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The family touring sedan with the SANDOVAL'S aboard. In the front seat at the helm, FRANK, 45, chubby, swept over hair, horned rimmed glasses calls back to his son.
FRANK Macky...Macky...Maaacky. Wake up.
A sweaty little fat boy, MACKY, 12, horned rimmed glasses, stirs, then opens his eyes.
MACKY I dreamed we had air conditioning.
FRANK Your mother and I thought it was more important to save our money for this vacation.
Macky looks over to his kid sister, JENNY, 10, round face, training bra, although not ready.
A - Dislike B - Like Like both but the rating calls for it. I know I can give both a LIKE but... I like B more than A. tiny bitty itsy more.
For two hours of work these two are very good! Both are exciting, I didn't even think they'd be coherent...
Here's my opinion: Both are quite original. The first one is more of a kid horror movie. My vote goes to the second one because it told a complete story in my opinion. But the first one was no less fun (actually funnier), it's just the second one gave me a feeling of 'complete'.
I liked B better than A for the simple fact it was clearly more visual and popped a bit better. The 1st one was alright, so dislike seems a bit harsh in retrospect.
Both were very well done and creative for a two hour exercise. I hate to rate these.
A - The setup was for a humourous/bad ending for the boy. It didn’t deliver, Instead we get the swamp army. This one I saw as animation. Writing was smooth, outstanding effort, for a two hour jaunt.
B - The use of adult themes seemed inappropriate for a family: Licking toads, mass beaver burial site, profanity, and kids tripping out. Very visual for a two hour exercise. Personally, I thought it was funny as hell.
I agree with some of the other comments. Both were well done little one pagers (or two)
A. Was clever in that it had an ironic ending in such a short script. It was also cute.
B. Although not bad, it wasn't suitable as a family piece. Would have worked better for me if the hallucination part would have been accidental in some way. !0 and 12 year olds bringing a frog along for the "trip" on purpose was a downer for me...as a parent.
I enjoyed both shorts, but A fits the criteria better. The irony in A is misplaced, but it's still a family comedy. B is funny, but animated short before Pineapple Express funny, not family comedy.
E.D.
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I didn't care for either but I can't say either really turned me off. Maybe B more than A as it kind of assumes the mere act of licking a frog and hallucinating is funny rather than the hallucination's content actually being funny (which it wasn't). There was really nothing to it and the family comedy thing was kinda killed.
A was okay. I don't think people really have a knack for writing kids. Kevin was alright but Lily just sounded like a caricature. And the ending... I probably shouldn't even say what I thought was going to happen. The FADE TO GREEN was cute though.
Think I liked A more than B as it had a much more interesting set up and environment.
I thought A. was cute, liked the story, and the ending. Nice.
With B. I thought it took a while to get going, and I don't think kids 10 and 12 should be getting high.
Cindy
Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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