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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Thriller Scripts  ›  The Trepediation Moderators: bert
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  Author    The Trepediation  (currently 2312 views)
Don
Posted: June 19th, 2007, 6:44am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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The Trepediation by Joe Allen Barniak - Thriller - Jennifer is a sweet girl victim to everything.  All of a sudden she gets taken hostage and her perspective changes.  Her easy going personality changes as she turns into an aggressive fighting machine, picking off her hostage takers one by one.  This story dives into the mind of a hostage, revealing the decisisons she makes and the challenges she faces.  This is inspired by true events.  Prepare to root for the good guy. 33 pages - pdf, format


The Trepediation 2 by Joe Allen Barniak - Horror - This is about a bomb that gets stolen and how the badguys want to find the combination to destroy the united states.  This script makes political references.  It starts out as a teenie bopper movie for the first few pages and takes a complete turn into a dark sinister movie.  87 pages - pdf, format


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You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
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Revision History (3 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Don  -  November 4th, 2007, 2:45pm
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Joe Allen Barniak
Posted: June 19th, 2007, 10:11am Report to Moderator
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Don, thanks for posting this.  I'll  keep checking back to see what people think.
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captainron47
Posted: June 19th, 2007, 9:12pm Report to Moderator
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Well, I read through it twice.  The Script is all over the place. The dialog is flat and unnatural.  Some of the names that you assigned to your characters make for a confusing read.  The big question I have is, the girl is in a police car and the person driving is called, "the driver." Is he a cop? I may have missed it but it was confusing to me. But the big thing was the dialog.  Visualize your movie and even act it out. That may help.
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Joe Allen Barniak
Posted: June 19th, 2007, 11:32pm Report to Moderator
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thanks man, sorry for wasting your time
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Joe Allen Barniak
Posted: August 13th, 2007, 6:53pm Report to Moderator
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This script is the full updated version, it is currently in production.  I like this, it's my best work.
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captainron47
Posted: November 24th, 2007, 1:56am Report to Moderator
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i am not sure what happened but....... i did not write the above comment nor did i read your script.
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ABennettWriter
Posted: November 24th, 2007, 2:06am Report to Moderator
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So...

Has the net gone mad?

Crazy.
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