What's In A Name? by Richard F. Russell - Short, Comedy - A company diversity meeting wades into uncharted waters. 6 pages - pdf, format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Fixed the broken link.

Don

Hey Richard,

Good to see something up from you again. I'm sure I've missed a couple.

I always remembered you had a thing for social commentary with your scripts. Seems to be another one here, thought it doesn't quite work for me. I think I get what you're going for, but it just seems to get convoluted with the numerous labels they're throwing around and, after a while, I really kinda fell out of the read.

I wouldn't even presume to know what you mean with this.

Steve

Hi Richard,
Like Steve I fell out of the read when they were throwing names around.
Just wondering why these guys were doing this? Were they motivated by money somehow?

Didn't get this one at all. Sorry.

Doesn’t work for me.  I get the idea with the ending but it’s so ridiculous and OTT that I don’t think people would laugh, if filmed.  If you scale it back and make it more believable it should work.

I like this. I read this as a satirical piece about white men dominating business using loopholes in ridiculous red tape to maintain their control.

I would add more visuals into this, so we have something to see rather than just hear. Having a chart we can see with the categories rather than one of them using a laptop checklist - for example

Seems a bit racist and prejudice to me. Ehhh script wasn't bad, just probably offensive to some.