SimplyScripts Discussion Board
Blog Home - Produced Movie Script Library - TV Scripts - Unproduced Scripts - Contact - Site Map
ScriptSearch
Welcome, Guest.
It is November 15th, 2018, 6:27am
Please login or register.
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login
If you wish to join this discussion board, please send me a message. Please do read the guidelines that govern behavior on the discussion board. It will make for a much more pleasant experience for everyone. A word about SimplyScripts and Censorship


Scripts Studios are posting for award consideration
October OWC Who Wrote What and Writers Choice
And the Hyper Epic pick is...

The Night Gallery 7WC Scripts

Short Script of the Day | Featured Script of the Month | Featured Short Scripts Available for Production | Submit Your Script

How do I get my film's link and banner here?
All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Forum Login
Username: Create a new Account
Password:     Forgot Password

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  How Do You Spell Hemorrhoids? Moderators: bert
Users Browsing Forum
No Members and 2 Guests

 Pages: 1
Recommend Print
  Author    How Do You Spell Hemorrhoids?  (currently 2129 views)
Don
Posted: July 8th, 2011, 6:57pm Report to Moderator
Administrator
Administrator


So, what are you writing?

Location
Virginia
Posts
12549
Posts Per Day
1.93
How Do You Spell Hemorrhoids? by Brian Howell (reuel51) - Short, Comedy - A girl with OCD is bombarded by a feuding elderly couple who share a bit too much information. 6 pages - pdf, format


Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.


-------------
You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take.
- Wayne Gretzky
Logged
Site Private Message
mcornetto
Posted: July 8th, 2011, 7:48pm Report to Moderator
Guest User



Just to let everyone know, this was the second place winner in the Movie Poet comedy comp.  Well done, Brian.
Logged
e-mail Reply: 1 - 10
reuel51
Posted: July 8th, 2011, 11:20pm Report to Moderator
Red



Location
Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts
57
Posts Per Day
0.02
Thank you Michael. And thank you Don for posting this.


new Ignoble 5 pgs, Shock Drama (could be disturbing)
Faking It 5 pgs MP 2nd place Feb 2011
Consequences 7 pgs Thriller
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 2 - 10
jwent6688
Posted: July 9th, 2011, 8:40am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Wherever I go, there Jwent.

Posts
1744
Posts Per Day
0.47
You should intro the Receptionist in action before he/she speaks. His/her dialogue came out of nowhere. Or have them be (O.S.)

I don't like curse words in action prose. Yes, i've seen it in pro scripts too. Its just my opinion. I think it cheapens the script.

This was good. I got some chuckles.The characters were pretty well drawn for a five pager. I can see why this was a finalist at MP. I thought your last line coulda used a bit more punch. Overall, I enjoyed it. Good work...

James


Logged
Private Message Reply: 3 - 10
Electric Dreamer
Posted: July 9th, 2011, 8:48am Report to Moderator
Yellow


Taking a long vacation from the holidays.

Location
Los Angeles
Posts
2861
Posts Per Day
0.96
Hey Brian,

Congrats on the the finish.
This was pretty damn amusing all the way through.
And I like the set up for the stand by seating, nicely done.
The characters felt pretty natural, quirks and all.

I;m with James in that I don't care for vulgarity in descriptions either.
They tend to stop me in my tracks when I'm reading.
I can see how sometimes it's in service to the story though.

All this really needs is a corker one liner for the finale.
Nice work!

Regards,
E.D.


LATEST NEWS

CineVita Films
is producing a short based on my new feature!

A list of my scripts can be found here.
Logged
Private Message Reply: 4 - 10
reuel51
Posted: July 9th, 2011, 5:52pm Report to Moderator
Red



Location
Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts
57
Posts Per Day
0.02
James and E.D.

Thanks for reading and commenting. I don't usually swear in the action, in fact I'm not one to swear much anyway, but for some reason I was feeling it when I wrote this one.

Thanks again. If you guys have anything you want read (short or feature) just let me know.

Peace,
Brian


new Ignoble 5 pgs, Shock Drama (could be disturbing)
Faking It 5 pgs MP 2nd place Feb 2011
Consequences 7 pgs Thriller
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 5 - 10
lynndidiano
Posted: July 10th, 2011, 7:11am Report to Moderator
Red


Posts
4
Posts Per Day
0.00
  I LAUGHED SO FRIGGIN' HARD!!!
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 6 - 10
albinopenguin
Posted: July 11th, 2011, 1:19pm Report to Moderator
Green


I got dipping sticks.

Location
Los Angeles
Posts
790
Posts Per Day
0.22
Hey Brian, really enjoyed this one. i can certainly relate to skyler considering i'm an avid fan of hand sanitizer and my friends constantly tease me for being borderline OCD when it comes to cleanliness. so i found the humor in the snot nosed kid and the gross discussions.

there were a few descriptors that i felt were unnecessary. for example, the pretty tomboy who grew into a woman doesnt really add much to the script. in fact, the line seems to contradict itself given that she's super clean yet tomboy-ish.

also if you dont find a killer one liner for the end, i would end the script after skyler sees her seat on the plane. sure, we all knew it was going to happen, but having anymore dialogue after this discovery seems to run over (unless, of course, you find one last punchline).

great script and fun read. kudos.


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 7 - 10
reuel51
Posted: July 12th, 2011, 8:16am Report to Moderator
Red



Location
Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts
57
Posts Per Day
0.02
Will, thanks for reading and giving feedback.

This is based on something that happened to my wife. Skyler is based on her. I know the combo of former tomboy and OCD is odd, but that is my wife.

As for the final... you're not the first to mention that it might work better to end sooner. I was going for the one line zinger at the end, but I guess I didn't pull it off so well. I'll take a look at this again.

Thanks again for the read. Do you have anything in particular you want looked at?


new Ignoble 5 pgs, Shock Drama (could be disturbing)
Faking It 5 pgs MP 2nd place Feb 2011
Consequences 7 pgs Thriller
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 8 - 10
albinopenguin
Posted: July 12th, 2011, 10:14am Report to Moderator
Green


I got dipping sticks.

Location
Los Angeles
Posts
790
Posts Per Day
0.22
gotchya. and my pleasure. not sure if you experience the same, but trying to come up with a punchline for a script that's already written is so fucking difficult for me to do. but im sure you'll come up with something good.

actually i have a script called She Knows Tom coming out in a few days. i'm trying to transition from sketches to stories and its a quick 7 pager. if you wouldnt mind taking a look, it would be greatly appreciated. thanks man!


Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 9 - 10
reuel51
Posted: July 12th, 2011, 10:27am Report to Moderator
Red



Location
Salt Lake City, Utah
Posts
57
Posts Per Day
0.02
I'll keep a look out for it.


new Ignoble 5 pgs, Shock Drama (could be disturbing)
Faking It 5 pgs MP 2nd place Feb 2011
Consequences 7 pgs Thriller
Logged Offline
Private Message Reply: 10 - 10
 Pages: 1
Recommend Print

Locked Board Board Index    Short Scripts  [ previous | next ] Switch to:
Was Portal Recent Posts Home Help Calendar Search Register Login

Forum Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post polls
You may not post attachments
HTML is on
Blah Code is on
Smilies are on


Powered by E-Blah Platinum 9.71B © 2001-2006