In which the writers had a week to write a short comedy script on the theme of losing one's job.


You Win Some, You Lose Some by Tyler Higgins - Short, Comedy -  Losing your job can have hard effects on your whole family, especially your kids. <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Pinkslip by jekitchell (jeffrey) - Short, Comedy - No summary.  <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Axeing the Zombie by James Moen (dethan) - Short, Comedy -  Jake has been fired from his job as a zombie extra but like any good zombie he won't go away. < 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

The Resignation by Matthew Orobko ("mattman") - Short, Comedy - A man quits his job. <15 pages - doc, format 8)

John Must Go by Michael Cornetto - Short, Comedy - Faced with a choice between telling his wife that he lost his job or committing suicide, a man opts for the latter.  <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Unconditional by Jonathan Terry - Short, Comedy -  Richard Linkard, a former business man who just lost his job, must find a way to keep his wife calm (and sedated) during one of her "bad days." < 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

H.A.N.D.S. by Robert Skotte (sniper) - Short, Comedy - A doctor gets fired.  Here's why. <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Oh Sh*t! by Matias Caruso (mr. z) - Short, Comedy - A down on his luck liar is forced to reveal some awful truths to his oversensitive pregnant wife and her violent cop sister. < 15
pages - pdf, format 8)

Tall Tales by T.J. Hundtofte (death monkey) - Short, Comedy - A man contemplates the best way to tell his wife he's lost his job. < 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Workhorse by James McClung - Short, Comedy - Everyone seems to push Howard around but one cup of coffee is about to change the life of this office workhorse. <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Kryptonite by Chris Shalom (heretic) - Short, Comedy - Hey, EVERYone has to lose their job.  Even the guy in the tights. <15 pages - rtf, format 8)

Another Day, Another Dollar by Sean Elwood - Short, Comedy - After being fired from her job, Madeline searches for another one. She finally finds one with high pay, but first, she has to talk to her husband. <15 pages - doc, format 8)

When Duty Flees by Mike Shelton - Short, Comedy - When Jerry tells his wife that he's suddenly lost his job, they band together and do the only thing they can...go looking for it. <15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Covert Careers by Pia Tomson - Short, Comedy - A married young couple has to come to terms with their own lies and deceit. < 15 pages - pdf, format 8)

Don, just to let you know, I liked the email you sent to those who submitted for the OWC. It made me chuckle.

I can't wait to read these!

Sean

Quoted from Zombie Sean Don, just to let you know, I liked the email you sent to those who submitted for the OWC. It made me chuckle.

Well, I know you entered.  HaHaHa.

Quoted from Zombie Sean Don, just to let you know, I liked the email you sent to those who submitted for the OWC. It made me chuckle. I can't wait to read these! Sean

To bring everyone in on the joke, my notification email,

"Just a quick note to let you know that your script for the One Week Exercise
is up at: http://www.simplyscripts.com/unpro_short_exercise_04_07.html
There were twenty five entries of which 15 were posted.  The rest were, to
put it mildly, a mess.  You you all get an extra 5 points for speling,
punctuation; grammaring and,  not using capitalization in a totally raNdoM
manner."

To those foks who didn't make the cut I did send them an email pointing out at a high level what they needed to do to bring their script up to snuff.  I'm a little more critical of the scripts for the OWE since the purpose of the exercise is to not only produce a script quickly, but also produce a script quickly that would pass muster in the industry (i.e., correctly formatted, spelling checked, punctuation and grammar in a generally agreed upon standard.  NOTE: Rejection or Acceptance of the script had nothing to do with the content of the script or the story.  You could have had the very best story in the bunch, however it was hidden by the structural problems.  

Don

Quoted from Shelton Well, I know you entered.  HaHaHa.

Yeah, but even if I didn't tell you, I bet you could still find out which one I wrote.
:)
Sean

I'm guessing "Oh Sh*t" based on your fascination with foul language and inappropriate behavior.

More clarification:  All of the entries were from members of the discussion board.

Don

I know which one zombie sean wrote, and it's not "Oh Sh*t".

Quoted from Zack I know which one zombie sean wrote, and it's not "Oh Sh*t".

There was a little bit of a joke in my previous post, Zack.

Go read and comment.

"There was a little bit of a joke in my previous post, Zack."-Mike

i know Mike, i'm not that stupid... i think...

Don, you crack me up.

Regarding the names used this month.  This month's names of authors (until the real authors are revealed) are from a short story which is a favorite of mine.  This short story was made into a movie and is the one case, in my mind, where the movie was better than the source material.  The names were randomly selected is all cases but two where the submitter picked their own pseudonym.

Don  

Yes!  I've read them all.

Well that was fast mike.  Read them again and make comments on them for me so I get brownie points for reading even though I didnt submit.

I've read three entries so far and so far, so good. Quality stuff. Nice turnout this time around. Better than last time. I was worried this one would be lacking entries. Glad to see that's not the case. I'm also glad to see the numbers of pages were omitted this time around. I've noticed in the past OWC that scripts on the longer side don't get as much attention as those on the shorter side, I just never thought to mention it. Personally, I think it's better this way. Every script gets an equal shot at getting read this way. It's up to the loglines to hook readers this time around, as should be the case. Not sure who came up with that one but I think it was a good idea.

Finally got through all of them. Nice work everybody.  The quality was generally good but there was subjectively a lack of comedy and objectively lots of prostitutes.  

In my opinion this was a difficult OWE and it would be good to go back to the genre/theme type requirements.  

Okay, I think I've read them all now. Got to double check, but I'm pretty sure.

This was by far the most quiet OWC that I can remember. No buzz, no nothing and no guessing? I think that dragged the mood down a little...

As far as guessing goes, I have no idea who wrote what. I have a feeling there were some new people participating.

Anyway, good job everyone. :-)

I think I'm still missing one or two reads, but I'll get around to it today methinks.

So when are the true identities of the participants revealed?

I agree with Pia. The lack of enthusiasm this time around was a little disconcerting. Eh, I guess it's because the whole thing has become kind of a regular occurrence around here. Oh well. I still enjoy it. As for guessing, I'm keeping my thoughts to myself this time around. I honestly have little idea who wrote what. Mike's is the only one that I'm 100% on. His script is about as obvious as one of Helio's (unless someone's impersonating him, haha). I'd hate to be wrong about that one. I have my suspicions which scripts Pia, Sean, and Spencer (if he participated) wrote but other than that I have no idea.

My scripts always seem to get tagged right away, except in the Western challenge.  I don't think anybody guessed that one.  What makes it so obvious?

" His script is about as obvious as one of Helio's (unless someone's impersonating him, haha). " - James

Hey James just if they were written by Bob Benton, Will Goldman, David Mamet or Terry Rossio, otherwise what you said don't reveals the truth, dude!

Quoted Text I have my suspicions which scripts Pia, Sean, and Spencer (if he participated) wrote but other than that I have no idea.

If you're thinking about that "Axeing the Zombie" script, guess again. I'll give everyone a hint...And a pretty big one, too...

Out of two scripts there commented as "not funny" in most of the comments, mine was one of the two. Now go search, it won't be too hard.

And if this isn't the time to be giving hints, well, it might as well be. It's all ready been a week since the OWC scripts were put up.

Sean

Mine was one of the least read, I think.  :'(

Oh well, it was my first attempt at comedy. Probably my last too.  ;D

Hmmm.  15 scripts, only 3 of which actually hit the 14 post mark.  Interesting.

Damnit I'm still missing two but I can't remember which ones. Now I have to check all the treads.


And if we're supposed to leave hints I might as well join in: Mine had distracting format errors.

Quoted from Zombie Sean If you're thinking about that "Axeing the Zombie" script, guess again. I'll give everyone a hint...And a pretty big one, too... Out of two scripts there commented as "not funny" in most of the comments, mine was one of the two. Now go search, it won't be too hard. And if this isn't the time to be giving hints, well, it might as well be. It's all ready been a week since the OWC scripts were put up. Sean

And mine is the other.

Oh well, you win some you lose some.

I will be reading everyones this weekend, my junior theme is do on froday, so I'll be free by then.

Quoted from Shelton My scripts always seem to get tagged right away, except in the Western challenge.  I don't think anybody guessed that one.  What makes it so obvious?

Usually, it's your style that people pick up on but it was different this time around. The story itself, I recognized as yours and the title sounded like one of yours. I think saying anymore would give you away.

Quoted from Helio Hey James just if they were written by Bob Benton, Will Goldman, David Mamet or Terry Rossio, otherwise what you said don't reveals the truth, dude!

I meant unless someone is impersonating Mike. I'll keep those names in mind for next time though, haha.

Quoted from Zombie Sean If you're thinking about that "Axeing the Zombie" script, guess again. I'll give everyone a hint...And a pretty big one, too... Out of two scripts there commented as "not funny" in most of the comments, mine was one of the two. Now go search, it won't be too hard. And if this isn't the time to be giving hints, well, it might as well be. It's all ready been a week since the OWC scripts were put up. Sean

I actually wasn't thinking Axeing The Zombie although the one I thought was yours, I did think is funny and so did a lot of other people so I guess I'm wrong.

Quoted from tomson Mine was one of the least read, I think.  :'( Oh well, it was my first attempt at comedy. Probably my last too.  ;D

Wrong again.

Mine is a really peachey one.

I haven't gotten through all of them yet either. I will though.
Everyone probably knows which one was mine, too.
Some liked it, some didn't.
Cindy

Mine has <15 pages.

Quoted from Higgonaitor And mine is the other. Oh well, you win some you lose some. I will be reading everyones this weekend, my junior theme is do on froday, so I'll be free by then.

Oh Higgs, what are we to do?

Well, at least I know which one you wrote now. Good try anyways! It's better to try, anyways...Wow, I'm such a hipocrite. And I probably just spelled that wrong, too...

Sean

Quoted from sniper Mine is a really peachey one.

Somebody's got some catching up to do, and I suspect you wrote one of the "higher read" scripts.

Hey Sniper,

Just a friendly note. One big way of making yourself less popular is submitting a script, but not reading any yourself. :-)

Cyndi,
I guess I can't pick you out yet. I have no idea which one you wrote.

Mike I'm pretty sure about, but that's the only one.

I didn't submit a script.  I wasn't able to finsh "Ali Baba lost his Job-ba" in time.

Please stop pseudo-guessing me.

Quoted from Shelton Somebody's got some catching up to do

Sure, when I find the time.

Okay,it's been what, twelve days now. No one is reading, no one is guessing.

I guess nine reads is all I'm going to get. No that was not a plea, just a statement.

Why don't we all just fess up?

I'm dying to straighten some people out about horse breeding since there seem to have a huge misunderstanding. Probably has something to do with how I told the story.  ;D

Pia, I'll be reading yours this weekend...

People should still feel free to reveal themselves though.

I think that was all of them for me. I didn't go through them just now, but at a glance I think I've read and left feedback for 'em all.

I might as well just come clean and claim authorship to Tall Tales.

I'd like to hear about Pia's horse breeding though? :)

I'm gonna fess up too and tell those who couldn't guess my script from my hint I gave. I'm ebarrassed to say that I was the one who wrote Another Day, Another Dollar.

But comedy isn't my thing, and, to tell yous guys the truth, I wrote it in about an hour during art class. :B

Sean

I read all the ones I could open.

I wrote Axeing the Zombie monday morning.  So if you think you owe me a read you finally have something to read.  Not really sure I want this to be peoples first impression of my writing though.  I don't write zombie movies or relationship comedies.  And I didn't spend that much time on it. Oh well.

Dethan

Quoted from Zombie Sean I'm gonna fess up too and tell those who couldn't guess my script from my hint I gave. I'm ebarrassed to say that I was the one who wrote Another Day, Another Dollar. But comedy isn't my thing, and, to tell yous guys the truth, I wrote it in about an hour during art class. :B Sean

I thought that one might be yours after you mentioned people didn't think yours was funny. My initial guess was John Must Die.

I'm going to hold out on revealing for a little longer (considering I've read all of them, it should be obvious I wrote one myself). It's been more than a week. I think the names will be revealed soon. Nevertheless, I'll take some guesses...

Mike wrote When Duty Flees.

Pia wrote Covert Careers (my initial guess was Focus until you said you only got nine reads; the other two just didn't seem like yours).

Tyler wrote You Win Some, You Lose Some.

Spencer (if he entered) wrote Tall Tales.

I'm not sure about the rest.

I want to take some guesses.

You Win Some, You Lose Some     Higgonaitor
Another Day, Another Dollar           Zombie Sean
When Duty Flees                          Wes
Covert Careers                             Pia
Axeing The Zombie                       Dethan
Tall Tales                                     Death Monkey
H.A.N.D.S                                     ??????????????
Focus                                           Cindy L. Keller


Humm... I just can't figure out the rest of them. I did read them all, but didn't leave comments on all of them because others had said what I was thinking.

Cindy

Quoted from Zombie Sean I'm gonna fess up too and tell those who couldn't guess my script from my hint I gave. I'm ebarrassed to say that I was the one who wrote Another Day, Another Dollar. But comedy isn't my thing, and, to tell yous guys the truth, I wrote it in about an hour during art class. :B Sean

Yeah.  I'm worse off because comedy is supposed to be my thing.  In my defense, i wrote it after getting off the plane in South carolina to visit y sister at her college.  I realized that she had microsoft word and i actually could do it.  Unfortunately i had abjout 45 minutes left.  Thats why it was the way it is, I hope.

Or I could just say that it's art and you just don't get it.

I think Sniper wrote H.A.N.D.S.


Higgs,

My last blog entry on MySpace actually dealt with Comedy being the one genre where more often than not you're called out about it being funny or not, basically accomplishing what the writer set out to do.

Anyway, shameless blog plug.  Link is below.  :)

James' guesses for Mike, Tyler, and Pia are the same as mine.

I actually managed to enter this one.  So far, no-one's guessed me.  Ha!

Quoted from Shelton I didn't submit a script.  I wasn't able to finsh "Ali Baba lost his Job-ba" in time. Please stop pseudo-guessing me.

Quoted from Heretic James' guesses for Mike, Tyler, and Pia are the same as mine. I actually managed to enter this one.  So far, no-one's guessed me.  Ha!

I'm going to guess you wrote Kryptonite. My second guess would be Oh Shit! but your review of that one would suggest otherwise. Then again, a few people have gotten good at leaving convincing reviews for their own scripts so I wouldn't count that one out entirely. Still, first guess would be Kryptonite.

Since I outed myself, can I go thank everyone for their reads?  I'm unsure of the proper protocol.

Dethan

Don's posted the names so go for it. I can't imagine thanking people for reading your script would be frowned upon, unless, of course, that's the way you choose to out yourself.

Got me, James.  And cheers for the vote of confidence since you liked the script haha.

This OWC kind of sucked for me. I got nine reads. Most were somewhat positive, but I read all 15 submitted ones.

I guess that's what I get for not writing a winner. haha

Don't mean to sound cranky, but.......

.

I am, obviously, not done reading the scripts, and feel terrible that it is taking so long. I've just been so busy as of late.  I hope you know that I'm good for it Pia, and will read yours soon.

Quoted from Higgonaitor I am, obviously, not done reading the scripts, and feel terrible that it is taking so long. I've just been so busy as of late.  I hope you know that I'm good for it Pia, and will read yours soon.

No no, you're fine.  :)

I was just a little disappointed in general with this OWC. Like James (I think) said, there was a just lack of enthusiasm this time. I'm not sure why, but it just made the whole thing less fun.

Maybe the next one will be more energetic.

Quoted from tomson Don't mean to sound cranky, but.......

If I had played this time, I would be.

And I wouldn't make any apologies for it, either.

Just glancing over these threads, I can tell you that had I been a participant, there are at least three threads where I would go back and delete my review.

I would encourage all of you to do the same.  I know one of 'em has been here for years -- posting on his own stuff -- and has yet to read one script.  And now he's taking up space on the OWC.

Take that guy's thread down to zero, if you ask me.

I don't even need to name names.  I am sure the participants know exactly who I am talking about.

Quoted from bert I know one of 'em has been here for years -- posting on his own stuff -- and has yet to read one script.  And now he's taking up space on the OWC. Take that guy's thread down to zero, if you ask me.

I'd delete my review but I assume this guy already read it and moved on. Is there any chance that he gets his name posted right away in the next OWC? Writers who use anonymity to get free reads shouldn't be able to benefit from it any more.

I'm actually not mad. Each new OWC seems to have less nonposters and nonmembers and more participating members. Looking back at, say, the Western challenge, I'd call this an improvement. Sure, there's still a leech or two here and there but the way I see it, the fewer, the better. They've always been around and they'll never go away completely no matter how hard you try but one is certainly preferable to six or seven. Besides, active members always get more reads in the end.