Grief Counselor by Christine Whitlock - Short, Comedy - Death’s closure can be twisted. When a family returns to the funeral home to collect their deceased relative’s ashes, they encounter inappropriate actions. 4 pages - pdf, format 8)

Christine, I'm at a little bit of a loss to see the humour here... unless this is played VERY slapstick, a la Marx Borthers then I'm not sure an audience would see the funny side...

And if you are going for slapstick I think you need to notch it up and make it obvious.

Anthony

Christine,

Lazy way to introduce the family characters. You have a lot of examples of sentence run. Seperate the thoughts with periods.

"Bobby rushes to the door and thrusts his business card in
each of the Crumpets’ hands."

Thrusting business cards are so hawt.