The Mirror by Pedro Chaves - Short - The struggle of a man against his biggest fear : himself 17 pages - pdf, format 8)

I just didn't think that this was very good. The dialogue was too cryptic and didn't make much sense, there were many spelling and grammar mistakes, you should cut using all the exclamation points in your actions, you're actions weren't written that well to begin with, and your story was confusing. What did his bloody hands, or the woman he was supposed to have killed, or remembering have to do with anything???? And it had very little signiicance on the end.

Talk about cryptic!  Yeah.  Definitely cryptic and confusing but I don't think that's such a bad idea.  The grammar mistakes are plenty but easily correctable.

"A dream of you in a world without you."  

I need to think about this one for a bit.  Does this mean that he is dead?  That someone is dreaming of him and with time, they remember less and less so his world is dissapearing?  I don't know.  I like the idea though.  Completely existential in nature yet there is a need for more information.  Maybe a few more markers to guide us through what you really mean to say.

will take your advice into consideration leonordjenkins :-)

Hey,

Just read this one,

One hell of a psychological piece.

A world with out him.  This script kept my attention untill the end. The brief flashs of the dreams was a nice touch, I was waiting for him to come back to reality. but He never did. Strange  very strange. The ending was weird with no sound. But I could visualize it as if I was there.  

The feeling of being alone with no one around to know you even exsist. Many people feel that way today, but you put in a form that I hope people can see.

I give this script a 4 out of 5 stars.

Dan