We Should Talk by Zara - Short, Dramedy - WE SHOULD TALK, centers around the tumultuous relationship of what would seem like the perfect couple and their close knit of loony friends. 6 pages - pdf, format

Zara

Nice little work. Would it be better if you actually had the friend interrupt? Better than a phone call?  

A few formatting issues which should be easily fixed

Best

Richard

Zara,

Not a bad attempt. A few things worth noting, though:

1. I don't think height is generally worth including in a screenplay. Unless it's important that a character be exactly 6'4" (and in this case it's not), I'd recommend just writing "tall".

2. You should probably introduce Jean Claude as JEAN "JC" CLAUDE (or just JC) if you plan to use the nickname throughout the script. Also, try introducing your characters with some sort of action: "MADISON WELLS (brunette, bubbly personality) walks into the cafe".

3. This may seem a little nitpicky, but "we should talk" isn't really a question. JC isn't asking if they should talk, he's saying "we need to do this". It's a statement, so it should end with a period.

Now, technical stuff aside, let's talk about the story itself. All in all, not too bad. Madison certainly comes across as being very annoying, which does well to explain why JC cheated on her.

The ending feels a little random, though. You need to set it up a bit. Maybe JC gets a text from Simonetta prior to Madison coming in? "Have you told her yet?", something like that. Anything to let use know that this character exists prior to her coming through that door.

The one big flaw for me was, how does the audience know Madison is JC's girlfriend?  You announce in the script, "MADISON WALKS INTO THE CAFE, SHE NOTICES HER BOY FRIEND
SEATED ON A TABLE,HIS FACE BURIED IN A NEWSPAPER," but I didn't pick up any point where they reveal this through dialogue or action.  The nature of their relationship isn't adequately established.

Otherwise it was well done.  The dialogue was entertainiing and the situation, if the characters are made clear, ends with a nice twist.