Christian by Matthew Sanders - Short, Drama - A young boy says goodbye to the only friend he's ever known. 9 pages - pdf, format

I skipped from page 3 to the forest scene at the end. I think you spend too long showing us his bad school life and his bad home life.

You're also overwriting and telling us things we could never see on screen. Telling us a character's thoughts is not good enough, you need to show us what they're thinking through their actions.

Hey Dustin,

Thanks for the read. I've been involved with a creative writers club for a couple months now and I'm the only screenwriter in the group. Unfortunately, that normally equates to me writing a short story/screenplay hybrid to appease the others.

I know the formatting probably isn't perfect either, but that's also  something I'm working on.

I appreciate the feedback.

If I were you, I'd leave that group.