SimplyScripts
Discussion Board
Home - Movie Scripts - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is June 19th, 2013, 1:08am
Please login or register.
Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
Welcome to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board. You have to register before you can post: click the 'register' link above to proceed. Registration is free, however you will have to confirm your e-mail address. Also, regardless if this is your first visit or 100th visit, please read the RULES. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. If you have questions on how to use the discussion board, click on the 'help' button above. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.

The 1+6 Week Challenge script are up! (have been up for a bit). Read them here!

If you wish to join this discussion board, send me a message
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short  ›  Dead End Street Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
Loulou, AdSense and 1 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    Dead End Street  (currently 354 views)
SimplyScripts
Posted: February 28th, 2009, 7:57pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
8619
Posts Per Day
1.90
Dead End Street by Peter Pearson (muse32) - Short, Horror - The story is about a group of movie influenced psychopaths, taking it on themselves to make their own horror movie. Plaguing the streets with death, they post their victims murder's on the internet to lure viewers to watch, not knowing viewing, they'll be next in line. - pdf, format


Visit http://www.simplyscripts.com for what is new on the site.



No matter where you go, there you are.
--Buckaroo Bonzai
Logged
Site Private Message AIM YIM
Tommyp
Posted: February 28th, 2009, 8:58pm Report to Moderator
Green


Continuity Is For Pussies...

Location
Australia
Posts
822
Posts Per Day
0.48
Just finished this script. Few points...

Technical things...

-"amy" to "Amy" on page 2.
-"there" not "their" on page 5.
-"you're" not "your" on page 9
-Missing a few questions marks on page 13.
-"There" not "Their" on page 21.
-"There" not "Their" on page 25.

-This might sound better, "David looks at his right hand at the clawed glove" if you changed it to, "David looks at the clawed glove on his right hand"

-Why did he turn the landing light on twice on page 15?

-Too much gore I think. I'm not a fan of the horror genre, so that's probably why.

-Describe the important characters the first time we meet them.

Overall this was a cool idea. It worked well.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 1 - 2
Muse32
Posted: March 3rd, 2009, 12:05pm Report to Moderator
Purple


Aspiring Screen Writer

Location
England, UK
Posts
111
Posts Per Day
0.07
Thanks for reading this.

Page 15 part is a hint that someone is upstairs, being so busy he forgets he already turned the light on he does it again, good you noticed it, probably be better applied on screen.

Im revising my feature thats in the horror section called FURY, im very aware that my descriptive writing and spelling is off, so im concerntrating alot on this. I'd like to think im getting better at this so far from my current revision.

Any other readers wanna give a review on the story?


-- CLICK ON ME TO READ MY SCRIPTS --

Sent to Hell (Short, Horror) FURY (120+ page Feature, Horror) Dead End Street (29 page Short, Horror) March of the Martyr (6 page Short, Drama)

Revision History (2 edits; 1 reasons shown)
Muse32  -  July 5th, 2009, 4:34pm
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 2
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short  [ previous | next ] Switch to:

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on

Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006