picks up his pool cue.



Show narrative description through dialogue.

I know that, which is hard to do, because sometimes it almost sounds like your stating to little by just saying 'Kenny picks up his pool cue,' but I know thats right.

You can get a little creative from time to time though... it's not like you're gonna get black balled if you do, just know what's to much and what's to little.

For instance... In COFFIN CANYON

In one scene I wrote

CARVER cracks a sadistic grin, like the cat who ate the canary.

It could have just been

CARVER cracks a sadistic grin.

And that would have been fine or more right on... however triggering neat and often times bendable phrases into your headers and such does make for a more interesting and fun read.

Hey DS, a good way to practice is to use your avatar as an example.

How would you describe a scene that has a lone dude hacking into a bunch of school girls? Just for arguements sake.

Quoted from baltis, posted June 28th, 2004, 8:36pm at here You can get a little creative from time to time though... it's not like you're gonna get black balled if you do, just know what's to much and what's to little. For instance... In COFFIN CANYON In one scene I wrote CARVER cracks a sadistic grin, like the cat who ate the canary. It could have just been CARVER cracks a sadistic grin. And that would have been fine or more right on... however triggering neat and often times bendable phrases into your headers and such does make for a more interesting and fun read.

you wont get black balled but your script might not sell.  Just know they say in school and in books not to do this.

SLASH SLASH SWIPE SWIPE! Blood and guts paints the room, and Stephen stands untouched with his katana poised.....

Thats practically what the kill bill script was in its action scenes in the house of blue leaves part, but I think QT got away with that cause it was his movie.

thats awesome. Why cant I do that?

You can... take a look at SAM RAIMI's evil dead screenplay and even better, his story boards.... LOL!

This is your movie, make it and write it how you want to write it.

Don't listen to this proper format stuff. No body in hollywood used "THE PROPER FORMAT" anymore.  SID FIELD is probably the last one to be still using it.

Take a look at ROMERO's screenplays -- are they proper formatted? NOPE!
Take a look at WES CRAVEN's screenplays -- are they proper formatted? NOPE!
Take a look at GEORGE LUCASS's stuff -- they are a mess!

Write a general way of telling us pictures in motion. If it is descriptives enough and easy to grasp, then you are doing alright.

My favorite screenplay to look at in the case of judgement is the FREDDY's DEAD screenplay -- What format is that in? I know I've never seen such a format in all my years of reading and writting screenplays.

Your descriptions can be however you fill they should be, only... they still have to retain a bit of image quality.

I read that script , Freddys Dead----it was cool, to say the least, because it wasnt written---uhh, normal. It seemed informal almost---which is how I like to do things.

Quoted from baltis, posted June 29th, 2004, 4:13pm at here You can... take a look at SAM RAIMI's evil dead screenplay and even better, his story boards.... LOL! This is your movie, make it and write it how you want to write it. Don't listen to this proper format stuff. No body in hollywood used "THE PROPER FORMAT" anymore.  SID FIELD is probably the last one to be still using it. Take a look at ROMERO's screenplays -- are they proper formatted? NOPE! Take a look at WES CRAVEN's screenplays -- are they proper formatted? NOPE! Take a look at GEORGE LUCASS's stuff -- they are a mess! Write a general way of telling us pictures in motion. If it is descriptives enough and easy to grasp, then you are doing alright. My favorite screenplay to look at in the case of judgement is the FREDDY's DEAD screenplay -- What format is that in? I know I've never seen such a format in all my years of reading and writting screenplays. Your descriptions can be however you fill they should be, only... they still have to retain a bit of image quality.

Do not listen to this person.  Are you effing retarded?  "no one in hollywood?"

oh?  Have you sold a screenplay in hollywood?  

I should delete this post.  If a director writes his own script HES DIRECTING IT....IT DOESNT MATTER HOW ITS WRITTEN....but you arent directing movies here....this forum is for writers who want to sell their screenplays...and writing them in format is very important.  Baltis, dont give advice when you dont know what you're talking about...

Dangerous Sam-  Bottom line...If you just want to write scripts for fun or plan on producing them yourself, write them however you want.  If you want a career as a screenwriter than learn the proper format.

"Noone in hollywood uses proper format anymore"

the most retarded statement of the year.

Id ban baltis if I could for said idiocy!

Quoted from EsKayEye, posted July 6th, 2004, 9:06am at here Are you effing retarded?  ... the most retarded statement of the year. ... Id ban baltis if I could for said idiocy!

You know the real truth, but when you call people idiots and retards for sharing what they believe to be the real truth, you're not doing your job of earning the respect of your students so that you can teach them the follies of their ways.  You made an apt point about directors being able to create their own formats; however, your point was overshadowed by your lack of respect for the authority of thread moderator.  Get over your arrogance, and your superiority complex, and then spread your knowledge in a respectable way.

1st of all... I have sold a screenplay... 2 of them to DIVISON FILMS, an independent film company. THE AMERICAN ANUAL and CORPIS.

2nd -- I was just giving pointers where do you get off calling me retarded for giving out good honest advice? Is it not true? ... I think we can all agree that when you write, you write to direct in a manor of speaking.

I myself don't want to be a director, but I do know for a fact that D. SAMURI has idea's and I am willing to bet that he'd like to direct his own work.

Also, SYD FEILDS... never directed a movie 1 -- he's the most famouse screenwritter of our time. Did he create his own formatt? I think he invented the formatt if you get down to brass tax about it.

Don't set there and fly off the handle cause I spouted of some truths and gave the topic creator some self confidence in the process. If he wants to write a movie, let him. If he wants to direct, let him. If he wants to stray from "YOUR" formatt, let him.  

You've got serious issues it seems...