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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Simplyscripts Collaborative Effort  ›  The Dark: The Killing Gene Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    The Dark: The Killing Gene  (currently 2218 views)
mcornetto
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 4:32pm Report to Moderator
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The Dark: The Killing Gene (Moviestorm Machinima)

A man has his beliefs put to the test when he is confronted with an offer he simply can't refuse.

Music by:
-Misplaced Optimism
http://myspace.com/misopmusic

-Kevin MacLeod
http://www.incompetech.com/

Don't forget to LIKE The Dark on Facebook.
http://www.facebook.com/pages/The-Dark/137592462958475

View the script here:
http://www.simplyscripts.com/scripts/TheKillingGene.pdf
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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 4:59pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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To answer the question:

Hmmm... shallz we say about seven billion? On this little spec of dust we call a planet.

Lovely job on this and I appreciated the music from misplaced optimism.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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_ghostwriter
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 5:01pm Report to Moderator
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Yes, I remember reading this one as well.  As usual good job MC.   They've all been entertaining.

Ghostie


THE TIME GUARDIAN: DARK FRONTIER - scyfy

GHOSTS OF APPALOOSA - western

RISE OF THE AMAZONS - action, fantasy & adventure

HEATWAVE - faith-based erotic thriller

THE SLEEPING TIGER - psychological thriller
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grademan
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Michael,

I liked this overall but have a couple of comments:

The man in the hatís voice was abrasive to me.
The time for the walk to his car was a beat or two too long.

I know you work hard on these and it shows in the camera sees. I was absorbed by the lip sync ability of the animation. Timís story was still intriguing. Jon was excellent as voice talent. The music was up to the task.

Gary
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 5:26pm Report to Moderator
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Not bad!  The production seems to be better than the in the past.

As I said when I first read the script (I think), I don't really get much out of this story, and most of it is 2 guys sitting talking.  Not alot of visuals going on, but well done, Michael.


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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Andrew
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 6:49pm Report to Moderator
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You did a great job here, Mike. The script was also a great job.

Would love to see this produced as a filmed short. If done right it could really create some waves.

Well done, all.


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jwent6688
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 7:30pm Report to Moderator
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Good show michael. I particularly liked the tension building walk he took with the bum before he kills him. This one was done with a bit more of an edgy style then your previous. I really dug the soundtrack and your placement of the music. All in all, great show. This is probably my second favorite episode of the dark. Obviously you know which one's my favorite. So, is it just the ass-spider left to go or is there two more?

James


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 9:17pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from jwent6688
Good show michael. I particularly liked the tension building walk he took with the bum before he kills him. This one was done with a bit more of an edgy style then your previous. I really dug the soundtrack and your placement of the music. All in all, great show. This is probably my second favorite episode of the dark. Obviously you know which one's my favorite. So, is it just the ass-spider left to go or is there two more?

James


I also enjoyed "the long walk". I could feel this really working and you know what? It makes me think that with some more effects, it would be really cool to see the POV of David as he's taking it-- leading the homeless man to his death. What might he see? The colors, the sounds... would the night even seem real to him at all? Of course now I'm opening up a Sandra can of worms... going off on a tangent. But these kinds of things inspire me. If it were allowed to be longer, "this walk" could be shown beforehand, when everything is apparently still quite cool in the world.

It's interesting to read some of the crit work from Gary and others on technical elements.

Sandra



A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: June 23rd, 2011, 9:21pm Report to Moderator
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Extend the walk to at least 4 minutes!!!!!


To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
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mcornetto
Posted: June 24th, 2011, 1:40am Report to Moderator
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The man in the hat is Max Von Sydow.   Can't you tell by his unplaceable European accent?   The first time I heard his VO I didn't much like it either but after a couple of listens - it actually grew on me.  I think he gave an excellent performance, wouldn't change it.

I like the length of the walk too because it gives David a chance to reflect upon what he's doing and creates some tension about whether he will or not.   Having read the script you probably want to rush it because you know what's coming up.  David doesn't.

The Faceless is up next and I'll likely be starting it this weekend.   That will be the last episode of this The Dark series.  That one stars Jorge and our very own Sandra E.  

Meanwhile, I'll be getting together series 2, the one with six directors and six writers.   Still have to ask Don about doing an OWC sort of thing for picking the scripts.  Hopefully he'll say ok - otherwise I'll need to make other arrangements.  Look for that stuff at the end of July or the beginning of August.

Thanks for watching.    

    
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: June 24th, 2011, 10:27am Report to Moderator
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Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

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Your production value continues to get better and better!
It's neat to watch your skill level grow.

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
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Trojan
Posted: June 27th, 2011, 9:33am Report to Moderator
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I only just saw that this was posted. Great job MC, I think you've brought everything together nicely. First time I've seen something I wrote produced in this format, it actually looks pretty cool. Good luck with the last one in the series.

Cheers,
Tim.
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stevie
Posted: June 27th, 2011, 5:01pm Report to Moderator
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Yeah, this is probably the best produced one MC.

Not that the others weren't done well, but you have nailed it with all the detail and stuff going on.

Good job!


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