Badminton by Simon K. Parker - Short, Drama - Two best friends will find themselves pushing each other as they compete in a badminton competition. 11 pages - pdf, format

Simon,
Hey, just gave this a read.  Never really got into shorts too much, but back in high school I was a badminton freak, so I thought I'd give it a whirl.
Your action reads a little awkward in some places.  And while I do enjoy a more prose sort of action style, yours reads pretty good.
A small group of fans are here to watch, taking pictures...could easily be--A small group of fans watch and take pictures.  
You have things like that throughout.  Passive writing is a no no if done too frequently, and you have a few in there.  But it's an easy fix though.
I liked when James gave Dean his shoes at the competition.  For a moment I thought he'd play barefoot...Dean still would have crushed his opponents probably.  But a very selfless thing for James to do.
The fact that Dean stole his trainers lets us no he is not well to do, so that's pretty descriptive about who Dean is without beating us over the head with it.  To the point.  You showed, didn't tell.
Dialogue was good, too.  Seemed to flow pretty easy.
Just two kids who like badminton.  Pretty ordinary stuff, but sometimes it's where you can find the noblest of acts.
Regards,
Steve

I had written a review on this short, Simon, but I deleted it.  You have about ten scripts posted here but you appear to be a no-show.  This site works on give and take.


Phil

"I had written a review on this short, Simon, but I deleted it.  You have about ten scripts posted here but you appear to be a no-show.  This site works on give and take."

Not sure if everybody knows this? I know I didn't when I first posted a few of my own scripts awhile back!

At the time, I was looking for professional scripts to read and came across this great site.

During one of my searches, I noticed an "Unproduced Scripts" section and decided to upload some of my own work hoping it may attract the attention of a producer, director, or basically anyone in the business of making films!

I had no idea that there were people on here willing to read my work and offer suggestions on how to improve it! Or, that I was expected to do the same!

I agree with this site's "give and take" approach. It's only fair to read and comment on other people's scripts if you want them to return the favour.

However, I think one of the reasons some people appear to be a "no-show" when their scripts are posted is because they have no idea how the "Unproduced Scripts" section works - I know I didn't!

rolo

Well, now he knows.  And if he doesn't know about the boards, then he won't see anyone's comments.


Phil