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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Series of shots Moderators: George Willson
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James McClung
Posted: November 10th, 2009, 10:56pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients



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This is something I use sparingly. Generally, I try to avoid. However I'm currently writing a script with three scenes in the same room. It's very important to me that the room not be shown in its entirety until the third scene which tentatively is the last scene in the whole script. I honestly don't think I can be suggestive enough that a director wouldn't try to shoot the whole thing. This isn't so much of a directing choice so much as it is a storytelling choice. That said, everything can get completely screwed up if a director attempts to fill in the blanks of what's in the room. As of now, I've resorted to series of shots. However, given that one of these scenes takes place on the first page, I don't want to send the wrong idea. There's no other direction I plan on using further on. Is there any way I can communicate the lack of coverage without the use of series of shots?


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mcornetto
Posted: November 10th, 2009, 11:08pm Report to Moderator
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I would say try to suggest the room in focused sentence actions which convey what we see.

Like

A small table holds a telephone, her hand reaches for the handset.  

Her worried eyes shift from the right to the left.  Is that a noise?

Through the keyhole in the door we can see light but then that light disappears.  The knob on the door rattles.

She lifts the handset off its cradle.
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: November 10th, 2009, 11:16pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from mcornetto
I would say try to suggest the room in focused sentence actions which convey what we see.

Like

A small table holds a telephone, her hand reaches for the handset.  

Her worried eyes shift from the right to the left.  Is that a noise?

Through the keyhole in the door we can see light but then that light disappears.  The knob on the door rattles.

She lifts the handset off its cradle.


Certainly sounds much more appealing to me through the use of "suggestion" (sounds like hypnosis and it probably is) rather then the ugly look of "series of shots" though useful, very blatant to me, it takes one out of the story itself. Good for direction, but not so for story I guess.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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James McClung
Posted: November 10th, 2009, 11:18pm Report to Moderator
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This is what I thought initially. It's good advice and I took it. I've since rewritten both since. Indeed, within the first six minutes of your response, I rewrote them. I try to stay busy. I did, however, in spite of my better instincts, make a note that the room is meant to be shown in glimpses. It's a bathroom and the contents of the bathtub as well as the floor are meant to remain hidden until the last scene. Otherwise, it completely screws up the flow of events. The same goes for the person in the room. As of now, I only show their hands.


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