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The Elevator Belonging To Alice - Semi Final Bluecat, Runner Up Nashville Inner Journey - Page Awards Finalist - Bluecat semi final Grieving Spell - winner - London Film Awards. Third - Honolulu Ultimate Weapon - Fresh Voices - second place IMDb link... http://www.imdb.com/name/nm7062725/?ref_=tt_ov_wr
Didn't mind this one. It did feel quite familiar, but it was unique enough that I could definitely see it being filmed. It will probably be snapped up quick once 'It' is relased and everyone wants to make a killer clown film. The twist didn't hold out right to the end but it was still a good reveal when it clicked.
One nit pick, I didn't like this description, it just felt clunky:
The scenario felt a little familiar out of the gate but I warmed to this as the intent behind Timmy’s list became apparent. A second read makes this all the more sinister.
A couple of things that stood out:
‘The door opens and TIMMY’S MOM enters. 40, with 40 face and a body that shows several births.’
Nitpick, but this line stands out from the rest for the awkward phrasing surrounding the age. Sure there’s a smoother way to write this. I’m not sure what ‘a body that shows several births’ would look like - at least not with clothes on and even then I’m not sure I’m qualified...
The question of why Timmy would go along with Remee could do with underpinning. Something to suggest he’s completely under the clown’s control or some such angle to help the story logic. Why would he let this clown eat his family?
REMEE Don’t blame me. You were the one who said the words.
TIMMY I didn’t believe they would work.
I like this hint as to the ‘why’. I almost want to know more. Are these words linked to the death of the sisters only - like a trigger, or the whole reason behind Remee’s ‘existence’?
Creepy clown, good sense of mystery driving it along, shoestring appeal. I think you’ve got something good here. I’d be surprised if it wasn’t picked up. Best of luck.