The Falling Fandango by Mark Tunney - Short, Drama - Bob, a man that has things in life figured out so well. But his plan soon gets turned upside down, and finds himself as a Falling Fandango. - fdr format.

k, um...on account of a someone else, i'm posting here.
first of all, your story is pretty weak...the actual plot and sequence of events, i mean.
unless you were going for mega surrealism or some type of artistic contradiction, i would try to revise that.  also, add some more character, rationality, intelligence, and style to your characters, which to me at least, are also very shaky.

aside from that, well.....i guess i won't complain.

except of course for the last line about golden grahams...i uh...didn't get it    lol

Right off the bat, the mispellings greatly detracted from my reading.  In order to make a script look professional, you generally want to capitalize, spell check and punctuate accordingly.  In any other case, it would be trashed just for that little oversight.

I have no idea how to envision Susanne or Jack.  You gave a great description for Bob, but then you left the other two hanging.  Who are these people?

Sorry but I gotta concur with Shaman on this one.  Aside from the storyline, the characters just kind of react versus acting to what is occurring.  Frankly I didn't care whether or not anyone was killed because my sympathies were never invoked.  I would work on making them more likeable.  Susanne's dialogue is a bit unrealistic and Jack just...annoys.

Where was this golden grahams line?

...wasn't it at the end?  oh...sorry if it isn't all!

i read a first draft of this...maybe it's gone now.

Boy o Boy, what can I say, This script is probably -- no IS the worst script i've ever read. Marc, what are you thinking, get serious or get out. A script like that shouldn't even be on this site, it should be rotting in an outhouse. Thank you.

...you serious, Jackal?

I'm not gonna defend this script's artistic merit, because I personally agree with Lesley and Shaman.  However, I am going to defend the writer.  Refer to the rules, Jackal my man...it's customary to say WHY a script sucks, not just that it does.  So...chill out dude...no need to be so hot to trot.

Which leads me right into why I didn't like this script.  It has conflict, and that's good.  But frankly, the conflict wasn't real.  There's no sort of characterization, and since the script starts during the third act, we know nothing.  Your story should start when your protagonist's life is normal...and then something causes him to change.  Now, I realize this is a short, but we've got no frame of reference, so the actions and conflicts just seem random.

I didn't like it.  I didn't see any Golden Grahams.