Hailey's Star by Spencer McDonald - Short, Romantic Comedy - A mystical college girl struggles to get home for a family  emergency and finds herself hooked up with a self destructive frat boy from hell. - pdf, format 8)

Hey Mc. Nice job, man! Very touching short story I have seen here in SS. I think just one scene is so exaggerated. It was that one in the check out of counter. It was just a lighter not a torch of fire! Well done, dude! Who knows you try to extend it into a feature? Good luck and congratulations! ;)

Hey, this was a very cool short! But I think you could make it a feature legth. It would be so much more touching and so much better.

Like there would be much more of a build-up to where he gives her his gift and it would be a lot more effective.

Good work, I really enjoyed it! The only downside for me is that it left me wanting more.

Can't wait to read anymore scripts of yours.

P.S--I really liked your descriptions. Short, sweet, and clear on what you want. I'm an amateur writer and I just can't seem to stop overwriting my descriptions and my action paragraphs.

--Julio