I was thinking... how important is clarity in a script? Most will say: "pretty important".

Looking at this forum and others online, it's quite obvious that there isn't a shortage of scripts floating around the world wide web. It's also very obvious that due to this huge supply of things to read, readers are quite impatient with the material they choose to read. Factor in the fact that you have to say enough with as less words as possible, the question emerges, can you afford to be subtle?

I'm not talking about it in dialogue. But in the storytelling aspect, how you tell the story on paper.

Example:
Lets say that you jump back and forth in a story.  Not in flashbacks, just a nonlinear storyline. Do you point out every time there is a change in the timeline or do you leave the reader to figure it out himself and then in the end go: "Ohhh, I get it now!". Do you think you can afford to gamble on him sticking around to try to figure it out?

That's just a random example.

Do you think you can play around with not revealing aspects of the story and what is going on directly? Do you think you have to be crystal clear in everything that goes on? Do you think you can risk trusting the reader to stick around to "get it" in the end?

Quoted from Demento But in the storytelling aspect, how you tell the story on paper.

These are actually two separate aspects, both require their own level of clarity and execution.

Nonlinear stories are often told that way because it optimizes the way the storytelling elements advance.  Miscues in clarity are often due to the fact the story shouldn't be told this way in the first place.

Not an easy question to answer.

^ Exactly what I was going to say. Just didn't finish my post in time.

Clarity and a complicated storyline are two different things. A story can be leave details out intentionally to obtain a certain effect, but still be clear.

Lack of clarity is just a result of poor storytelling. I don't think anyone would argue against its importance. It's when a writer knows something about the story, but forgets to convey it in the script. But that's different than intentionally leaving us in the dark.

Can't think of an examples right now... But take any good non-linear movie. Everything isn't explained right away, but you always know exactly what the writer intends you to know. It's not lazy.

And sometimes lack of clarity can even be used a narrative tool like in, for example, the flashbacks in Martha Marcy May Marlene, where the audience aren't always aware if what is happening has already happened in the past, or is currently happening in the present.

The aspect of writing where lack of clarity, in my opinion, can most hurt a story is in regards to character motivation. If a character has a valid reason for executing a specific behaviour/ achieving a specific goal, I will rarely question their actions (as long as they are not too preposterous). However, if their motivation is not properly established, I find this can really take me out of the story, as I'm spending time trying to work out why they are doing what they are doing, versus enjoying the words on the paper/ scenes on the screen.

Demento, this is a great, great question. I've struggled a lot with this in my work.

And I don't have an answer. It's true, people that read scripts miss things. And missing one important thing can ruin their understanding of the story. I disagree with Crooked that it necessarily comes down to poor storytelling. I mean Crooked is correct that that's the first place to look, to see if the story telling can be made clear...but the simple fact is that readers skim and skip and miss things. I've done it myself on other peoples work.

When it comes to specs, I think the need for clarity is even greater, because you can't count on anyone taking a careful read. And especially if it's a spec by an unknown writer. As an unknown writer, one doesn't have the benefit of the doubt that, say, Chris Nolan does.

If you write something that's subtle or complex, make sure to have really memorable scenes, the kind that leave us wanting more even if we're not sure about everything that's going on.

Another strategy is to layer your subtle aspects within a story which on the surface is really clear. For example, you might have powerful metaphors, but people should be able to appreciate the story even if they don't get them. Ideally there should be easy to grasp, primal things moving the story...and then maybe deeper things the audience can find on closer examination.

I used the nonlinear storyline example as just that, an example. I will go further into explaining what I mean by it.

Lets say the story is nonlinear. It happens during the course of one week. So we start on Friday, something is going to happen on Sunday, we're building towards Sunday.
From Friday we move to Sunday, linear.
But, we jump back every 6-7 pages to Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. This is done to clarify the plot, which we see in the end and it fits together beautifully. We spend 2-3 pages on those four days then we continue towards Sunday.
Now you don't want to give away that you are jumping back and forth so you get that "Ahhh, that was smart" moment the reader gets to feel when he figures out what you're doing and what the story means.

Audiences being as impatient as they are nowadays don't have a lot of attention to spare. This is even more true for script readers, who read a lot of material. People constantly say, you have to hook them and keep them hooked. Inciting incident must happen in the first 10 pages and so. Can you afford risking confusing the reader in order for your script to come of as clever?

Even Memento, part of the story that is a bit of a side story is shown in black and white to differentiate it from the rest of the film. Even in the script, it's pointed out that those scenes will be shot in black & white in order not to confuse the reader.

Again, I'm not talking about just nonlinear stories. I'm talking in general. Do you need to specify the name of every character that shows up, right away? Do you feel you have to add lines that hit at a state of thought (that might come into play later), something that might happen down the line and so on?

Is the reader suppose to be guided through the read or do you let him go through the maze alone? Is subtly the job of the director and something that needs to come of on film, but clarity is king on paper?

The thing is, the reader is not obligated to read your script. So the writer is taking one heck of a chance when he purposely confuses the reader, hoping that he will be intrigued enough to hang in there and try and figure it out.

Nolan was the writer and the director of  Memento. So he didn't have to worry about a reader. He did have to worry about the viewing audience, but that is not as hard.

You have to picture what the reader is in most situations: he's someone doing you a favor, or he is someone paid to slog through a pile of scripts for a contest or doing coverage. He's not reading for enjoyment...it's a chore. He just wants to get through it. He doesn't want it to be work.

If you go with something like this, it does force you to make sure there is constantly something hooking the reader...which is always good practice. But this is a hard way to do things, really hard and really risky.

The best thing to do... imo... is be your own man. Tell your stories the way you want to tell them and to hell with what anyone else thinks or does.

Funnily enough this is something I struggle with in scripts but not in novels.  Making things crystal clear to the reader is difficult, but doing it correctly without using the tired old expository dialogue sequence is tougher than the prior.

I guess you want to put it out there right away what the story is about and what drives your characters forward.  WITHOUT telling the reader directly and allowing the scenes to drive forward the clarification.  

Take this for example:

Orion finds a key, then a demon shows up and attacks him.

Not something I'd write usually, I'd go into more detail, but for the purpose of clarifying my point here I'll use it.

What does it tell you?  As a reader, you have to see the story not be told it.  In the scene I described, Orion has a key, but a demon shows up.  Ala the key is important somehow, therefore clarifying its importance by the appearance of the demon who needs it to do something else.

But why the key?  What's the point of it?

That's it.  Now the reader WANTS to know what the importance of the key is, so they'll keep going.  

I often find it's wise to clarify the plot within the first 10 pages.  I used to be an idiot and wait 50 before telling anyone, by which time I'd lost readers because they had no idea where the plot was going.

The above SCENE should be used within the first 10.  It's the catalyst, the clarification, and it's subtle too, without exposing its true purpose too early, leaving you (the writer) time to craft your story around it and the reader something to think about.

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Past, Present, Future:

Just clarify it straight away in your slug-line.  Say "EXT. SOMEWHERE OUTSIDE (PAST)" right away so the reader's not confused where this scene takes place.

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I never used to abide by the "hook in 10 pages" rule but it does work.  Having something for your reader to look forward to is great, especially if it comes out in the opening scenes that this "thing" is important somehow.

Try not to be confusing in the opening 10.  

I've been at this for a few years now, well enough to know that confusing readers can often lend itself to zero reads or confused reviews.

I remember reviews on my Fracture script (not here anymore) that stated how confused some of my readers were in regards to the plot not actually coming out until Page 80/90, even though I provided subtle hints throughout that went unnoticed.

The trick is to hook the reader in the first 10.  Another script I posted here (Hallowed Throne) received some positive feedback as I explicitly stated in the first 5 pages what the plot was about (some amulet thing) and it was in medias res, meaning it happens later in the story and things build to that point.  Readers liked it because they knew where the plot was going.

Now, I'm not saying "tease your reader with the end at the beginning" by any means, but this taught me a lot when it comes to writing scripts.

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Be crystal clear at the start, but keep certain details out.  Add a plot device, but don't say exactly what it does.  

You can provide clarity while being subtle.  Just be careful not to be too exposing.

-Lee

P.S. Zombies, sci-fi, action, drama even -- all can have hooks in the first 10/20.  Where did the zombies come from and what created them?  What happened to humanity after the nukes fell?  Who is this organization that just stole weapons of mass destruction and for what purpose to they require them?  This girl has a gun under her pillow, why?

Quoted from Leegion I've been at this for a few years now, well enough to know that confusing readers can often lend itself to zero reads or confused reviews. I remember reviews on my Fracture script (not here anymore) that stated how confused some of my readers were in regards to the plot not actually coming out until Page 80/90, even though I provided subtle hints throughout that went unnoticed. The trick is to hook the reader in the first 10.  Another script I posted here (Hallowed Throne) received some positive feedback as I explicitly stated in the first 5 pages what the plot was about (some amulet thing) and it was in medias res, meaning it happens later in the story and things build to that point.  Readers liked it because they knew where the plot was going.

Just curious. Out of those two scripts which one did YOU like more?

Quoted Text imo... is be your own man. Tell your stories the way you want to tell them and to hell with what anyone else thinks or does.

...that's about as useful as "just do it, dude!" or "just write, baby!"

Lee's points are worth heeding. You have to hook someone, and the clock is ticking on that. If you haven't hooked the reader by a certain point, you're in trouble.

Some quick points:

- there's a fine line between something that sparks intrigue and mystery and something that just confuses the reader. That's why you need good readers. And that's why it helps to have several readers...people will have different reactions.

- I've read a few scripts now that, in the style of Memento, are not done in sequence. One of them was actually decent. Keep in mind that there are a lot of those scripts floating around...you don't gain much in novelty anymore. And make sure you have a story telling reason for going in non chronological order...not just to be clever.

For example, in Pulp Fiction, the opening in the diner was a quick way for QT to set the tone. The hitman scene is more ponderous, so maybe that's why it was not used first.

- There's a guy over at another blog who has 2 commandments for screenplays: thou shalt not bore, and thou shalt not confuse.

- no one's telling you not to think outside the box...I always encourage that. I'm just saying confusion in the reader is like the third rail in screenwriting. It's a huge risk to run up against, And like Lee, I know from experience. My third script got optioned(fell through later), but even the guy who bought it and set up a kickstarter page for it did not really understand the story. I've tried to avoid doing that now...I try to be clearer. I still have an inclination toward complicated plots, subtle dialogue, and use of metaphor...and it usually gets me in trouble. So I try to have a main plot that's easy enough to follow, and layer some other stuff that can be found on deeper look.

You're asking good questions! That's a good start!

Demento,

Memento is a non-linear whodunit mystery. Actually, I don't find the movie and the script all that confusing. Now and then the jumping back and forth can be. But it's a pretty straight forward what the guy is doing. By 3-4 pages we have a good idea of the character, his goal, the premise, etc. Just because it's non-linear, doesn't mean you can just toss these things out the window. Unless you're talking about David Lynch confusing, I can't help you there.

-J.S.

Quoted from Demento Just curious. Out of those two scripts which one did YOU like more?

Both have their merits, but I enjoyed Hallowed Throne much more.  Felt more streamlined and developed.  And it was a blast to write.

Quoted from J.S. Demento, Memento is a non-linear whodunit mystery. Actually, I don't find the movie and the script all that confusing. Now and then the jumping back and forth can be. But it's a pretty straight forward what the guy is doing. By 3-4 pages we have a good idea of the character, his goal, the premise, etc. Just because it's non-linear, doesn't mean you can just toss these things out the window. Unless you're talking about David Lynch confusing, I can't help you there. -J.S.

I used Memento as an example, because of the side story he tells about the character of Sammy. The movie comes back to him telling the story over the phone to someone, on and off, during the course of the movie. It's done so in a way to separate it from the rest of the movie. In the script the slugs specify - BLACK AND WHITE SEQUENCE. I would assume this is done to separate those scenes from the rest of the movie/script. It would be more confusing if they weren't in black and white, because the rest of the movie is going backwards in time.

Memento is a great very well structured movie. I just used it as an example on how it tried to clear some things up, to separate those scenes from the rest of the movie to avoid confusion. Black and white scenes go forward in time, rest of the movie goes backwards.  

Again. I'm not talking about one thing in particular (nonlinear storytelling) or a particular movie. I'm asking opinions on the subject of clarity. Do you think by going the way of clarity you sacrifice other aspects of your storytelling that hurt the script's overall quality?

I'm just trying to stir up some discussion on the board. Things have been a bit quiet.

Quoted from KevinLenihan ...that's about as useful as "just do it, dude!" or "just write, baby!" Lee's points are worth heeding. You have to hook someone, and the clock is ticking on that. If you haven't hooked the reader by a certain point, you're in trouble.

I was responding to the question in the title... which doesn't make any mention of hooks. The title of the thread suggests this thread is about subtlety over clarity (and vice-versa). IMO, one should write their story whichever way they want to.