Print Topic

SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board  /  Short Horror  /  Zombies in Love
Posted by: Don, January 25th, 2018, 2:24pm
Zombies in Love by Fausto Lucignani - Short, Horror, Romance - After two centuries since their deaths, two lesbian zombies meet in a cemetery and fall in love.  5 pages

production: Shoestring production  3 zombies and one location - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Posted by: Warren, January 25th, 2018, 4:50pm; Reply: 1
So that just happened... I don't have the words.
Posted by: Don, January 25th, 2018, 5:52pm; Reply: 2

Quoted from Warren
So that just happened... I don't have the words.


The words are: "odious liquid" and "dark, coagulated blood" and "awesome".

Somewhere there is a film student sitting on ten gallons of stage blood and zombie makeup that needs to find this script.

Don




Posted by: bert, January 26th, 2018, 2:41pm; Reply: 3
Haha.  My only problem is that I am not getting why this has so much dialogue.
Posted by: Heretic, January 26th, 2018, 3:44pm; Reply: 4
10/10. Somebody get this in a theatre so I can watch it.
Posted by: Warren, January 26th, 2018, 4:16pm; Reply: 5

Quoted from Heretic
10/10. Somebody get this in a theatre so I can watch it.


Really so that's where the bar is. Wow.
Posted by: khamanna, January 26th, 2018, 4:20pm; Reply: 6
I wish it was a feature!
Posted by: Warren, January 26th, 2018, 4:29pm; Reply: 7
Actually now that you mention it, why wouldn't I want to watch 90 minutes of two dead humans groaning at each other and being intimate while their rotting bodily fluids leak out of them.

You make a very good point.
Posted by: eldave1, January 26th, 2018, 6:02pm; Reply: 8
ugh.Not for me
Posted by: James McClung, January 26th, 2018, 6:57pm; Reply: 9
Don't wanna say too much here, lest I come off as taking an intentional lark too seriously. I also haven't reviewed anything here in a while, so I don't know if "Writer interested in feedback" has proved a reliable indicator that the writer is indeed around to read it. What I will say is that I agree with Bert. The dialogue's gotta go. I straight up didn't read it.
Posted by: Fausto, February 5th, 2018, 2:43pm; Reply: 10
First of all, thank you very much for reading my script! You have been very courageous indeed...but, please, let's give the zombies a chance to express their feelings through dialogue. The two women want to spend their deaths together.
My best,
Fausto
Posted by: Kirsten, February 6th, 2018, 7:03am; Reply: 11
Lmao, nice one Fausto... thats the very first lesbian zombie, incredibly soft porn short ive read 😁.  P.s the dialogue is a liitle on the nose....😊
Posted by: Fausto, February 6th, 2018, 7:57am; Reply: 12
Hi Kirsten,
thank you for reading this unusual story. Regarding the dialogue, I see your point but please keep in mind that this is the way zombies talk...very simple and repetitive.
Best regards,
Fausto
Posted by: Fausto, February 6th, 2018, 9:13am; Reply: 13
Khamanna,
thank you for your suggestion...a feature zombie script is not a bad idea...I have to think about an original story.
Thank you for reading.
My best,
Fausto
Posted by: Heretic, February 7th, 2018, 10:46am; Reply: 14

Quoted from Warren
Really so that's where the bar is. Wow.


I think there's a lot to be said for a simple story told simply. The ladies love each other even in death -- it's a nice idea and it's well-expressed in a visually interesting way. To me it's the same impulse of total sincerity that drives great movies like Before Sunrise or Brawl on Cell Block 99.
Posted by: Fausto, February 7th, 2018, 11:27am; Reply: 15
Heretic,
you captured perfectly the soul of the story...a simple love story evolving after death...forever. I read the script of Before Sunrise and I saw the movie...fascinating in its simplicity.
Thank you for reading my script.
Best,
Fausto
Posted by: Fausto, February 10th, 2018, 8:19am; Reply: 16
I would like to thank all the 300+ courageous readers of this unique, ground-breaking script.
All my best to all!
Fausto
Posted by: Colkurtz8, March 10th, 2018, 5:12am; Reply: 17
Fausto

I really hope that’s your real name.

Fetid
- Good choice, love that word.

ZOMBIE
(raucously)
GRAAHGR.

- Does the male zombie not get a name?

Is there any rhyme or reason to the sounds uttered by the characters or did you just mash the keyboard? Doesn’t matter either way, just curious since all the dialogue is unintelligible.

Did I just read the first “woke” zombie script? Not only do you portray same-sex relations in an open non-judgemental way but the male character is completely secondary and doesn’t even get a name!

Why does Giselle get so angry at poor male zombie though when all he seems to be doing is professing his devotion to her? Could she not just respectfully decline? Then again, who knows how these two were treated during their actual 19th century lives if their lesbian relationship was a known thing and what kind of person male zombie was in his lifetime. Alas, we’ll never know.

A funny and rather gruesome piece you have here. It could actually work in a purely visual and visceral way on screen, like a silent film, which it practically is already. I mean really go all out with the liquids and body horror, particularly at the end, which you have done on the page.

Col.
Posted by: ScottM, April 2nd, 2018, 4:59am; Reply: 18
I didn't enjoy that at all.

Is there a purpose for all the dialogue?

People seem to be liking it for the most part, which I don't understand.

This would be visually disturbing to watch, but not in an entertaining way.

Each to their own I guess.

Good luck with it.
Posted by: kyecooper4, February 26th, 2019, 9:59am; Reply: 19
I actually found it quite funny, not sure if that's what you were going for.

Agree with most though didn't care to much for the dialogue.

Definitely an interesting concept though, well done :)
Posted by: kyecooper4, February 26th, 2019, 10:00am; Reply: 20
really enjoyed your descriptions aswell.
Print page generated: May 14th, 2024, 12:38pm