I am aware there are vairous ways of conveying sound in a script but how can one possibly be sure if it really fits well, description wise. I am only asking since I am having difficulty in this area with one of my scripts I'm currently working on. Also, I apologize for asking this, but does anyone know how to describe the sound of a shoutgun reloading? It's similar to a CH- sound but that's how far I can go. Much help is apreciated and thanks for your time.

FOr the shotgun say:

You hear the sound of a shotgun being cocked.


Thast all then the guy cocks the shotgun which make the sound.

Thanks God of Thunder for input. I was thinking of using that but I really don't want the reader to already know. I want it to still be a surprised. I'll take into consideration, thanks. :)  

What's the sound you need help with? Like BOOM or KAPOW, that is what I usually use if it's an explosion or gunshot.

For the sound of someone reloading a gun, I wouldn't really have a sound. As GOT said, you can just say he reloads the gun, but if you were to film this, you can tell the director that you want to make it a surprise or whatever.

Hope this helps :)

Sean

There are many creative ways to go about describing sounds.

You can be plain Jane:

Fat Tony loads his shotgun.

You can spice it up a little:

Fat Tony quickly loads his shotgun and SNAPS it shut.

You can play it out:

A pair of bloody, trembling hands fumble with shells as they slide them into a shotgun. With blood dripping from his split nose, Fat Tony loads the final cartridge and SNAPS the shotgun shut.

To make the sound of the shotgun is hard and you don't want to sound amatuerish in the process. I'd safely say to leave it has the character loading the gun.

Quoted from God of Thunder You hear the sound of a shotgun being cocked.

I would stay away from such notions as "You see", "We see", "We hear", "You hear". You need to be more descriptive and creative in the way you present a sequence. Producers and directors will determine what and how the audience will see things, unfortunately it's up to the writer to give them only the blueprint.

Hope this helps.

Thanks Zombie Sean and Mcduff for your input. I think I see the problem, I apologize greatly for this. My mind has gone crazy after writing for entirely yesterday.

What I mean is when a person shoots and then shoots again. There's a sound in between when the shot is fired and when the next slug is up and ready. I hope this is clearer and I apologize again.  

Just to elaborate on the previous comments, the goal is to suggest, not actually write the sound out. Its the production company's responsibility.

Example:

Richard enters kate's bed room. An audible sound of a gun clocking becomes apparent. Richard's head slightly jerks foward soon revealing a magnum revolver aimed at the back of his head.

So you are talking about a pump-action shotgun?

There is not a "dictionary" word for that sound -- and you are allowed a certain amount of freedom in the sounds you use.  You can even make up your own sound -- try it -- it's fun.  And lots of people put these in CAPS.  I know I like to:

Fat Tony fires point blank into Chubby Timmy's chest.  BLAM.  Fat Tony whirls and -- CHA-CHANK -- he pumps a fresh round into the weapon.  BLAMMO.  He blows Obese Tom's head off.  He steps over the to still-rolling head and drives the butt of the gun into its face with a wet THWAK.

Thanks Satch and Bert for your comments. My question is answered. Thank you all you helped me as well. I guess its a pump action shotgun; I'm not very good in differaitaing. Besides, if I do something wrong, I always have fellow screen writers on this site to tell me its wrong.  So, I got to take a chance on it. Thanks again.

If I understood it could be like this or couldn't : Fat Tony fires one... BLAM! Two... BLAM! ...Smiles - CLIK-CLOCK - Fat Tony turns slowly and a huge .9 pistol is pointed to his head... BLAM! Fat Tony's head blows off...SPLOFFT...splitering Fat Tony's brain all over a expensive Picasso!  It is Slim Mike! Slim Mike - What shit loss!

Yeah Helio. That's what I was asking assitance on. But others have so kindly answered me before. But that's what i was asking for, somthing similar to that one.  

I think it also depends on the tone of the script you're writing. Your action description should fit the tone of your story. If the tone is serious, you don't want to pull the reader out of your story with a bunch of made-up words like KABLAMMO but it might work for a comedy. Personally, I wouldn't capitalize a reload sound, nor would I capitalize every gunshot in a long gunfight.

Well, yeah -- I was exaggerating for effect.

You don't want to end up sounding like a comic book, of course.

But even a serious script can have distinct sounds -- if you want to give something special emphasis, a unique sound effect can help you do that.

Quoted from bert You don't want to end up sounding like a comic book, of course.

I agree. Only an idiot would write something like

PAZZOW! PAZZOW! KABLAMMO!

or

ZZZZZT! BOING! SLAP!

;D

LOL. I absolutely agree. Do not fret, it's not going to end up in that manner. Thanks Martin and again Bert. My question has become so popular over a short time period.

Using Bert's sound effect, you could write it like this:

John, knife in hand, peeks around the corner.

BLAMMM!

He ducks back as the wall EXPLODES over his head.

He cowers in his hiding spot as FOOT STEPS are heard, growing louder.  He looks up and sees Tony a few feet from him.  Tony holds a pump action shotgun in his hands and pumps another shell--

CHA-CHUNK

--into chamber.

           JOHN
    Fuck....

           TONY
    That's the word I'd use.




Phil

LOL. Such creativity of sounds I've just unleashed on this thread. It's great. I would like to thank all of you for your contributions. But I already sent in my work a few minutes ago, but this all comes in handy for anyone else and probably a couple future scripts of mine.

Gabriel

Quoted from Mr.Ripley But I already sent in my work a few minutes ago...

Hmm....I don't like reading that, Gabriel.

Sounds like you sent it in within minutes of typing the final fade.

Did you proof it carefully?

Did you set it aside for at least a few days -- then return to it and read it again?

These are important steps -- even for a short -- and most of the best writers here will tell you that those final revisions -- the kind you make yourself -- are vital before putting a story out there for everyone else to read.

Oh yes Bert, I have a habit of always re-reading my work everytime I go back to it. It's a habit I've had for a long time.

For example, If I am close to finishing a feature length script, I re-read everything in order to get the flow and enter the mood the story entails. If I find an error or a great inspiriation comes to me during my read, I would not progress further. Rather, I would stay there into the problem is fixed or my new entry fits perfectly along with the other scenes.

I'm not one of those who quickly write their scripts within  two or three days and then post it up. I usually have two scripts to work on. When I'm done with one script, I work on another script in order to refresh from the previous one.

I don't calcualte time as well when I write. But I estimate that it takes me a good week or two to write a script. I have recently been working only on two, Closed In and the  one that's soon coming up. But I do proofread Bert and take some time from it, I appreciate your concern from a writer to another writer.

I'm not saying its 100% perfect, but it's the best that I can offer to my work, to my speical muse.  

This, in my opinion, is the best way to write it.

Fat Tony loads the shotgun, he snaps it shut with a WHO PUT THE BOP IN THE BOP DE BOP DE BOP, WHO PUT THE KLANG IN THE  KLINGA KLANGA DING LANG.

With description like that, the script will sell before it's done.

HaHaHa.  That is a creative way of writing that scene.