Welcome, Guest. It is December 13th, 2013, 11:38am Please login or register.
Welcome to the SimplyScripts Discussion Board. You have to register before you can post: click the 'register' link above to proceed. Registration is free, however you will have to confirm your e-mail address. Also, regardless if this is your first visit or 100th visit, please read the RULES. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. If you have questions on how to use the discussion board, click on the 'help' button above. To start viewing messages, select the forum that you want to visit from the selection below.
There's going to be a sour tone in this review -- it might be just a result of envy, fatigue or a bit of undigested gruel.
Although this script shows you've got writing skills -- to me it seemed like it might have been an assignment; write a comedy and use a lot of gags. Maybe on the screen, with really attractive actors this could be entertaining, but I didn't even smile, reading it.
Again, you've got skills -- most of the scenes are set up well, there are clever bits of action, and some quick, mostly bright dialogue, but the characters... nothing much to care about, one way or another.
It actually was an assignment, but there were no guidelines. So there is no one to blame for how it turned out but myself. I was pretty happy with the friends, but I know I need to work on the protagonist and the antagonist. Was just hoping for a few ideas... I have some of my own, but more is good. I hope the gags pertaining to Bill felt in line with his character. He was meant to come off as a bit immature and try to drag the others down to his level.
Thanks for the compliments on the technical aspects. The characters are definitely the focus of future rewrites.
My main reason for putting it up is that I am trying to decide if I should work on a rewrite or set this aside for a while and start the next one.