2nd Draft Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2WC

Edited:

The 2nd Draft Scripts of the Scarefest Script Club 2 Week Challenge are up.  Reader will be allowed to vote for a reader's choice.  http://simplyscripts.com/WritersChoice-SSC2WC.html

One vote per person, you must put your name and email address on the voting slip. Please no campaigning.  Open only to discussion board members. There are no prizes, it is just a challenge.

Apologies for the delay getting these up.  Had issues with the FTP

- Don

Red Rover by Dena McKinnon - Short, Monster Horror - A single mother battling with an autistic child moves to a new town for a fresh start but finds herself in a town with a sinister secret of its own.  14 pages - pdf, format

Demon in the Sack by Vin Conzo - Short, Monster, Cannibal Horror, Comedy - A frazzled man recounts the events of a terrifying date to his immature co-workers. 14 pages - pdf, format

Immortal Enmity by Dan Campisi - Short, Monster Horror - A monster seeks revenge against the man who accidentally imprisoned it years ago when he was a child. - pdf, format

American Cannibal by Steven Wood - Short, Cannibal Horror - After not taken seriously when confessing to a string of horrendous murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking. 11 pages - pdf, format

A Cut Above the Rest by Chris Bodily - Short, Cannibal Horror, Pod, Clone, Science Fiction - A food critic uncovers the dark truth about a burger joint that has never gotten one bad review... or else. 12 pages - pdf, format

Kosher by Cameron Dueker - Short, Cannibal Horror - Kosher - A late night pit stop for a young couple turns deadly at a local deli when the kitchen runs outs of pastrami.  16 pages - pdf, format

Berserkers by John Staats - Short, Cannibal Horror  - Too much gluten can be hazardous to your health. - pdf, format

Cry No More by Pedro Schreier writing as ThE StOryTelleR - Short, Monster, Cannibal Horror - Something is on the move. It leaves a bloody massacre in every place it went through. The only clue a research team found -  is a mysterious boy. What they don't know - they're already lost. - pdf, format

Only 8 entries? Damn...that sucks.

I really wanted to partake, but just ran out of steam early on.

I'm already reading, though, and will do my best to help...but please understand, as always, I will not be pulling my punches, and will give true, honest feedback...which some may not appreciate.

Quoted from Dreamscale

That's the best kind of feedback!

I'll give em all a look. Feel free to destroy mine for basically being an immature comedy. all notes are welcome. I stretched the parameters as an excuse to just write.

Quoted from Conz

I'll give em all a look. Feel free to destroy mine for basically being an immature comedy. all notes are welcome. I stretched the parameters as an excuse to just write.

Which one did you write?

EDIT: Nevermind, I see it now.

I'll read em all. see if i can "find a groove" later tonight

I will read them all. I am at work today so I am having to sneak some reading in. :) But I promise to give notes on each one.

Have to say I am surprised only this many.... or is the Don just posting a handful at a time maybe? :)

Eight scripts? How wonderfully manageable. Will read them all in due time.

Yea, I went through a few but I need to read the others.

Thanks for getting these up Don. :)

And Thanks to all who took part. Can't wait to read what you've come up with.

~Zack~

Quoted from Pale Yellow

Have to say I am surprised only this many.... or is the Don just posting a handful at a time maybe? :)

Yes, only eight (8). Not surprised. It's off schedule, we are trying something new, and the genre is pretty narrow. The record for fewest was Gay Star Trek where we only got five.

I like it when we get a few entries as that gives each script a lot of eyes.

Don

OMG Gay Star Trek... cool parameters :)

I rather like it with small amount of entries... I've already gotten some great notes ... great idea.

"Gay Star Trek" made me almost spill my beer, lol, thx. I take it it has a historical period parameter, or a gangster experimental theme

Hey, I'd like to list a suggestion/complaint.

We just had our scripts loaded yesterday, and have been reading the others' shorts, and commenting on our own.  Shouldn't we be given a full 7 days to consider what to do with our stories?

I mean, we're down to 5 days already and I haven't had a chance to consider mine b/c I've been reading the others.  I'm sure the other 7 feel the same way.

If we do this again, I'd like to ask for a 48 hr grace period to allow Don to upload the scripts and to give us a chance to read them.  Then, after the 2 day grace period, start the clock.

Any other ideas how to deal with this?

Thanks
Dan

I'm not sure hat happened here, but it seems like these are all comedies or pissers. I have 1 to go, and I can't recall a single horror script.

Weird...

It's hard to do a real horror in 15 pages. And cannibal is so limiting, I think that played a huge factor.

Dan

Oh, Jeff, I sent you a message to your box on SS. Just wanted to make sure you see it.

Quoted from DanC

Oh, Jeff, I sent you a message to your box on SS. Just wanted to make sure you see it.

Got it. Will respond later, bro.

Quoted from Dreamscale

I'm not sure hat happened here, but it seems like these are all comedies or pissers. I have 1 to go, and I can't recall a single horror script.

This is more my fault I think. I left the parameters a little too open. Lol

~Zack~

I would've taken part Zack, you know it. I've just been TOO busy lately. Been babysitting my three month old grandson and had a new granddaughter arrive yesterday! :) Not to mention some really huge writing related things going on. ;)

Super stoked Dena managed to get one in. She can be a machine! :)

Made it by the skin of my teeth ...or knuckles Pia!

Congrats on the new granddaughter :) And the HUGE writing things going on. :)

Quoted from Zack

This is more my fault I think. I left the parameters a little too open. Lol

~Zack~

Zach, I am surprised that you haven read or commented on any.

I have a question. What are the rules for the rewrite? Can I turn this into a prologue? The biggest issue is that it goes from being less abolished enmity and more about the original story title City in Fear.

Thanx
Dan

Quoted from DanC

Zach, I am surprised that you haven read or commented on any.

Trust me, I'm getting to it. Had my car impounded a couple of days ago and am going through hell trying to get it back. :( Sorry for the delay guys.

~Zack~

Really wanted to do this but I just didn't get the time, Zack. I started one and struggled for a few days then time ran out. Typically, a day later I came up with a better idea lol.

Quoted from alffy

Really wanted to do this but I just didn't get the time, Zack. I started one and struggled for a few days then time ran out. Typically, a day later I came up with a better idea lol.

It's all good Anthony. Take that idea and run with it. At least now you have no restrictions.

I'll be going through the scripts tonight. Looks like you guys have already got a lot of really good feedback. I hope you use the feedback and strengthen your script with the rewrite. Remember, the next draft is due in by 12 Midnight eastern time on March 1st. Looking forward to seeing what you guys have come up with and, again, sorry for the delay. :)

~Zack~

I've submitted the rewrite.

I've taken a lot of the comments to heart.  You were right.  It's too hard to cut 70+ pages and still flesh out the story.

So, I've written a prologue.  It gets everyone set up for the movie, explains why the kids care so much.

It's kinds self-contained, but, people will hate the ending.

I hope you like it better and can't wait to read everyone's submission and get and give good feedback.

I just hope you guys can see the potential with the story.  I know I might not express it that well, but, do see a lot for the idea.

Thanks again
Dan

I think I'm about ready to submit my final draft. I've done as much as I could, at least I believe so. Curious to see the new comments.

Quoted from Steven

I think I'm about ready to submit my final draft. I've done as much as I could, at least I believe so. Curious to see the new comments.

You know, so am I.

Steven, you know, you could go to fan sites, perhaps there's a section that allows you to submit fan fiction and you could have other fans read the screenplay.

Who knows, I've even heard of jobs coming from that.  I certainly wouldn't expect that, but, it sure would be cool.

I'm afraid to do any fan fiction merely b/c it's such an investment of time, and the odds that they will okay it are slim to none.  I have an idea for both the Legend of Korra and Frozen.  And I know they have "ended" the Korra/Last Airbender universe and based on my other stories, could you ever see Disney letting me near Frozen?

Which is too bad b/c I do think both ideas are pretty solid.

getting back to you, I'd go that route.  Your short was pretty good.  However, as I said, I did read a lot of stuff on Wikipedia about the movie and book, and I hope you close the short in the spirit of the written or visual text (meaning was it all real, or a delusion?).

Dan

Quoted from DanC

Thanks for the info, I'll gladly do some research.

I changed my submission around drastically - names and locations (still NYC), removal of VO, scene arrangement, etc.

It's the same story, just told in a different way. I like the idea of a domineering, or haughty protagonist. Mix that with a little bit of humor, whether it be from a supporting cast or just the situation, and something good will come out of it.

I'm trying to nail this guy's personality, then insert him into different situations and write a scene around those situations.

Just submitted my rewrite. This is my third draft.

I make it clearer that Victor is the focal point, while Chuck assumes a Hicks/Hudson/Bishop "breakout hero" role. (And speaking of Hudson, RIP Bill Paxton.) I added three more employees to the climax, and more cannibalism (both intentional and unwitting).

Once again, happy haunting and good luck to everybody. :)

Quoted from Steven

Just to give you a few examples, lots of people write fan fiction for stuff like Doctor Who, Star Trek, Star Wars and the most famous (IMO) of this sort of tribute that have led to jobs, tons of stories of HP Lovecraft's cthulhu mythos. Plenty of jobs have come from his fantasy \horror ideas.

Quoted from ChrisBodily

Chris, I wish you and everyone else the best as well.

Is it bad if I want to eat the competition for this event, especially given the parameters of the exercise?

Lastly, thanks to Zach for doing this for us.  I hope you do at again.  If I may make a few suggestions
1 don't leave crucial things to fate.  if you want to draw from a hat,fine, but if the second pick is terrible due to the first one, just take another draw, or ask us if we'd like another draw.

If you plan to run something over 1week or that has multiple submissions, don't start the clock on weeks two and on until at least 2 days have passed by to allow time not only for Don to get the scripts up, but also to give us a chance to read the other stories as well as feedback for our stuff.

3  In cases like this where our names are on our stuff and we can have 1 submission any no rewrites until after others comment on them, allow those scripts to be posted early so that those who finished early can read them slower and give more thoughtful insightful responses.  I know that I felt a ton of pressure to read them ASAP so the writers can begin thinking about their rewrite.  This time you had a few entries, next time there could be 2dozen.

Dan

Quoted from DanC

It's just finding a venue where these types of work can be seen.

/r/producemyscripts is a subreddit that I've had some success on just recently.

Berserkers rev.01 just submitted. I really tried to clean up page one and the ending. Thanks, in advance, for the read.

Let's get these things up and ready to go!

Anyone know while the new scripts will be available to read?
Thanks
Dan

I PM'd Zach so we will see.

I'm sure Don will let us know as soon as he has them posted. :)

~Zack~

Quoted from Zack

I'm sure Don will let us know as soon as he has them posted. :)

~Zack~

I am having technical difficulties. Please stand by.

- Don

The Second Draft SSC2WC Scripts have been posted.  They are in the same threads as the first draft.

Immortal Enmity by Dan Campisi - Short, Monster Horror - A monster seeks revenge against the man who accidentally imprisoned it years ago when he was a child. - pdf, format

American Cannibal by Steven Wood - Short, Cannibal Horror - After not taken seriously when confessing to a string of horrendous murders, this business man tries his hand at cooking. 11 pages - pdf, format

A Cut Above the Rest by Chris Bodily - Short, Cannibal Horror, Pod, Clone, Science Fiction - A food critic uncovers the dark truth about a burger joint that has never gotten one bad review... or else. 12 pages - pdf, format

Kosher by Cameron Dueker - Short, Cannibal Horror - Kosher - A late night pit stop for a young couple turns deadly at a local deli when the kitchen runs outs of pastrami.  16 pages - pdf, format

Demon in the Sack by Vin Conzo - Short, Monster, Cannibal Horror, Comedy - A frazzled man recounts the events of a terrifying date to his immature co-workers. 14 pages - pdf, format

Berserkers by John Staats - Short, Cannibal Horror  - Too much gluten can be hazardous to your health. - pdf, format

Cry No More by Pedro Schreier writing as ThE StOryTelleR - Short, Monster, Cannibal Horror - Something is on the move. It leaves a bloody massacre in every place it went through. The only clue a research team found -  is a mysterious boy. What they don't know - they're already lost. - pdf, format

Red Rover by Dena McKinnon - Short, Monster Horror - A single mother battling with an autistic child moves to a new town for a fresh start but finds herself in a town with a sinister secret of its own.  14 pages - pdf, format

Thank you for doing this. Much appreciated.

Thanks for getting these up Don. You're the man. ;D

~Zack~

Quoted from Zack

Thanks for getting these up Don. You're the man. ;D

~Zack~

Thanks. Sorry for the delay. Server has been funky lately.

- Don

Quoted from Don

Thanks. Sorry for the delay. Server has been funky lately.

Merlot is for human consumption, not machines...

Saying this while imbibing. You have the power to delete... ;)

I'll try to look them all over again today.

Read them all and voted. Let's hope Russia stays out of this one. And the Matt Damon lookalike who gave Warren Beatty the wrong card. And Steve Harvey. :D

So... when is the ETA for the Writer's/Reader's Choice thingy?

Quoted from ChrisBodily

So... when is the ETA for the Writer's/Reader's Choice thingy?

Shouldn't be too much longer. :)

~Zack~

I'd like Steven and Cameron to weigh in on the scripts via: http://simplyscripts.com/WritersChoice-SSC2WC.html

- Don

I just did about an hour ago. Apologies for holding this up. If my votes didn't go through I can resubmit. My browser at work doesn't like SS anymore it seems.

Quoted from CameronD

I just did about an hour ago. Apologies for holding this up. If my votes didn't go through I can resubmit. My browser at work doesn't like SS anymore it seems.

Hey Cameron,
What browser version do you use at work?

I have sent the scores to Zack for posting.

- Don

Hey just throwing this out there. But could there be a "scene challenge?" Say a topic could be writing something with huge tension, or something funny, etc.

Quoted from Steven

Hey just throwing this out there. But could there be a "scene challenge?" Say a topic could be writing something with huge tension, or something funny, etc.

That sounds really cool. I'd love to do something like that.
Dan

scene challenge is a great idea.

Quoted from Steven

Hey just throwing this out there. But could there be a "scene challenge?" Say a topic could be writing something with huge tension, or something funny, etc.

I like that idea too. A great scene usually have a beginning, middle and end and therefore can often stand on its own as a mini short. The Curfew for example isn't really anything more than one scene. It still got picked up and made. :)

The main reason I suggested this is due to the quick turn around. Plus, there is this great youtube channel which you can find here:

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCErSSa3CaP_GJxmFpdjG9Jw

It's called "Lessons From The Screenplay" and it breaks down certain things in screenplays, obviously. The most recent episode focused on the 17 or 18 page opening of Inglorious Basters. There are only 16 videos as of now, but the quality is top notch.

Quoted from Don

Hey Cameron,
What browser version do you use at work?

Google Chrome. It always worked fine and then about two months ago the page won't load properly, I have to hit refresh multiple times to get everything to load. I tried Internet explorer and that to was a bit buggy as it always logged me out. But I'm a teacher so our comps have funny blocking software. I wonder if an update to that may be causing problems the browsers work fine on my laptop at home.

Quoted from Steven

Somebody visits Reddit :)

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