Sons of God by Shanna Sorrentino - Drama - Two friends are on opposite sides, as America launches genocide on its own shores. 106 pages - pdf, format

You're first couple of pages are way to blocky and there are too many passive -ing adverbs. I think there is a lot of fat you can trim in this script right off the bat but I shall press on on. I'll be back later with my thoughts.

I'm willing to give this one a read, is the writer around?

I think this is a nice attempt at a feature. I like the concept behind your theme but I don't think English is your first language and some things words and phrases didn't translate like they should. As I said before your script needs to be more active. You use too many passive verbs and adverbs. The dialogue at times is too perfect; I can't picture people talking like that unless they were some sort of professor. Other times the sentences are broken in such a way where small words like "is" and "then" are left out. Keep writing and make sure you have someone who's really good with the English language proof your script so it flows. Second, remember to only write what can be seen or heard. So instead of writing "he tries to block germs from escaping" you could try something like "Seth, shields his mouth with his forearm. A plum of saliva and mucus spew onto his coat arm."

Thanks for the read,
Brandon